I don't have any kids of my own, so this is new for me. My step kids just moved in with us and the girl just turned 13. Her dad doesn't want her to date, but I found out she has been dating even though he told her not to and often lies to cover it up. Should I bust her, or is she old enough for me to try and convince her dad it is ok so she won't have to lie and do it behind our backs?
2006-07-11 18:57:25 · 19 answers · asked by ebabsto 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
oh yeah and the one boy he has already caught her with and that is when the no dating rule came in to play. (introducing the boy would not be fun - dad already hates him)
2006-07-11 19:04:12 · update #1
Well, I think the more her dad tries to supress her, the more her rebellious side will come out. There's no real way to solve the problem of her dating unless they learn to make a respectful compromise, or else he cuts her off from all human contact. If she can trust you, I would make sure she's safe in the relationship and guide her the right way, because it's going to happen regardless. If he won't agree for her to be able to date, that's about all you can do.
2006-07-11 19:02:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be hard, but I think that you should (as you say) bust her. Sit down with her and talk to her about dating and the responsibilities and pros and cons about it. In my opinion girls should not date until at least 15 and even then they should group date. It is not a good idea for girls and guys to be getting so close that bad things end up happening before they are ready. 13 year old girls should not have to make that difficult of a decision that young. I know it is hard, but if she must date at least explain to her your opinion on whether this is a good idea or not and do what your judgment tells you to do.
2006-07-12 02:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by Girl who needs help 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 13 is old enough, you should probably discuss her lying with her, but maybe the two of you can discuss her dating with her dad. I guess if she agrees to some provisos then there should be a solution that will keep you all happy.
2006-07-12 02:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not tell on her. She will not like that. She will even probably hate you for it. Make her open up to you. Make her trust you so that she will tell you everything. You cannot ask her to stop dating now because she has already started. Just guide her what she should or should not do. Be a her friend first and foremost. :)
2006-07-12 02:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jo Ann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone wants to love and to be loved. She is entering the university of life. and needs your support. You must grow a trusting relationship with your daughter. So, that she can rely on you anytime for support. Discuss all the options and complications with her. But she is the decision maker. But you must be there for her, even she makes a terrible mistake.
2006-07-12 02:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by Jean V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't bust her, but let her know that u do know. if she is doing bad things then i would tell. but let her find things out on her own. Try to convince her dad to let her date if u feel she is old and mature enough. good luck ;)
2006-07-12 02:00:19 · answer #6 · answered by ilessthanthreeyou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
13 is OK, give her an open and friendly advice on good dating practices at her age, its objective and process, and communicate about it with her father properly. Do a nice control on her dating properly.
2006-07-12 02:06:52 · answer #7 · answered by sastra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
16 is the best age to start dating in my book
2006-07-12 02:03:14 · answer #8 · answered by Raqi Killer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its too young at 13 to be dating.......but you nor her father won't stop her from seeing him or dating him or whoever she wants,we were kids once and when we felt like it was time for a boyfriend it was time,all you can do is teach her to be carefull and plz teach her about protecting herself and you don't have to bust on her either
2006-07-12 02:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by artsarejanice.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let her dad know. she should only be allowed to date when she is old enough to get married cause thats what dating really is-looking for a marriage mate. 13 is not old enough to get married!
2006-07-12 02:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋