how do you disipline a one year old? ive been passive, loud, ive slapped his hand and ive tried timeout.?

Question

he slaps the tv, tries throwing speakers, slaps me in the face along with other family members. He yells when he doesnt get his way and even slams his own head into our tile flooring. if i yell he laughs. if i slap his hand he laughs. he wont obey timeout and of course hes too young for me to sit and explain every thing ot him. so im running out of options,

Answer 1

Use a firm voice, but not yelling, and say "no slapping" or whatever the negative behavior is. Redirect him to something that is appropriate. He is very young, so the advantage is his attention span is short, and he will easily move from one activity or behavior to another. Also be consistent in your behavior expectations so he knows what to expect and what is expected of him. I wouldnt slap him because he will learn to slap/hit others. Time out should be a last resort, but if you have to use it, follow these guidelines:
*one minute of timeout for each year of age, therefore he should only be in timeout for one minute.
*He probably won't stay in time out at first, so you will have to pick him up and place him back in time out (without talking to him- talking to him when you are disciplining him will be giving him negative attention)
*He may tantrum worse when he realizes he has to stay in time out; don't worry, he'll calm down. When he calms down, tell him: "you're calm now; you had to go to time out because you hit mommy (or whatever the behavior was). Mommy does NOT like hitting. Mommy likes gentle hands" Then take the child's hand and help him to give you a gentle pat on the arm and then a hug. Praise him for the gentle hands. You get the picture.
*Basically teach the child the appropriate or targeted behavior by demonstrating, modeling the behavior, and hand over hand helping the child to do it, then praise so he'll do it next time. Then when you see him doing it on his own next time, make a big deal about it "You're giving me a gentle hug! I LIKE when you give me gentle hugs! Good job!" This is positive attention/ positive reinforcement. Do this every time so you don't send mixed messages and your child will learn quickly.
*One last piece of advice- always tell your children what it is you want them to do instead of what NOT to do. It takes practice but it works like a charm if you can get into the habit of positively stating your rules. Example: the kid is jumping on the couch. Instead of saying "Don't jump on the couch" or "stop jumping" (they don't hear "stop" or "don't), tell him "Put your feet on the floor" or "Feet belong on the floor". Try it; you'll be amazed as long as you are consistent.

Answer 2

Sounds Just like my little boy. He does all of those things and then some. So rest assured he's just being a normal 1 year old. My son gets a gentle but firm pop on his butt. He understands when I say that's not nice. This age is hard, they love to push your buttons. But don't be fooled he understands a lot more than he lets on. Time out usually doesn't work until they get a little bit older. When he throws a fit, slams his head into the floor and etc... Walk out of the room and ignore him. When he realizes that he is not getting the attention he wants he stops. When he starts yelling tell him you don't understand what he wants and then ignore him until he can use a calm voice. My son is the exact same way and some days I want to scream and beat him, but I know that he is just learning and no matter how hard it is we have to keep our cool. Best thing that has worked for me is just ignoring his fits. He usually starts acting out when he's thirsty or hungry or tired and doesn't want to tell me he's hungry or thirsty. Make sure he's getting enough sleep at night and getting plenty of your attention. He'll act better once he figures out he's not getting what he wants when he acts out. He'll also act better if he feels like his needs are being met. Good luck! If you need any mommy support please email me. It's nice to be able to have someone that can relate! My address is [e-mail]! Good luck!

Answer 3

One of the best ways to deal with a child this age when they act up is distraction. Tell him, "no, don't do that, but you can do this." And give him a favorite toy, a snack, or something else to do. Try "time-ins" for this age, where instead of making him sit by himself, you take a minute to sit with him in a special place where he can calm down, especially if he is throwing a fit. And don't worry, a lot of kids go through a phase where they hit their heads on things like walls and floors. They will stop if it hurts too much. They won't hit their heads hard enough to damage themselves, except sometimes if they are developmentally disabled, but you would know that through other things. It sounds as if he is perfectly normal.

Answer 4

I would have someone come in and observe him. He seems rather aggressive and is getting this from something....a one year old should not be acting this way. Does he observe these things in the home? When throwing a tantrum, ignoring often helps. An audience only makes the problem worse. I think the first step would be to take him to the doctor and see if there is something medically wrong. They might be able to point you in the right direction as far as having a child behaviorist observe your child and give you some insight and help. Good luck.

Answer 5

What kind of a parent hits, slaps, or bites their child? This is abusive, and parents should never do anything like this, even if you think it 'teaches' them not to do it.

Also, try to stay consistent with discipline methods. Really, at this age, you cannot discipline because the infant (and he is only one year old, so let's remember that) does not have the capability to understand what the punishment is about. You can however, redirect their attention when they are doing something you would prefer they not do. For example, when he slaps the television, fetch a preferred toy and start playing with him. Likely, he will relish the attraction of playing with his mom and forget all about the television.

Actually, that may be one of your issues. How much time do you spend just playing with and being with your child? Alot of kids will act out when they are not getting enough positive interaction with mom and dad.

Finally, try to maintain your composure. Remember, you are the adult, so it is up to you to teach him how to be a responsible, decent human being. Good luck - being a parent is hard work, but so worth it.

Answer 6

Until kids reach a certain age they don't have any impulse control. Even if they know what they are doing is wrong they can't control the impulse to do it. I have seen my son who is almost 18 months begin to start realizing when he needs to not do something. He will start to try to bite the baby and he'll catch himself and bite something else instead. Just be patient and consistent. If you behave differently every time he acts out he won't be able to tell how he is supposed to act. He needs to know that certain actions come with certain consequences every time. Timeout is a good thing to use. He won't understand if you tell him to sit on the chair and don't move. Try instead sitting him on your lap in a quiet place and talking to him in a calm voice explaining why not to do whatever it was that got him there. It will hopefully help you both to be calm and give him a chance to forget about being naughty. Good luck!

Answer 7

I didn't yell at my oldest when he was one, and I don't yell at my youngest...
First relax..don't get mad when he does these things..it will be easier if you do this.
slaps the tv - lower yourself down to his level and in a stern not loud voice say "no"
throwing speakers the same thing as the tv
slaps you in the face - take his hand look him right in the eye and with a stern voice say "NO"

Remember you don't need to yell to get your point across. and if you keep yelling it will be a hard habit to get rid of.

Also If I was getting mad and frustrated I would go put my son in his crib and give myself a time away, only a few minutes and listen to him.....

When they know you are serious and they will try to push your buttons and you need to keep doing the same thing over and over again, because kids will try to see if they can break you.

My son tried slapping me in the face and he thought it was funny, and then he tried biting me and he didn't like it when mommy did the same thing right back to him, he cried but he knew mommy was serious. and that was the last time he tried to bite me.

If he yells cause he isn't getting his own way, don't give in, tell him no, and he will soon learn that when mommy says no she means no...if he hits his head on your tile, pick him up and put him in his crib...give him a few minutes and then go get him...
everyone used to say mine would stop that stuff if he hurt himself but then he would cry and want mommy to cuddle him..so I had to fix that so it wouldn't happen and when he is in trouble or he threw his fits I had a solution that fixed it and was easier on me...

Hitting him, slapping him, spanking him well that kind of teaches him its okay to hit, slap....and all the other things you are trying to teach him not to do....

Also you are just begining, you will be repeating yourself for years to come...so dig in your heels and ride this out....because later you will have to pick your battles wisely...I am a mother of a 3 yr old and a five-six month old.

good luck

Answer 8

I have a one year old that is doing the same thing. It is a thing that they go through. They like to test you to see what you will do when they do certain things. I have 3 other kids that went through this too. You have to be stern with him but don't yell. That just shows him that it is ok to yell when someone does something he doesn't like. If you slap his hand then he thinks it is ok to hit. I get a stern look on my face and tell him not to hit because it hurts. He smiles at me and then lays his head on me like he is sorry. He is just testing me to see what he can do and what I will do when he does it. All my kids have grown out of this so far, except of course the baby that is doing it now, and they move on to bigger tests with you. Good luck!

Answer 9

I have a one year old myself, and it sounds to me like your child is just looking for attention. It seems to me that he is slapping, throwing things, and laughing when you yell because he knows he can get a reaction from you. It is a power game. I know it's hard, but you need to be calm and patient. The next time he does something like that, ignore him. If he does something that is dangerous, or can not be ignored, then take him and put him in his room by himself and shut the door. Say something like "We don't do that" and just put him in his room alone for a couple of minutes. Don't yell or get visably angry. If you are worried, or this doesn't help, I would take him into a child psycologist.

Answer 10

Well there is restricted time out. IF you can get him into the high chair or a car seat try that. He can not get out that way and he can not hurt himself. Good news though, he should outgrow it. My 9 year old bit herself every time she got mad and laughed at us when we tryed the same things u are. The time out seat worked great. She outgrew this in a month or so after she saw she could not win with the car seat or high chair holding her down. It is DCFS approved as well, (we made sure that it was ok to do this before we did and they said as long as u do not harm them or them harm themselves it was alright)

Good luck to you!
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