My ex-fiance and I have been spending a lot of time together over the past couple of months. He calls me or writes me and asks me to come over and we watch movies, listen to music, dance, etc. I usually end up spending the night and he tells me that he loves me but that we are better off as friends. One moment he is asking me to marry him again and then the next he takes it back. help me understand him.
2006-07-11 17:23:30 · 13 answers · asked by A. C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He and I have been friends for five years and both admit that we are best friends. Last week after realizing that I went out on a date he wanted me around a lot more. Is he just jealous or does he really care? I know he has commitment issues. But yes I honestly do love him.
2006-07-11 17:40:57 · update #1
You're asking the wrong question.
Are YOU interested? Because this wishy-washy back-and-forthedness is who he is, and you will deal with it for as long as you know him. And if you can't understand him now, you never will.
There's no way that he's your "ex-fiance" because of him, because he couldn't have achieved that level of commitment in the first place without your help. So remind yourself why he's your ex, and just tell him to leave you alone. Stop thinking so little of yourself that you're willing to subject yourself to this just for the chance that he might possibly love you. If this is who he is, he can fall in and out at a moment's notice.
Your best bet is to move on and find someone that you know loves you. But even then, that's not enough. Know that you love him, too. Don't just say "ok, I found someone that loves me, I'm getting married". That's pathetic.
2006-07-11 17:32:32 · answer #1 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not serious about you.
He just wants to keep you sticking around longing by dangling the carrot of marraige.
It seems to me that you are not extremmely interested in him either. Marriage would be the worst option at this point, whether or not he is interested.
Ask him straight out: Do you want to remain friends or get married.
If he says he doesnt know, lose the guy.
Advice: Find somebody else and ditch this guy. You are worth much more than you're being treated.
2006-07-11 17:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooh, the hot and cold game.
I would dump this guy right away. It seems to me that he can't make up his own mind right now, do you think that when you're married he'll be able to? I mean do you want somone that every other day is asking for an annulment or divorce?
There are two things that can happen.
- One, he'll come to his senses and realize that he's an idiot and loosing a great gal with his indecision
-Two, he's actually a jerk and you don't deserve him, and deserve to get yourself out of there so you can start healing, and meet the gu that will love you unconditionally
2006-07-11 17:28:30 · answer #3 · answered by Noel H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello A. C,
You need a fresh start. Here is what you need to know, to play the dating game,
1-Get control of your man.
2-Punish your man.
3-Pin your man.
4-Head for home plate by taking his wallet and stuffing it into your brassiere.
A. C, If you don't keep your eye on the ball and learn what you are doing, you might as well get a tattoo and nose piercing. You will be a cheap tramp and your kids will grow up to become suicide bombers or worse!
Ok now, dump that current loser of yours, get back into the dating scene and start having some fun!
Jake
2006-07-11 17:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by Jake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he understands....sounds like he's scared of commitment.
You guys are going to have to really open up and talk to each other if your relationship is going to work. It will never work without trust.
Maybe you should both see a counselor....he could have some issues.
2006-07-11 17:27:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about it. Open communication is very important, and there's something obviously bothering him (and you too). Find out what it is, and come back here for more help! Good luck!
2006-07-11 17:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he playing games and he know that you still have feelings for him
since you are spenting more time together,i would not be spent
all my time with him that why they are called ex. time to move
on.this back and forth nonsense is crazy. he know what he wants
and as long as you are around is going to be games.
2006-07-11 17:30:14 · answer #7 · answered by quietstorm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wants to keep his opptions open and so should you the first time he gets jelous tell him to commit make him under stand that he needs to know you are the only one he wants
2006-07-11 17:30:59 · answer #8 · answered by manamil@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt know if he really wants you back or not. my advice is just tell him that if he cant make up his mind about your relationship then you should just move on. and find a guy who really does know what he wants to get out of your relationship. so just tell him that. and if he cant make up his mind....move on.
2006-07-11 17:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with ur the first answer. he definitely cant even straighten out his mind. i think u should move on with ur life, and maybe if he realizes he might lose u he'll come to his senses. if not, then who knows..............?
2006-07-11 17:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by allstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋