My fiancé would like his sister to be a bridesmaid. The problem is she slightly racist. My fiancé and his family are white and I am black. He isn't racist just his family is. I don't know if I should ask her for the sake of getting closer to his family or if I shouldn't because she is racist.
2006-07-11 16:28:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, ask her to be a bridesmaid. It could be something that would bring you and his family closer together. When asking, tell her how much you love her brother and how much it would mean to you and to him if she would be one of your bridesmaids.
Also, as planning a wedding usually falls on the bride's family, please try and include his family as well. Ask their opinions on food, flowers, etc. It might make them more comfortable with the wedding the more time they spend with you and your family. Maybe a lunch with your mother and your future mother in law and sister in law? Good luck and Best Wishes.
2006-07-11 16:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will make your fiance happy and if you don't ask her, I'm sure they'll accuse you of being racist. So for the sake of keeping peace with your new family I think you should ask her to be in your wedding. I wish you all the best and good luck.
2006-07-11 18:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, by all means honor his sister in this way. But to avoid future friction, have a list of any responsibilities and expenses that will be involved. Consider this list a sacred contract, and be sure you don't later ask her to buy or do anything that you didn't warn her to expect. If you "forget" to list that you expect all your bridesmaids to have professional manicures, at their own expense, you can't complain later if anyone refuses to do so. Ask her, give her the list, and give her a week to decide if she wants to take on the expense.
2006-07-11 17:56:25 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just for the sake of asking, I would ask her so they couldn't come back on you and say you didn't b/c you are the racist.
2006-07-12 05:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by bejustmissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would ask her because after all, she is going to be family and it would be a nice gesture as well as doing something nice for your fiance. It is his wedding too and it probably is very important to him and would mean a lot to have her be a part of it. Good Luck :)
2006-07-11 17:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how she treats you. If she is outwardly racist and rude to you then I would not ask her because this is YOUR day. If you want to reach out to her and think she can "change" then make the first step and include her. Good Luck!
2006-07-11 16:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by Julie H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wrong question--when you marry, you become part of both families, his and yours---are you two ready to forgo any relationship with his side? have you discussed children? p.s. slightly racist? --that's like saying --slightly pregnant! think it over and pray a lot!!!
2006-07-11 16:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard question, but you should definitely confide in your fiance and let him know how you feel. Chances are he will have your back whatever you do or he wouldn't be marrying you. He loves you!
2006-07-12 05:42:01 · answer #8 · answered by TRISH 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her... she may be touched that you asked even though you know about her "problem" and it is HER problem... it all comes down to how you feel about it. Don't do it if you really don't want to.
2006-07-11 17:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
2006-07-11 16:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋