Him/her? which one do i stand up for?

Question

I have a 15 year old brother who recently split from his girlfriend, they have been engaged for nearly a year and livin in the same house as me.

He is my brother and i do love him, but i hate him just now cause i feel like he has played with that girls head, but should i just forgive him and let it go?

I listen to the girl every nite on the phone telling me how much pain she is in, and i consider her as my friend so would never tell her to stop calling, but i also find myself crying myself to sleep at night cause of all the pain that has been cause, should i ask her to stop talking to me about it?

Forgot to add, she is 18, when they both first meet we did tell him he was too young to rush into all this at that age, but he did not listen to any of the family and said he was really in love with her, and that it was love at first sight so all we could do was accept it.

Answer 1

By the sounds of it your brother made a lucky escape,,,,,,,,
He is only 15 and boys mature later than girls so I would imagine that this relationship would have meant something to him but with his age he could move onto another girl tomorrow, this is just the norm for boys his age.
If she was 18 when they first met she should have been a wee bit more mature to know that he would not be mature enough to get emotionally involved as she appears to have got. After all if he is 15 now and they were engaged for a year that would mean he would have been 14 when they first got together, and if they have had a sexual relationship then more shame on her, it is all too often that people will diss boys for have sex with underage girls but then we forget about the girls who have sex with under age boys.
My guess is she will get over it in time in the mean time don't turn your back on your brother as he is starting to grow up and will be in relationships until he finds mrs right. You will just have to find a diplomatic way of expressing yourself to this girl and stop taking everyone’s problems on, crying yourself to sleep for other peoples pain is not solving anything just upsetting you, just remember you can be there for people by listening to their problems but you don't need to be sad and let it effect you. You are the one who is responsible for your own emotions so take charge of them girl and be strong.
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Answer 2

Boys take longer to mature than girls. He's only 15 so he doesn't think! He went out with her because it was something new, different. You say they've been engaged for nearly a year, how could a 14 year old boy find himself locked up in such a relationship before he had a chance to grow up and have a life! She should have been a little more reaslistic and realise that she shouldn't expect too much out of the relationship.

You find yourself caught in the middle and that isn't fair! I can imagine that this girl is heartbroken by why cry out to you? She's simply putting you under pressure while also causing arguments with your younger brother. Why do you think she's doing it? My idea is ... So you can pressure your brother in some ways!

Why don't you tell her (Next time she calls) That you feel really sorry that things didn't work out but it is not the end of the world, and in time she'll meet someone else. Also do tell her that no matter how wrong your brother may have been/not been, he is your brother and he needs you.

Answer 3

Your brother is very young, you know this already. Between the ages of 14 and 21, young people change very much. They mature into the adult they will become. 15 is very young to have the responsibility of an intense relationship, however important it may have seemed. It sounds like he needs his freedom right now. Taking sides is dodgy, you will end up in the middle and in danger of losing two people you care for. How about you try to regain your integrity, put the subject off limits and look at the two as individuals, see the good in both, notice their differences, and because you are being seen as the important link, don't be the link, be the example and look ahead to all the things you enjoy. Not easy, but maybe worth a try?

Answer 4

You don't give the age of the girl. but since your brother is just 15, I am assuming that the girl is either 15 or younger; so they are still teenagers. Break-ups do happen at this age, it is all part of maturing and teenagers are not yet mature enough to stabilise themselves in a long term commitment. Give it time, the girl will eventually find someone else and stop calling you herself and your brother will find another also. So to answer your question, which side? - choose neither, stay neutral and let them sort it out by themselves.

Answer 5

The worst thing is to be stuck in the middle of a relationship especially when both sides have the pro/cons IE your brother being 2 young. You should talk to your brother and find out whats going on with him and offer him some big sister advice but tell him that you are still going to be friends with this girl but you will keep the friendship away from the house not to cause to much pain to him maybe he woke up and realised that he can't be with so one older then him especially as he prob wants to do all the kid things that he should be doing!! As for the girl tell her that you still want to be friends but you would prefer to keep out of the relationship thing with her as its between her and your brother and you don't want to be caught in the middle and take sides. if she does want to be a friend with you she will understand this.

Answer 6

your brother is only 15, perhaps you are angry for him messing with this girl's head, but do you really expect him to take on adult responsibilities and ideas at such a young age? perhaps 'hate' is too strong a word for this because how many 15 yr olds do you think get engaged and actually STAY engaged, get married, and stay together happily? probably not that many... id say cut him some slack there.

as for his ex gf, maybe you should tell her what you said here - that you like her as a friend but this is all causing you pain and putting you in the middle. she might be talking to you purely in hopes that you will tell your brother and he will feel bad and get back together with her, for all you know. or she might really need a shoulder to cry on for awhile. but either way, if you are not comfortable with it, tell her.

Answer 7

Yes. It's not your problem. Don't let her cry to you and make you unhappy. She probably was messed up in the head before she met your brother. Now she's messing with your head.That may be part of the reason they broke up. You have to break up with her too. She's trying to come between family and that's wrong.

If he is 15 and she is 18 she is a child molester according to the law. If it was the other way around your brother could be going to jail. She's the evil one in the relationship.Don't let her turn you against your brother.

Answer 8

Yes you need to tell her that you are sorry the relationship did not work out with your brother but that you can not keep talking with her about it

tell your brother you feel like you did not handle himself very well but that is your opinion and you love him anyway

this girl will move on a fade away but your brother will allways be your brother

you should never get involved

Answer 9

You don't hate your brother, you hate what he did. He's a typical 15 yr. old boy. They don't have a lot of sensitivity or brains. About the girl, if you want to continue being friends with her, that's fine, but tell her that when she talks about your brother, it makes you feel caught in the middle and you're not going to do that anymore.

Answer 10

Your 15-year-old brother's been engaged for a year. Not too bright, is he?