what can I do to stop yelling at my children?

Answer 1

Maybe you need a break from the daily routine of children. Someone else to step up and cover your role for you long enough to regroup and see the forrest for the trees. We all get overloaded and need to step outside the box a little to get our footing in life back.

Answer 2

Put yourself in a timeout, and sit still. Then ask yourself "Why am I so angry" sometimes we need to look beneath the surface, to find the answer. Unfortunately our children get the bulk of that anger that's being directed towards them when there are issues that are bothering us. Also, children seem to act up more when we are frustrated, (I think they are picking up the vibe or vibes) or maybe that's just how it seems. When we are frustrated, we are very sensitive and every little thing or sound bothers us more. So it is important to find the culprit that's causing the anger and deal with it, and the yelling and screaming will come to an end. I know because I been there, and done it.

Answer 3

First ask yourself why you get angry so easily.
Sometimes a situation might not render yelling but you just
want to yell for the sake of it.
Anyway, question your relationship with your husband first.
Sometimes it is some kind of frustrating and you need to
take it out on someone, etc, etc.
On the issue of your kids, maybe you should try the soft
approach. I do not know their ages or how many kids
you have so it is hard to access the situation better.
I guess the best bet is for you to sit down with them
one to one (choose a good fine day) and talk to them individually
about YOUR FEELINGS about how they make you feel.
Let them know you love them, you hate yourself for
yelling, how can they help you so that you need not
have to yell at them. Ask them what they want,why
they do certain things that upset you, etc, etc.
Hopefully when they know you care about them and
want to know what they want they would be more
accomodating to do what mum wants them to do.
Both parties must be able to negotiate, to make
sacrifices, to compromise, so that both parties are
happy with the new arrangement. Give the kids a
trial period to change the situation in the home.
Remember, when we show those we love and let
them know it, they will love us back and not try to
make us angry or hurt. Most importantly we must
let them know our feelings, when they make us
angry (tell them I wish you did not do that as it hurts
me very much) and if they make you happy (let
them know even it its just washing their own
dishes, whatever). Kids have feelings too and
with the stress and pressure they get from school
they are one frustrated lot too.
I would also suggest arranging a babysitter or ask the
older siblings to help out and you have 1/2 a day
off just window shopping or having tea with your
friends. The outside interaction would help you
a lot as I think you just dont have time left to
yourself to enjoy doing some of the things you used
to enjoy. Even betterstill, go for a drive-in movie with
your husband and cuddle under the stars. Your
kids would love to see the sparkle in your eyes
the next day and years after.... Enjoy being a mother
as the kids really do grow up fast!! Wish you have a happy family
like mine in no time....I know you can do it.

Answer 4

I'm going to guess this is an anger issue, not a talking over the ambient noise issue? All I can suggest is to keep a level head and to empathise. Ask yourself if what had been done warranted being yelled at. Pretend you had done it, what do you think would be a reasonable reaction (which may very well be yelling in some circumstances) since you are, I assume, the rational and responsible adult. When you feel the anger or frustration welling up try to step back from it, acknowledge it so you can control it and not lose your control to it.

Answer 5

Every time you catch yourself yelling, get a peice of paper and write 100 times: " I will say kind loving words to my children". Think about the words while you are writing. Imagine yourself speaking in a more controled tone to your kids. If they ask what you're doing, tell them you're breaking a very bad habit. Tell them how much you love them, and explain that yelling at each other is not the best way to show it....Just a thought.

Hoping the best for you...

Answer 6

Start by setting some ground rules and STICK by them no matter what. Make up a schedule and a rewards system....children need predictability. They need to understand the "If and then" system of things....such as.....If you hit your brother then you no longer get to watch TV for 3 days. OR if you do your chores for the next 3 days without me having to remind you then you will get _______________ (fill in the blank). Then once you have established the punishments and rewards you have to stick to them regardless of how hard it is. THen, they will know that you mean business. I'm a teacher and in a class of 32 kids, this is the only way to go, so I imagine that it will work for a few children as well. Good luck...your children will thank you for the consistancy and you will save your lungs. :)

Answer 7

Before you start ,take a deep breath and remind yourself that your children are the future you. They will react the same as you do now. Do you want your kids yelling at your grand kids just because you were the first to do the yelling? That's really going to hurt. Go ahead and be selfish. Your kids and grand kids will be better off just as you will be.

Answer 8

Breathe, count to 10, take a walk outside(don't leave the kids, just maybe around your yard ya know), stick your head under a faucet of cold water, anything you can. I know as parents, we sometimes have no choice but to yell, like when one of our kids runs in the street to get a ball that bounced out and they don't check for traffic first, but if it can be avoided, we should not yell at our kids. They are small, incorrigible people, and we are their role models(Like it or Not). Of course we are only human, and we WILL make so many mistakes(more than we can ever count) but we must try. As their role models, we should perform as we want them to, remember, we are forming the future society of the world, so lets try not to screw them up too bad OK. Trust me, I know it's hard, I have 3 girls, ages 11, 10, and 9, and they test my sanity on a momentary basis, not daily, but yew by the minute, but I try to remember what I was like when I was a kid, and how patient my mom was, and I am thankful for her more everyday. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely not the perfect role model or Mom, I have yelled, I have sweared, and probably will again, but I try, really really try to be as understanding as possible.

Answer 9

think about how might make your kids feel. they'll proabably start yelling back, at each other, at others very soon.

if you have the urge to yell, think about something nice and breathe deeply in and out. if necessary and possible leave the room.
try to think of the reason why you want to yell? is it really that serious, frustrating, bad?

if it's seriously very bad (loud and constantly) you should talk to someone about it, even seek professional help. otherwise you should start working on getting it under control by thinking of ways that you know calm you down easily (with breathing technique?!).

to get it under control is definitely in the children's interest.
good luck with that =)

Answer 10

Mom you need to have some alone time. I'm a single parent too and alone time is hard to come by. I get my time in the bathtub. When the kids go to sleep, run yourself a bath---take a book, magazine whatever---a radio ---some candles---incense---and have some Mommie-time. You may be able to only get one bath in a week ,but it's so worth it. If you have friends or family members that are willing to take your children----take yourself out--so shopping ---to the movies---to lunch. You gotta take time for yourself. It's easier said than done,but it helps. Good luck. Maybe there's a sinlge parent support group in your community. It's okay to be tired and you are not alone. Keep your head up, Mom!!