I am not a very outgoing person. How do I become one?

Question

I am not shy, I talk to people and they to me. It is just that people bore me and I can't be around them for long. Why am I so withdrawn. It is an unconscious thing and when I have become conscious, it becomes hurtful. How can I get over the withdrawn feeling. BY the way, I have seperation anxiety. I know hard case to solve sl

Answer 1

There are two types of people: introvert and extroverts. Many people incorrectly assume that introverts are outgoing and extroverts are shy. In reality, the introvert/extrovert designation applies to the way that your gain energy. An extrovert is physically and emotionally charged and motivated by personal interactions when an introvert is physically and emotionally charged by solitude. I am not a shy person, but I am an introvert. Attending a party or shopping tires me. My sister is an extrovert and can't get enough of time with others. When she is by herself she is totally bored and tired.

You should check out the Myers-Briggs personality assessment at http://www.personalitypage.com/home.html. It has some great insight. Also, check out the book Please Understand Me II.

Answer 2

Introverts use up energy interacting with other people and need some time alone to recharge. Extroverts become energized by socializing with many people.

You need to be ok with being an introvert and know your limits.

If you spend a lot of time with a group, such as in school, you may need a quiet period before meeting more people later. The lower your energy level, the more you will find yourself tuning out when you try to socialize.
Most introverts, as they get older, become less introverted and more tolerant of people and group time. Take it easy and you will enjoy socializing more.

Answer 3

I can be the same way sometimes. Just be yourself. I think that true conversations come from the inside. Maybe these people just aren't talking about anything that you find meaningful. Don't force yourself to talk to these people. When you feel like you are in the mood to socialize, you will. Maybe you need to spend more time sharing your views. Listening to your views might help others out of their shallowness.

Answer 4

Your separation anxiety is causing you to withdraw from people before they withdraw from you. You are so afraid of being hurt, you cut off people before they can get close. You say they bore you, but that's because you refuse to get to know them, you just dismiss them before they have a chance to get interesting. Find something you're interested in (designing kites/rollerblading/building model airplanes/whatever) then find a group of people who do that. You'll have something in common and be able to relate to them on a superficial level. Then, as you stay with the group, you'll learn that they are people just like you, afraid of being hurt by other people. You'll be able to deepen the friendships and suddenly find that life can be fun and people can be wonderful -- but you have to give them the chance.

Answer 5

Yes, I understand where your coming from,lol It is like you talk to them in a short time and you find that they aren't your equal. Or that they don't beleave in the thing that they beleave. And when you try to ask them why they don't like your way, they refer to what someone else told them, instead of them using there brain. Like they follow people instead of being a leader. And these people are like nail scraping the chalk board. They are free thinkers. It is like they are robots instead of a human. It isn't that your withdrawn, but your dispointed in a lot of people and you fill you wouldn't meet your equal. So most people just settle instead of finding there equal.

Answer 6

Just be yourself.Go out and enjoy life on your own, you will find out people are not all that they are talked up to be. You need to be strong and independent get some hobbies and fallow your dreams and get a high self esteem and learn to love yourself because you are the most important person in life remember that :)

Answer 7

It sounds like you don't like "Small Talk". Get into a real conversation and you are right there, correct?

You are probable with the wrong class of people. Look for people more like yourself to be your friends. You need smarter folks.

Answer 8

Just go out with your friends to the mall or something and if you don't like stay the way you are. People will like you either way.

Answer 9

Find a new group of people to hang with. If you are compfortable witht he poeple around you then it will be easy to talk to them and initiate conversations.

Answer 10

I laugh when people say be urself. truthfully, being yourself may be the problem.. you might have a chemical imbalance. it would be a good idea to seek couseling