2006-07-11 13:45:46 · 12 answers · asked by Shyne_06 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
You have to know what lent is in religion to get this joke....but it is funny.
okay,,, this guy would go into a bar every Friday and have order 3 shots (drinks). He would drink them all one after the other. One day the bartender got curious and asked "Hey, every Friday you come in here and order 3 drinks- how come?" ....The man says " Well, I come from (''you fill in a country") and I miss my father and my brother, we use to go out for drinks every Friday. So every Friday I have (1) drink for my father, (1) drink for my brother and (1) drink for me." ""Oh" said the bartender.. Time passed and one day the man order only 2 drinks. "Only two drinks?" asked the bartender. "Yeah, 2 drinks" said the man and went and sat in his usual seat. .....(poor guy thought the bartender...one of his family members must have died) ...two Fridays past and the bartender decided to ask: "So, which one died, your father or your brother?"...."No one died -why do you ask?" ......The bartender says "Well, now you only order 2 drinks- so I thought someone died.'......."NO NO, said the man (1) drink is for my father and (1) drink is for my brother......I GAVE UP DRINKING FOR LENT!".........ha ha ha ha ha!..................have know others but this one came to mind!
2006-07-11 14:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A blonde joke:
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN
SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
I love this blonde joke:
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
A blonde a brunette and a red head are running from the police(you can make up anything of what they are running from) they find a barn to hide in. the brunette hides behind cows, the redhead hides behing pigs, and the blonde hides behing a pile of potatoes. after a few mintutes the police come into the barn to see if they are in their. here is what they said
Police: Who's behind the cows?
Brunette: MOOO!!!
Police: Who's Behind the Pigs?
Red HEad: OINK!!!
Police: Who's Behind the potatoes?
Blonde: PO-TA-TOE!!!
the blonde s then arrested and sent to jail
2006-07-11 20:59:19 · answer #2 · answered by Gothic Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
2006-07-11 20:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mr T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
New Rules In Hell
A man dies and goes to Hell, where he is greeted by the Devil.
The man looks around and sees no fire or people being tortured, nothing uncomfortable, and asks, "where is all the horrible things that Hell has to offer me? I might as well get started now".
The Devil says, " Things have changed down here".
He asks the man, "Do you like to drink alcohol?"
"Oh, Yes!" replied the man, with a big smile.
"Well you are in luck", Says the Devil, "because on Mondays there is drinking all day, anything that you want"
"Wow, that's sounds great", the man says.
"How about sex? Do you like sex?" the Devil asks.
The man replys, "Love sex, just never could get enough".
The Devil replys, "Well we will take care of that little problem, we have sex all day on Tuesday".
The smile continues to grow wider on the mans face.
He is then asked if he had any homosexual tendancies.
"Absolutely not!", he says emphatically, "I can't stand queers!"
The Devil smiles at him and says, "You are really going to hate Wednesdays then."
2006-07-13 02:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the funniest songs ive ever heard is a Yo momma joke and it went like this Yo Momma so fat whan she jump in a pool its like atidle wave. Ha HA!
2006-07-11 20:48:28 · answer #5 · answered by charday_bonner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the joke goes like this...
a teacher and a stuent were talking about whales.
student: did you know that whales can eat humans?
teacher: that's impossible!
s: no it isn't.
t: even though the whale is the largest mammal, it actually has a small throat..
s: i know that a whale can eat a human.
t: it's physically impossible.!
s: ok, when i go to heaven, ill ask JONAH(from the bible).
t: what if he went to hell?
s: then you go ask him!
funny ryt??
2006-07-11 21:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by charmed_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Headline: George Bush voted President!!!!!!
2006-07-11 20:49:02 · answer #7 · answered by ruby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids doing housework
2006-07-11 20:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont lions eat clowns ?
2006-07-11 20:50:51 · answer #9 · answered by M&T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so many i can't begin telling you
2006-07-11 20:47:34 · answer #10 · answered by sidekickLX! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋