Should I give him a chance or avoid him?

Question

I met a guy online a few months back and had mixed feelings when I met him. He seemed nice and stuff and I have been alone with him and he was a gentlemen. I can't say that I am attracted to him but he seems very nice and is considerate and I wanted to give him a chance. However he never wants to go on a date, it's always I will come over and get you and we can go to my house (50 miles away) to watch tv. I would really prefer to go out somewhere in my town. I thought he had given up but he contacted me a week back and I agreed to go out with him again. But now he is talking about coming to get me (I don't have transpportation) and take me over to his house to watch a movie. I don't like the sound of this and he says he hopes I am confortable with him enought now to let him hug me and stuff. I told him that he is making me uncomfortable but it doens't seem to change . I am not ready to have a guy I barely know cuddling with me. It's just too early. What shoudl I do?

I can understand that as a guy who hasn't been in a relationslhip in quite awhile and probably not had sex (he's relatively new in town) in awhile that he wants to get physical as soon as possible. I am not looking to do that because I want to get married first. I have gotten into sexual relationships too early before and found that it the relationship went no where. I think if that is his primary concern he should get a hooker or something because I am not going to jump in bed with him.

I have been to his house and stuff and he isn't dangerous, he is actually a sweet guy but he seems to have no interest in going out and having fun. He is always home afterwork watching tv and stuff. He has enought money and stuff as he wants to go out and buy steaks to barbecue and stuff but he seems to want to be alone and cozy and well it's too early for that

Answer 1

Nah, don't do it. Why? Because you would be a prisoner at his house, not easily able to leave given the fact you will be so far away and without your own car. So instead maybe you can educate him on nice things to do in your part of the world. Maybe you could invite him for lunch or dinner on a weekend or some outing in a park.

Answer 2

You should avoid this situation like the plague and run like hell! change your phone number, avoid all contact, whatever it takes to keep yourself safe. There is a reason you feel uncomfortable but there is also a reason he has only taken you on a first "date" to his house (and 50 miles away to watch TV?) and wants to make your second "date" a 50 mile trek to his house... he wants you secluded and alone and it would probably end very badly for you. If you really want to give him a chance, let him drive the 50 miles, take you out on a real date in a PUBLIC place and get to know him better before you do anything else. You can never be too cautious and your safety and well-being should be your first priority. Be careful!

Answer 3

I am glad that you are thinking this out and listening to "your common sense". You are answering you own question, just by the way you asked it! Have you told him you would rather go out?
Guys do not want to hug, that is a [guy] word for get it on, or use physical closeness to stimulate them sexually! What is this stuff anyway? Since you are not attracted to this man, do not lead computer geeks on! On the off chance he is a physcho, why bother? Listen to your inner signals and get a job, or get out more, and meet people that are interested in the same things you are! TV and movies is very boring, I'd rather go out too! You have a voice tell him, its not like that for you! You would rather go out than stay in! Stop with the victim stuff too! Get a car so you don't have to depend on others for your social life!
Good luck and don't get chopped up by a computer physcho!

Answer 4

Just cut it off. I hate that he knows how to get to your house- I'm hoping you don't live alone in case things were to get ugly since you don't really know this man. But it doesn't sound like you extremely interested anyways, and you can't force yourself to love someone. I'd find someone w/ some of the same interests as you (going out and doing things, etc) and gently let this guy down. Tell him the distance isn't working or something.

Answer 5

Sounds like it's not going to work out. :(

If he can meet you half way, in both distance and patience, then maybe you have a chance, but that does not look like it will happen.

I would tell him not to bother picking you up. That way you don't get put in an uncomfortable situation. Then ask if you can meet at a public place. If he refuses, then say, Bye! and find a new fellow.

Answer 6

That sounds a little fishy. If he refuses to go on a date then he is probably up to something. You dont know if very well so it is not wise to go over to his house by yourself. I would stay very very far away. Its better to not trust someone you dont know .

Answer 7

If you are uncomfortable you need to end it. Don't put yourself in a situation where you feel compromised, especially in this situation, where you could get hurt.
If you are still interested in getting to know him, you should insist on meeting him somewhere public.

Answer 8

Be careful! Don't be alone with this guy. Arrange to meet him in public places and spend several hours in conversation with him on several different occassions until you really know what his motives are,etc.

Answer 9

go with your gut instinct because women are really good at that
it does sound a little weird and be careful becausei knew a girl who met a man online and met up with him a couple times and he sed hell come pick her up too...
i wont tell you what happened ill leave that to you to figure out
BE CAREFUL

Answer 10

Sounds like you know how to take care of yourself. He does sound odd. Don't go anywhere with him. He shouldn't ask you out of town.