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My 15 and 13 year old children are refusing to listen,I have tryed everything and they swear and threaten and run away and totally refuse to listen.Short of calling Social services we have tried everything.What should I do?

2006-07-11 12:53:29 · 27 answers · asked by duckyman204 2 in Family & Relationships Family

27 answers

Honestly? You are the parent! They are the children! When we lived with my parents, there was NO WAY we would disobey them. They made it very clear that we lived under their roof, so we followed their rules. And I tried that whole "running away" thing when I was 16. Guess what? I was right back home about 3 days after sleeping in my car! Follow my parents rules were a joy compared to sleeping in a cold car that was low on gas and me trying to live off sugar cookies I swiped when I visited my grandmother (who told me "I just don't have room for you honey"). If they threaten to run away, tell them "have fun trying to find food to eat, buy new clothes, or even put gas in your car." And seriously start cutting them off from EVERYTHING. Tell them "You think it's bad now? Try going the next two weeks without... television, telephone, internet, going to movies, hanging out with friends..." whatever it important to them! A lot of people don't think this works, but believe me when I say it does. We ALWAYS respected my parents authority b/c they made it understood that they had authority. Last but certainly not least, be sure YOU'RE setting a good example. You can't tell your kids not to use profanity, then say four-letter words in every other sentence. Try instilling in them some Bible principles and good common sense. If they still don't come around after a few weeks of "tough love" I would seriously consider seeing a counselor. ABOVE ALL ELSE... BE CONSISTENT!!! If you discipline them for something wrong once, but allow them to get away with it the second time around, you are giving them mixed signals. Children must be trained because it is ONLY through example that people truly learn.

Good luck!

2006-07-11 13:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by fragglerockqueen 5 · 1 0

If they are threatening to run away try to take them to a scared straight program and let them see what happens to children that don't listen to their parents if that doesn't work try restricting phone calls and friends from coming over. But first try talking to your children about their behavior if none of this works give them an old fashion butt whipping maybe then they will know that they are still children and they have to go by your rules. another thing don't give them what they want when they want it make them earn their way around the house it's hard for us Parents but tough love can go a long way.

2006-07-11 20:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0 0

If they were my kids I would introduce them to the belt !! I got it when I was growing up and there is no law saying you can`t hit your kids you just can`t leave marks. That`s what`s wrong with kids today parents don`t want the kids to hate them so they don`t discipline the way they should be. Not saying that beating on your kids is the answer all the time but they sure think twice if you bust that a s s with a belt after telling 2 or 3 times and then they get that attitude like make me. And cursing at you !!! Man if I did that to my parents growing up and I was 15 I wouldn`t get the belt my dad would kick my a s s. He say if you think your a man then you better be able to fight like one. Tear those a s s e s up!!!!!

2006-07-11 20:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 0 0

remind them that you control their social lives and that if they cannot respect you then they will have no social lives. If they keep swearing at you send them to their rooms and take away one day of phone time for every swear word that they use. I have 6 children and my oldest daughter threatened to run away on a daily basis until I put my foot down, one day she told me she was going to pack her bags so I told her to go ahead and that I would drive her to juvenile hall so she could see what a hard life she had. when i refused to back down she shut her mouth, you do not have to tolerate bad behavior from your children but respect must be mutual, you must respect them and yourself for this to work, If all fails call children's services maybe a reality check will straighten them up. Good Luck!!!

2006-07-11 20:10:43 · answer #4 · answered by osu2720@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0 0

I would suggest that if they have gotten to this age and you are having problems,you have had a problem that should have been dealt with 15 1/2 years ago. It is totally a sign of poor parenting if you have let it get to this point.

2006-07-11 22:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by nidan 4 · 0 0

Your kids want to be heard and seen. As a rebelious teen myself, I can attest to that. All I ever wanted from my dad was for him to talk to me like a person. Use active listening techniques (not to the point of being stupid), but just have a heart to heart with them. Call a family meeting and incorporate your kids into your life. Let them know that things will change...i.e. no more swearing. Let them talk. Kids can talk for hours and hours, maybe you will be a little bored, but at least you will know what's going on in their lives and it will make it easier to live with them.

2006-07-11 20:00:56 · answer #6 · answered by chickpea 3 · 0 0

I have had the same problem with my brother for over 7 years (he's 20 now) I have learned to cope with it. We have tried everything. I suggest taking away their luxuries, money, and everything else. If they run-away...let them...its time for you to think about yourself...I hope they will come around and realize how much they hurt you. In my case, he still hasnt and I dont think he every will. Good luck and God Bless

2006-07-11 20:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by pwrbymustang 1 · 0 0

Enforce discipline, demand to be the one in charge, and spank if necessary. No, wait...... You should have been doing that when they were 5 and 3.
It's too late, now, mom, you already screwed up. The only thing you can do now is ask to go on Oprah and tell your story to everybody else of how not to do it. There is nothing you can do now. Game over.

2006-07-11 19:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Best thing here to do is to Set the ground rules with both of them present. Make sure that you follow through with them and let each of them know the consequences if they do not. Be strong and they will understand.

We were all teens at one point in our lives and we know how difficult it was... so it is only human nature to let them know as well.

2006-07-11 20:07:06 · answer #9 · answered by snorkelman_37 5 · 0 0

Whoop their asses.You are the parent not the child. How you gone let someone you brought into the world terrorize and run your house? Whatever you tell them they better start listening or beat the message into them.

2006-07-11 20:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by Daddy's girl 2 · 0 0

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