Can i have some advice?

Question

my mom and dad seperated when i was a baby and then when i was 3 my mom married someone else. i went on my life calling him dad, but also knowing i had another dad somewhere. i want to have a better relashonship with my bio. dad, but its hard because he has 2 other kids and a wife and a demanding job. i only see him during the summer, sometimes not even that. i want to talk to him about how i feel, but im scared. i also want to know why they seperated in the first place. please help!

Answer 1

Alot of people will recommend that you talk to your father about this and they are partially right.
I would take the time to send him an email with your questions, It is not always comfortable to speak face to face about such emotional issues, However when you are alone with your keyboard it is much easier to express yourself without the uneasiness that often gets in the way when confronted directly.
I hope this helps, Good luck.

Answer 2

You need to unload... You sound like you've been bottling up a lot of feelings through the years...
When you get a chance tell your Dad you need to have a serious heart to heart talk with him... Just the two of you... maybe somewhere like a park or a quiet place to eat... Tell him you are in no rush , but to just try and schedule some time alone with you... He will understand...
Then when it happens, take a deep breath and let everything you've been holding on the inside flow out... it will be good for both your Dad and you... Don't be scared... Remember he is your Dad and I'm sure he wants the best for you... Good Luck...

Answer 3

I know how you feel, I was in the same boat at one time. Know this, what you want, doesn't always come true. Its not you, it could be your dad and mom's relationship causes you to suffer because they can't get along. You may remind him of your mom too much or his wife may be on him about leaving his past behind. There are too many things that could be going on to mention here.

Bottom line, hopefully time cures all. In time you may have the opportunity to establish a better rapport with your dad, or maybe never. The main thing for you to do is be the best person you can be and if the opportunity ever becomes available, take advantage of it. But, don't be miserable and waste valuable time waiting for something that may not happen for many years.

TX Guy

Answer 4

Aly, hey girl whats up? Seems like you have a lot on your mind....
tell you what, obvious you have contact with your bio dad, so
schedule a brunch, lunch or dinner date with him. Tell him that
you really want some quality time with him and you would appreciate if it was the two of you. See how he feels about that. If he says yes, bring him flowers. Let him know that you appreciate the relationship you have now and you would like to continue it. k l8rs

Answer 5

Well maybe you can sit down with your mom and ask her what happened. Just because the man you called da all your life isnt blood doesnt mean he is not your real dad. It is fine to wanna know your blood dad. Just remeber who has beent here for you all of these years and why didnt your dad ever try to find you or try to stay in your life.

Answer 6

Miss. This is Rick. I am 57. I know a little about Pigeon's. Listen up, please. Love has no Alpha_no Omega. No end _ "" beginning. You do what your Heart tells you, the rest will fall - in place or somewhere else. Irrespective of your desire is the desire to please others. Will your pursuit please him? If your inward voice is OH YEAH. Go. If you need to think about it. Don't, Just GO. Now, one last innuendo. Things happen, you know thous Heck, you did right?! So as was once said by a great historical figure I admire - "Well then; let's finish it, Doc" THE LAST RIDE OF OUR IMMORTALS? LOVE IS IMMORTAL TRY AND FINISH IT AND YOU WILL LIVE WITHIN THE GRIP OF LOVE FOR ETERNITY.
GOD BLESS YOU BABY.
RJ

Answer 7

Be there for her and attempt to get her to talk including her mum and dad... by employing her chatting with them supplies her extra thoughts on wether or no longer she needs to keep it or maybe adoption she has extra thoughts now than she will later. Her mum and dad will locate out eventually purely make efficient that's now to not late. And be a strong chum and attempt to help/handbook her to make the options she needs and by no potential what absolutely everyone "needs" her to do because she am has to administration it later on in existence no remember what she decides... and prefer the lady in the previous suggested her mum and dad will develop to the perception and certain there's conceivable they are going to loose it regardless of the indisputable fact that the received't harm her or the toddler. So inspire her to make her judgements which will earnings her contained in the accurate.

Answer 8

I think it is perfectly natural to ask these questions. However, if your step dad raised you and is good to you, he is your real dad. Please don't let your desire to know your bio dad hurt the father that raised you.

I think you should talk to your Mom respectfully about why they separated, it is okay to ask. But you have to respect your Mom if she doesn't want to answer, this is probably hard for her too. If she doesn't answer, ask your dad respectfully.

As for getting to know your dad better, I would definitely let him know. He needs to hear this from you, maybe if talking to him is too hard you can write him.

Good luck!

Answer 9

write a letter to your mum and dad separately and write everything down as we do tend to forget every thing that we wanted to know at the time when we do have ones attention.it takes 2 to have a relationship.you have done your part after that & the rest is up to them. if you don't find the answers what an exerllent kid you grew up to be. just make sure you don't repeat history & do it to your own kids, good luck.

Answer 10

Just ask him. I know that's easy for me to say but honestly there is no other way to deal with it. Find your inner strength because these are questions you deserve an answer for.