their father was abusive to them when we all lived together. They hate going there, but the court decreed that they must. What should I do? Should I make them go? Other than alot of yelling, they tell me he is no longer abusive.
2006-07-11 12:28:02 · 5 answers · asked by Skye7112 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First, due to the divorce decree, you have no choice but to let them go or be in contempt of court. Second, if the kids come back with some horror story, you can repetition the courts,on the grounds of abuse, that there be supervised only visitations. Now this can really open a can of worms as if you accuse him on your childs word with no real proof (hearsay), he can and probably will come back at you with harassment or other charges stating that you are just out to ruin him in your kids eyes, see the picture....without real, hopefully documented proof you have to by law abide to your divorce decree. good luck
2006-07-11 12:39:14 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you make sure your children know what to do if anything else were to ever happen without giving them the idea that it might.
I would also suggest that you think twice about getting married and having more children. Any problems your children are having now or had before is a direct consequence of YOUR actions, not theirs. Other people, especially children, should not have to pay for the mistakes of others.
Even if you can't change what's already happened you can prevent anything else from happening again. It's not just abuse, it's the leaving for the summer, treating children like property, instability of any kind- another marriage, regardless of what you may think can only complicate the situation. It doesn't matter how lonely you feel or what you want anymore, what you wanted caused enough damage.
Dismiss any ideas of another marriage until they are old enough to accept it or out of the house. What your question asks is exactly what happened to me as a child and I haven't spoken to either my mother or father for well over ten years as a result. I resent them both and will never forgive them. Your children may, but don't take advantage of it. Put your own selfish wants and needs on the back shelf and live for your kids. If nothing else, you should be ashamed of yourself. It doesn't matter that your ex-husband was the abusive one. You decided to marry him.
2006-07-11 19:48:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let them go. Take this time for yourself. I know how hard it is. I have the same feelings when my kids go to dads. Only his way of abusing them is making bad comments about me. They usually get borred when they are there and want to come home early anyways. Call up all of your friends and have a lot of girls nights out. Take weekend trips, and go shopping. You need this time for youself. You can always try and work it out so you have to pick up your kids early. Thats what I usually do. I usually try and talk him into letting me get the early.
have a nice 2 weeks, and try and not worry about your kids.
2006-07-11 19:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by LO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a court order you have to send them or he can call the police and make you send them.. You just need to tell your kids to call you if something goes on, if they are young teach them your phone number.. I know it sucks but we all had to go through this..
2006-07-11 19:32:29 · answer #4 · answered by 9929 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try once,if your kids are unwilling,again approach the court and get their custody
2006-07-12 03:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by dharap123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋