other than help build her self esteem and telling her to ignore them how do I handle a situation where my 8 year old daughter feels as though other girls are talking about her behind her back? ( or behind their hands as they are looking at her)
Do I approach their teacher and ask her to let them know that they are not being discreet and that their actions are affecting others?
These girls are also on her netball team and seem to only throw the ball at each other even though my daughter (and others) are in the best position.
Any advice from other parents who have gone through the same thing?
2006-07-11 12:25:54 · 17 answers · asked by tjrj23 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks everybody for your input I am getting some great ideas.
The girls in question are basically good kids and ao are their parents, I just want to handle the problem as tactfully as possible so that no one gets offended. Also so that these kids behaviour does not become worse.
Pesky Wabbit, its because I love my daughter so much that I am on here asking for advice. I was hoping to get advice from people who had experience with this problem and how they dealt with it, not abuse and being accused of being a bad parent because I happen to use this forum to find an answer. You did not offer any constructive help other that glean yourself 2 points.
2006-07-11 13:09:59 · update #1
I'm an assistant principal at a primary school, and what you are describing is really common. The crummy thing is, almost all girls go through it. The teacher probably won't be able to do a whole lot other than speak with the kids, but it is a place to start. If the kids involved have done this stuff before, maybe the teacher will make a parent contact. As for your daughter, I don't know what her school offers, but my school has a "group" called "Good to Be Me." This on is just for girls (there is a boy one too), and it is about building self-esteem and showing comapssion and stuff like that. It teaches them that they can't change other people's behavior, but they can change how they react to behavior. The kids go twice a week for six weeks, and it sort of helps kids through that sort of stuff. Maybe her school has something like that, too.
2006-07-11 12:34:28 · answer #1 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YES..YES..YES!!! Absolutely approach her teacher and the netball coach. It will do your daughter a world of good to see that you care enough about her concerns to address them. Of course, do it tactfully and discreetly. I would suggest having a meeting with the teacher, the coach, your daughter and you...allowing your daughter to talk freely and describe the situation and how it makes her feel. If the teacher and coach are any good at their profession, they'll see that the troublemakers' behavior could potentially lead to a bullying situation with not only your daughter but others in her class as well and nip it in the bud before it escalates to that level. My daughter had a similiar situation and I addressed it immediately and I honestly believe it is why she comes to me about everything now that she's a pre-teen...being there for her and showing my support for her feelings really strengthened our bond. Just remember, you're gonna feel like hanging the girls up by their toenails but just remain tactful and professional about it. Good luck to you and your daughter.
2006-07-11 12:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by AverageMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the teacher,tell her what is going on and have her observe.Then call for a meeting with the parents of all involved.After the meeting with the parents there should be a meeting with parents and students.If at all possible video the game and the actions being done.Then there can be no denial! Those type actions if left unchecked can cause those mean little girls to be even meaner adults!
2006-07-11 12:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others, talk to the teacher & ask her ways she thinks the problem can be solved. If you talk to the parents of the other girls they will porbably get defensive & that will just create more problems.
yes there are bullies in the world & they are that way
either to get attention or to fit in, but if STOPPED &
CORRECTED when they are young there is a
GREAT chance that they won't continue to be this
way as they get older. Hope this helps
Street Smarts also makes a movie for kids called Bully Smart it gives tips on what to do if approached by a bully
2006-07-11 12:59:09 · answer #4 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get together with the other girls' parents and the actual girls who are doing this to your daughter, and just have a big ol' friendly discussion to get down to the root ot the problem.
If they are all together and being questioned in front of your daughter and their moms, they will fess up to something probably insignificant in an adults eyes (like she said I was this or she wore pink to school on green day or whatever) any ways hope everything works itself out and they become friends
2006-07-11 12:31:31 · answer #5 · answered by Kryztal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may not want to read it because im 16 but you should confront the coach of the netball team because there is no reason, no body else but those girls are touching the ball. But people are going to talk behind each others back because thats life. So just keep telling your daughter to dont worry about it.
2006-07-11 12:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by realpleya08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your daughter work it out herself. Don't get involved. That would just send her a message that she is weak and needs her mom to handle her problems. Not a good thing. Dealing with bullies is a part of life. The sooner she learns to deal with them on her own the better off she will be. Sometimes it's hard to watch your children go through things like this, but the best thing to do is let them know you have confidence in their ability to overcome these things by themselves.
2006-07-11 12:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by curiousgeorgia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get another one or more of her friends together
(have a party?) and get their opinions on what is happening. Maybe their parents too. Then formulate the right plan, there is strength in numbers. After a while, your daughter will have enough friends where she probably will feel strong enough not to even care about those others.
2006-07-11 12:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some kids are going to be jerks no matter what you (or the teacher ) say to them. Try to find other kids that do get along with your daughter and emphasize the positive relationship she has with them. It's a difficult concept for an 8 year old to understand, but it not her loss, it's the others.
also - don't forget to let her know that you love her, and she's important to you
2006-07-11 12:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by Tom S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your daughter tells you stuff about school don't downplay it. It's okay for her to be hurt and angry. It's hard to ignore bullies. Validate her feelings and let her know she doesn't have to be hurt by those kids.Tell the teacher what is going on. Your daughter really needs to deal with the situation herself. You getting too involved may make the situation worse.
2006-07-11 12:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋