I'm pregnant but have just split up from my boyfriend?

Question

I'm 8 months pregnant but have just split up from my partner. I think he may have been seeing others as he does not spend much time with me. He always said he loved me etc and i really thought he did. But now he says he doesn't want to be a father and his phones always swicthed off. I think I should have seen the signs a long time ago and now I feel silly in front of my family. I feel used. I don't think I want him involved at all or want his money so, do you think I should up sticks and move?

Answer 1

Hi honey, I am sorry to hear of your circumstances. Some men (indeed some women) are so very stupid and insensitive. I hate to think you kinda blame yourself and feel foolish - DON'T because you cannot possibly legislate for the vagaries of human behaviour. Please do not distance yourself from your loving family as they may seem annoyed but the object of their frustration is the fella, not you sweetheart! Do not leave the family behind simply to distance yourself from the fella, as this would ultimately be damaging to you.

Take care honey.

Answer 2

At 8 months you need to stay strong for your baby. Don't fret over your boyfriend; it's useless and not healthy. You may feel silly in front of your family but I'm sure there's someone who would be able to help you getting things together. Don't be afraid to ask.
Unless you plan to move to someplace where you are guaranteed some help, don't...at least not yet.
Analyze the situation and decide on what's best for you and especially the baby. I assume you're a grown woman and can make that decision. All the best.

Answer 3

first off im sorry fro you hun, i went through same thing except my bloke dint dump me til i'd popped the sprog but treated me like crap until then!

you need to bear in mind this is an emotional time for you, and very tiring and draining for you boht physically and mentally.... so dont make any rash decisions.
if he has acted this way then you are better off without him, at least you know where you stand before the baby comes along..

get in touch with CSA and get child support off him, it takes two to tango and he should support the child whether he wants to be part of its life or not, i know you said you dont want his money but babies are not cheap hun, nappies, etc... it all adds up so take money from him...

dont move as then what about your family? you are a single mum now so you will need all the support you can get, which may sound scary but sometimes its nice to have a break and a sleep from your baby......
remember you are not weak to ask for help, you are a human!

congratulations on the baby by the way and sorry it cant be a happier time for you
good luck hun x :)

Answer 4

Honey, men do stupid things and some day he will regret this lousy decision.

In the mean time love the child you have.

Children need a mom in their life more than they need a father for the first few years.

My daughter was in a situation much like yours.
My granddaughter kept asking to see her father. Finally after a few months of searching and years apart.

They got back together again and last Nov. they were married. My granddaughter how is now 6 years old is the happiest little girl I have ever seen.

I pray your situation will have a happy ending to it too.
In the mean time...
Love that baby like it is no other person on earth.

Answer 5

I am VERY sorry for your loss.

But he is no longer JUST your boy-friend or EX-boy-friend, as you are now calling him. He is the father of your child........and you cannot change that......even if you wish REALLY hard.

So........since you are just becoming a Mom you'll need to begin to act like one........NOW.

File the necessary papers to require him to pay HIS child CHILD-SUPPORT. You may require a DNA test if he refuses to admit the child is his. This money is not for you it is for HIS child. You are not to spend this money for yourself and your life-style....the money will be paid to you for HIS child's bills and food and education. Even if you can afford to ignore his contribution I suggest you go through with the legal stuff to nail down his visitation rights, etc.......so you'll know what to expect if/when he ever DOES decide to see HIS child.

Of course the baby is yours, also......I'm not implying that you would be anything but a wonderful Mom and the main influence on this child's development. It's just that now you cannot up and leave with someone elses baby without explaining to the father and a court what your plans are.


Again, I'm sorry........maybe this mess will look better in the future than it does now.

But get the child's money from the child's daddy and put it in the bank for the future. That child is gonna NEED it.

Answer 6

I can understand how you feel.....but if he is the father of your child he has responsibilities and you will need your family around you when the baby is born. sit tight.......I think he is running scared. Whatever he says.....he will be curious about the baby and sooner or later he will want to see his baby. If he has been seeing someone else it could just be escapism, as the reality of having a child and being a father is too much for him. I'm not saying that is right, of course, but try and wait it out and don't move away. Best of luck!

Answer 7

This is a very difficult subjec to deal wih and, even if you don't want the fathers involvement, unless he agrees, that may not be possible. It would be unwise to refuse agreeing to settle on some kind of money to pay for your childs upkeep at this time and I suggest you seek out your local family planning councilor for further advice. If you wish to have just a friendly cha to someone about it, lt me know.

Answer 8

Why should you have to move and loose all your friends and family ,

Stand tall and keep your chin up ,show him you can cope on your own and as for not wanting his money get all you can out of him bringing up a child is not cheap and its no walk in the park so staying where you have friends and family would make sense for now plus it will show his Friends and family what a total **** he is

good luck and don't take any ****

Answer 9

yes move away from him. he sounds like a little school boy.
What ever anyone here says it's your life and you have to do what is right for you.
It sounds to me like you are without a doubt better off without him.
If his phone is off are you sure it is off and he has not simply changed his number or just blocked yours?
i'd suggest moving in with your mom for awhile after the birth of your child if you are able, just to get a little support, as you will be a single mom your life will be VERY hard, but you know that.

you have to decide what is right for you. deep down you already know what the decission is. I think you are just hoping for someone on here to confirm what you know and or feel.

you need someone professional to talk to about this.

i hope all works out for you. good luck.

Answer 10

forget all the csa stuff for a minute...that comes later DO NOT move babe as all ur friends and family will understand ur predicament regardless of how u feel embarrassed etc...which may i say is ridiculous to feel that way! All ur mates and relative will be vital to ur initial survival as a new baby brings alot of stress etc and support is the key. stay where u are, stand firm and i promise u will be fine. good luck babe and remember one thing.....u r strong and will cope.xxxXXXxxx