im goin to a girls house that i met at the gym friday, but i have mental health probs what will i do?

Question

ive been goin to the gym and swimmin for over a month and half now, i met a girl weeks ago there an we got on and i got her number, we been texting each other, she phoned me a couple of times i phoned her. since we been chatting i suggested i come round to her place .sometime and bring some films and some of her favourite wine which she told me she likes. however im panicking because, i currently deal with, no self esteem, high anxiety and panick attacks, racing thoughts and forgetting, inner anger, plus i have a tendancy to be co dependant, clingy, act eager, be possessive, and im just wondering what im gonna do how im gonna handle it? i go this friday. plus im going through a very stressful situation at this time in my life, relating to where i live, and high levels of noise all the time and antisocial youths. so im trying to move. i have alot on my f***ing plate. please help someone.

Answer 1

you must act yourself and you were friendly with this person why don't you go when you are feeling up to it and can be in a friendly mood. But only stay for a while not too long, tell her that you have problems and cannot always make it but will try your best.

Answer 2

Sounds like you've been pretty slick so far. Just keep doing your thing, she seems to be digging it. If there's something you do to deal with your problems, do it before you go. then enjoy the film, and the wine, and maybe even the girl.

That said, imagine for a minute, what's the worst that can happen? Now imagine the best thing that can happen. I'd guess things are heading a bit closer to the "best" thing side.

Specific problems...

No self esteem: Well, you're doing better in the dating scene than I am right now if that helps any. Girls tend to prefer guys with good self esteem, so maybe she doesn't consider this to be a problem for you. I'm no shrink, so I can't fix it, but it sounds like this won't be an issue for your outing.

High anxiety and panic attacks: Don't really want any of those going on. Then again, what's so stressful about having a nice movie with some wine and a beautiful woman. If something happens, just keep your mouth shut. Snuggling with a little lady always makes me calm down.

Racing Thoughts and forgetting: Remember the wine, the movie, her name, and the time to be there. I don't think too much else will matter, so long as you're not in a hurry to drive home while you're still drunk.

Inner anger: Every man has a little moster hiding inside him. There's not too much to be angry about with a woman around though... unless she kicks you out. In that case, just bite it in, and leave quietly. If it keeps nagging at you, and you feel up to it, maybe ask her about it some time at the gym. If you think you'll say, or do something stupid, then ignore her. If she says something, tell her you're not ready to talk about it, or leave and change gyms.

Co dependant, clingy, eager, and possessive: these issues don't usually become a major problem on the first date. Just don't pressure her for sex, leave when the time comes, and talk to her about another date next time you meet at the gym if things go well.

Stressful situations: Youths will always be antisocial. At least you won't have to deal with the same ones at her place, and hopefully the level of noise will be less. Enjoy the time off. If she falls asleep, you can let your mind race about possibly moving somewhere more peaceful (maybe even her place...)

As a side note, people with a lot of issues tend to attract other people with a lot of issues, so she may be a total freak. That can be really good for the first date, and either good for complimentary therapy later on, or not so great in the long run. Don't worry about future dates at all until this one's over though. Just hang out, and try to enjoy whatever happens. you deserve a little happiness,so F*** your problems, and get it now while the gettings good.

Answer 3

You need to get counseling and possible medication. Sometimes it's our perception of things that is causing the stress and not the situations we are in.All you can do is one thing at a time. Don't use your time with her to dump your whole life's story. It's just a date. Try practicing more listening than talking from your end, If your counselor or other practitioner hasn't been effective, then switch to one you have better rapport with. Relax and enjoy the experience. Use slow breathing techniques. If you feel you cannot keep the date at this time, tell her another day would be better.One problem at a time and remember that things have always worked out. You are in my thoughts.

Answer 4

If you are dealing with these severe symptoms and aren't seeing a doctor, therapist, psychologist, etc - I suggest you go see one. There are medications that can help with your panic attacks and high anxiety - which will make you feel much better.
Just be calm when you are with her and enjoy yourself. Don't stay too long and don't think of her as your girlfriend - just think of her as a friend to hang around with, at least for the time being - this way you won't get too clingy too fast.

Answer 5

When you go over to her house, just try to be yourself. Try not to let the little things bother you. If you tell her what you're dealing with in your personal life, she may be understanding of that. You'll more than likely get the feel, depending on the mood of things. Anyway, being co-dependent is what a relationship is all about, isn't it? Good luck, hope all goes well!!

Answer 6

If you really like her so far, don't screw it up by obsessing over your mental "issues." Everyone has issues and quirks, so just relax.
Literally......relax. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or the "date." Just view it as 2 adults hanging out. Don't stress or panic.
Don't allow your living situation or the people you live with to change or affect who YOU are or how you act towards women. Be YOU, relax, and everything else should fall into place.

Answer 7

Dude!! I got the exact same problems!! I also tend to overanalyze everything like a woman, not sure if you got that problem too. lol

I really can't offer any sane advice to you since it'd be like one blind man asking another blind man if he sees a sign on a street. But I'll try anyways. Try to remember that she digs you because she agreed to meet with you. There must be something she sees in you that she likes so (I know it's hard) try your best to be yourself. Don't be anyone else, except you. I know, I know, it's a little...vague, and that I "don't really understand" what you're going through, but it's hard to put into words because, again, one blind man asking another blind man, right? I wish you the best of luck, brother. If you have any questions or just want to relate something, e-mail me. [e-mail]

Answer 8

Why not meet a coffee shop instead of her house? It would be more neutral and alot less stressful. Do you take tranquilizers? Perhaps you could take one before you go. I hope you intend to tell her all about your mental problems. The sooner the better.

Answer 9

Drink before you go, it'll calm you down, just dont get drunk. And no driving right? Let her figure you out for herself, my hubby got a good look at my emotional distress while being my friend, and we've been together for tweleve years......
All I'm sayin is just relax and be your self, even if you have to consume a little acohol before hand to due so. Good luck!

Answer 10

She knows for sure that you are an outcast and mentally ill. She has chosen to keep you for a love slave. She knows the relationship may blow up at any moment . For you... she might teach you the secrets that you don't even guess are out there so be happy and be quiet.