My mother is the best mother that I know but just a few days ago she just told me that I have a different father from my siblings.I am now 26 and I don't know how to feel.
2006-07-11 11:39:32 · 15 answers · asked by aliciay2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just feel like what ever her reason for keeping this from you it was done out of love and try to look at it from her point of view. At some point she felt you would be a better person thinking otherwise, and I am sure she was probably right. Her reason for finally telling you now must have been the hardest thing to ever tell you. What a woman she must be to have the type of love for you that she tried to protect you from a truth she thought would hurt you. How brave to finally tell you the truth! Hug your mom today and hope you can love your children enough to be able to lie to them if it seemed like the only way to make them better people!
2006-07-11 11:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by dreamsykel 2 · 8⤊ 3⤋
I know that you feel like you've been lied too and may even be mad at your mom. But, it was a different world 26 years ago and perhaps your mom was hurt and perhaps your mom has been trying to protect you and did not want to hurt you. I'm sure that was not a easy thing for your mom to have to tell you.
But, it takes a real man to raise a child. Anyone can make a baby, a sperm donor. A man takes care of his kids, feeds them, clothes them, puts a roof over their heads and loves them. Perhaps this man who is the father of your other siblings even though not your biological father is indeed your real dad. A dad does not have to be a biological father.
2006-07-11 20:50:00 · answer #2 · answered by crash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lucky actually, you have a dad who raised you and was there for you and your mom, and you have a biological father, who -I'm sure your Mom has her reason why! was not part of your life. Your mother told you now, probably thinking that you are marture enough, not to judge her or trust her judgment in this subject-and gave you the opportunity,if you want,you can look up him-but what for? :hey dad,why you did not care about me,like ever? Never gona be a real deep, truefull relationship with him,I'm almost positive. You can keep it touch and have him in your life if you choose that, but you always have to remember, your mom and your "dad" was with you when you have fever,or fall down and broke your arm,or a girl dumped you. They loved you and raised you. They gave you everything what you became. Enjoy it, and don't make bigger deal,then actually it is. Just guessing,million kids grew up without ever know who is their real parents or father-and maybe,just maybe for their god-sake better this way!
2006-07-11 18:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by mrs.blackship 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...and here I thought I was unique to this problem. I found out at 13 y/o that my "Daddy" was not my biological father. I was devastated, and wanted to know WHO my real father was. I was not impressed to say the least when I finally met the biological dude...I was disappointed. This is probably the reason my mom waited so long to tell me.
AllI can tell you is that I absolutely adored the man who raised me until I was 13 y/o. Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a DADDY! I'm now 41 y/o and my "Daddy" passed away 3 years ago. I am left with nothing but good solid memories of a man who loved me and took care of me like his own.
My bio-dude is alive and well, but I have outgrown him and his adolescent ways. He does not know me the way my daddy did...not does he care about my well being and those of his three beautiful grandsons.
Lastly, be proud of who you are and what you have been taught by someone who didn't need to love and care for you but did. Your mom probably thought high and low before breaking the news to you...dont blame her as she was probably young and thought she was doing the right thing.
Best of luck to you. :-)
2006-07-11 18:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by fourcolor4u2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend found at when she was 16 that her father she thought was her biological father turned out to not be and her natural father was someone she didn't even know. She found this out by finding her birth certificate to go get her driver's license. It literally damaged her psyche and it only got worse as her mother refused to speak of him and then through a grandparent found out her bio father was in prison. What a way to find out such personal information. All this did was confirm her feelings that she didn't belong in the family in which she was raised. You may be feeling betrayed but please realize at least she (your mother) has told you. You have options now to seek him out or let matters lay as they are. Ask her why she felt she needed to keep it from you - I would bet her reasons are heartfelt. Please don't judge as you can not know what all happened during the time of your conception and birth. She may have wanted to save you pain but now feels it is something you need to know. She has opened the door and hopefully feels comfortable answering questions you may have - only after the shock settles down and you ask the questions that will occur to you can you start to decide your next actions which will help you decide how you are going to feel. It is ok to not know how to feel as you will work through various stages and emotions - please just accept that you may feel up and down and don't get mad at yourself for feeling confused or angry, just work through it patiently and with your Mom.
2006-07-11 18:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who raised you for the past 26 years?
Donating sperm doesn't make someone a father. The act of sacrificing for and teaching a child is what a father is about. The genetics really doesn't matter (unless your Liv Tyler), it is the person who loved and raised you as his own. Give that man a hug and forget about the sperm donar.
2006-07-11 18:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by Confuscious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man doesn't have to be a sperm doner to be a great father. Be thankful that he loves you and your Mother to raise you with no difference!
2006-07-11 19:11:44 · answer #7 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldnt matter. You and your siblings still had/have the same mother. Id be real curious as to why my real father wasnt around. Id then want to know where he is and how to contact him. In regards to your mom and siblings, Id love them no matter what, unless they were abusive to me which doesnt seem to apply in your case.
2006-07-11 18:48:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom probably didn't want to hurt you so she didn't tell you until now. If you feel like it - look up the man who is your real father and try to get to know him - if he is open to it as well.
2006-07-11 18:45:06 · answer #9 · answered by bluskygreengrass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the father who raised you. and it's your chioce if you want to find your real father. but i think your mother should have told you abt this before. it's ok to be mad at her (if you are) i would be upset and confused. i think you mother held it in to protect you..
2006-07-11 18:46:23 · answer #10 · answered by Giggles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋