My daughter who will be starting school is going through a stage (I hope) of wanting to see her playmates "pee-pees" all male. and she has been kissing on the boys, exposing her breasts. She also has been seen masturbating by rubbing objects against her vagina. The doctor tells me 5 is the age sexual curiosity begins. Should I be concerned or ride it out?
2006-07-11 11:12:49 · 17 answers · asked by atwitsend 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
This is VERY normal. almost all kids do this at some point, some just hide it better than others. Believe me, I am a Pre-K teacher and I have seen it all. You should not be concerned, per se, but be vigilant. Kids usually do these things when unsupervised, because there is no one there to put a stop to this most fascinating play. Have a discussion with her about her body, adn stress that she is the boss of her body, just like every one esle is a boss of their own body. sometimes children who are very curious like your daughter is will intimidate other children into pulling down their pants, etc. She needs to know this is not ok. For many children, this curiousity is also a control issue.
She needs to know that it is safe to masturbate in private but not at school or in public. Many people think that only teens and adults do this, but it actually starts quite early.
As for the kissing, a frank discussion about spreading germs and personal boundaries might help. The best thing I can tell you is be very open and honest with her and let her know she is safe, but keep a watchful eye and divert her play when she starts engaging in sexual play.
2006-07-17 14:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by kwinkle 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it weren't for the "exposing her breasts" part, I'd say she's probably "just curious", however, it sounds to me like maybe she's seen something (on T.V. or somewhere else) that has made "an impression" somehow upon her... Have you talked with her regarding the possibility that someone has made inappropriate advances or touched her in some way? Maybe a playmate or a friend or someone at school, or a relative perhaps has exposed her to something more? You should talk with her about this, and impress upon her the dangers of exposing herself to others... and make sure she feels safe and secure enough in your love and ability to protect her so that she can feel comfortable enough to confide in you if something has indeed happened to her... Good luck!
2006-07-11 11:20:11 · answer #2 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for a child to rub her genitals because it feels good (It's something that many children discover quite by accident.), but the other things you mentioned are usually learned behavior. I'd look into what she has been seeing on TV or witnessing otherwise, and I would put a stop to it. If it was only masturbation, I would just tell her that it is a private thing and to only to it when she is alone, however since there is other activity that includes other children, it should cease immediately.
2006-07-12 04:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by carmilysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children as a whole are naturally curious about the unknown but I have not seen such overwhelming sexuality in such a young child. I have worked in a daycare setting for almost three years and have two children of my own. Has she been watching questionable movies lately? Anything else that you could think of. I know that in a child abuse course I had taken that some children react this way when they are sexually abused. Not saying that she has, of course, but it is something to watch for. Sometimes ignoring this behavior will make it go away. Good luck to you.
2006-07-11 11:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant say, but from personal experience some things with my girls around ages 4-6 made me raise an eyebrow more than once. The worst was when we were at their grandparents house at an extended family get-together. Sometime in the afternoon my 5 year old daughter comes over to me while I was stitting down and starts hugging me, repeatedly kissing me on the face, rubbing against me and rolling around on me in what was pretty clearly a sexual way. I was shocked, confused and weirded out as hell, she was acting totaly out of character and I was thinking, my god, what the hell is going on, why is it going on and what are all these other people going to make of this? I didnt know where this was coming from but while she was doing this on me she kept looking away from me to one spot. I followed her gaze and saw the son (age 11) of my wifes aunty staring at my daughter while repetedly squeezing his crotch. Apparently she was putting on some form of show for the older kid.... I was numbstruck, I got out of the chair and took her with me to watch the pet birds her grandfather kept at the back of his house. To this day I have utterly no idea where this behaviour came from, both my wife and I are protective parents and never exposed her to anything like the way she was behaving, either in real life or on TV.
2006-07-11 16:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by John M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the phallic stage of development.
It's perfectly normal; this is the age when kids become very curious about their genitals, and what makes boys and girls different. Looking at each others private parts, playing doctor, and similar things are all normal. So is some masturbation.
You shouldn't get too worked up, but you should take the time to explain boundaries and limits in terms your child can understand. Do not try to make your child embarrassed or nervous about this; it isn't going to lead to premature sex.
2006-07-11 12:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by P. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The experimentation and exploration is normal. I would tell her that all of that is fine, in her room, behind a closed door (and alone!), but doing these things in public is offensive and not appropriate.
If she's so curious, get a book about "development" and let her look. She is curious, but she doesn't yet know what questions to ask, so it's going to be hard to satisfy her curiosity by talking.
2006-07-15 01:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by knowitall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she seen this behavior on TV or at home. She may have been molested. I would be concerned. While curiosity is natural this is an extreme behavior. I would try to find out. She is your precious little girl and she may be needing your help with a problem she can't tell you about because she will think you won't love her any more. Please check out all possibilities.
2006-07-12 00:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by # one 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is not going to go down well with the other kids at school. If this has just started , not to be a panic merchant, but have you thought about the idea that someone may be abusing her. It is common in these situations for a child to show sexual signs like this
2006-07-11 17:51:37 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is in an exploration phase of finding out that boys and girls have different body parts.....she may be taking it a bit extreme from your description but it can be fueled by what she sees on television and movies and much as I hate to censor what my children see....in order that she does not become too outward with it, you might want to pay attention to what is on the tube for a while. Otherwise, talk to her and let her know that she can ask mommy questions about bodies but they are called privates for a reason and it's not polilte to go around asking to see others.
2006-07-11 11:18:03 · answer #10 · answered by Jan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋