Got some family issues...I need some advise please.!!?

Question

I live with both my parents and a little brother...My mom goes to work full time and my dad is currently going to college. My dad is a big man and was even bigger a few months ago. He had a gastric bypass surgery and now hes losing weight fast. My dad is the quick temper kind of person whos always speaking whats on his mind. Im only 16 yrs old and I know I need to listen to my parents but sometimes my dad gets a little out of hand. He yells and cusses alot and is constantly disrespecting everyone in the house. I have a tendency to speak back to him. No cussin or anything but sometimes he hurts my feelings so I say things to hurt his. But he usually flips out whenever I say something back. I get a whack sometimes but most the time he grounds me. I do love my dad alot and I know he loves me but he didnt grow up with sucha nice family.I dont think he really knows any better. Everyone just tells me to be quiet, but thats just makes me feel worse.How should I react in a situation like this

Answer 1

it sounds like he may be depressed,
it cant be easy after a surgery and low self image.
just remeber , when it comes to some people in this world you have to
just let their words roll off of you, or else it will hurt you.
I live with a dad like that so I KNOW.

If you can understand why he does it ( becuae hes miserable) then you have the power in the situatioin to know that it him and not you. so let his words just roll off. Its hard at first, but it takes time and maturity to let it work.

you have to find some sort of release, holding your anger in and never letting it out will only hurt you, I know because I suffer from low self esteem becuase I never really learned to stand up for myself.
"he lets his anger out, but you have to find a positive way to do it".

karate, meditation, drawing , writing ,whatever, find a positive way to let it out.
I think people who tell you to be quiet are people who probably dont know how to deal with the situation themselves, so they just sit there and take it.

Answer 2

I think you need to put him down and address the problem so that the both of you can come up with the solution. Your right he probably doesn't know any better but you and him fussing back at each other it makes hard for the both of you to see each others points. Take the time one day and offer him to go out with you so there is no distracation, sit quietly and look him in the eye, pour out how you feel and aknowledge the good as well as the bad. Trust by the time you guys are done talking you guys will not only built a relationship but you both will expect the best. It takes time so have patience okay!

Answer 3

My son is 16 yrs old he spends time with his dad every week. He also has this problem , My advice to you as well as my son is to call him on his behavior. Do not be rude or angry when you do this. Just simply say after he is done yelling and cussing. I don't like it when you say things like that to me. Would you speak to me like that if people out side could hear you? Would you be embarrassed by your behavior? I can hear you much better if you talk to me like a person instead of barking at me like a dog. How can you hear me if your doing all the talking? And most of all tell him you love and want to respect him and would like the same in return. At 16 this would be very hard to say to your father, Just do it at a time when you are safe maybe when your mother is home too. Remember you don't want to fight with him only tell him in a respectful manner how you feel when he acts like that.

Answer 4

Sit Down & Talk with Your Dad tell him exactly how you feel about his words & his hitting.Tell him just because you were brought up that way doesn't mean you gotta treat me the same way his reaction will be Omg then he'll think long & hard I know My Dad did when this happened 2 me many of years ago since then My Dad & I got along better & he wasn't so hard on me anymore either.Good Luck

Answer 5

In the word of God it says: "Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing." (Proverbs 12:18) You see, when someone is on speaking out of anger, it is best not speak words of anger back, because you will only make it worse, You cannot put out a fire with fire. You need to speak the opposite words, that will shut the anger down. Again it says: "A hothead starts fights; a cool-tempered person tries to stop them. (Proverbs 15:18) Again it says: "A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) And again it says: "From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive. (Proverbs 16:23) So the next time your dad is having one of his fits of rage and is saying unkind words to you, stop for a moment and tell him that you love him, and it will surely put out his fire!

Answer 6

You need to understand that since he is sick, his short temper will be even shorter and he is your Dad. Once in a while you could tell him things like, "you dont have to yell" and along the line he will know you dont appreciate the way he talks to you or anybody else.

Answer 7

Sounds like your dad has issues with himself. Most people feel bad about their childhood or situations in life (like being obese and not being able to eat like he use too). They want you to feel like they feel, it makes them feel good to put others down. Don't let him do that to you. Maybe he should read some of these responses and get the help he needs and stop forcing others to feed of his misery. By the way, prayer is number 1.

Answer 8

take your dad by the hand and ask him if you can ask him something. "dad can i talk to u about something?"
then tell him that the cursing, yelling and his temper really hurts u
and then talk to him about how to solve this like each time he swears he puts a quarter in a jar or somethin like that. and this swearing thing will take a while to stop i have had this problem(swearing) and it takes awhile to stop. so try and be patient and try not to be direspectful to him. and also try to explain your position in this problem to yur dad. and if it does not work then try video recording thim doing this and show it to him(or record it with a tape player and show it to him) and if that does not work then try again and again to draw his attention to this problem. cause eventually he will get the piont.

Answer 9

Try if you can to sit your dad down and have a good talk with him and let him know how you feel. Otherwise if he starts yelling just sit and listen....Dont do anything to make it worse...It maybe the way he vents his anger.

Answer 10

it depends on what exactly he gets mad at and what he says to you... first you should never try and get even ( making his feelings hurt)... i grew up in a bad situation and i was a bigger man for it, and they knew i was a bigger man for not saying anything... so i guess my advice would be just blow it off your soldiers and just learn from it, I'm a parent now and i know not to be like my father was and you should learn from it too so you can be a better mother in the future