Okay so here is my lonely situation! I have no family no mother, no father, nothing! So to me it is very important to be loved, the problem lies within me though! I am constantly worried that the person I am currently seeing is going to leave me, whether it be intentional or not. I want to give my heart to him, but find myself backing away slowly but definatley surely! I do it with everyone friends, boyfriends, co-workers....EVERYONE! I am sometimes afraid that I am SO jaded that I amy never love or get loved again. I So the question here is give my heart to this person or not?
2006-07-11 10:06:54 · 35 answers · asked by downsouth9a1231 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You'll have to get over this or you'll be alone forever.
Maybe you should just talk to this guy about your trust issues.
The other thing is see what your friends think of him. If they think he's scum then he probably is and you should find someone else. If they like him, you need to get over your fears and let loose.
Don't rush into things. Move at your own speed.
If you want to play the role of a victim, you'll always be victimized. Part of being human is living, learning, being loved, being hurt, and loving again. Accept it.
2006-07-11 10:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel and apparently you already do too - I think you already know the right answer. Yes, open up to him. Don't hold back. Be vulnerable. The worst that can happen is that you could break up, but it sounds like you would do that ANYWAY if you are backing away from him. TELL HIM exactly what you told us. If the relationship is worth it, he will embrace your fears. "Give your heart" to him. Even if you still break up, at least you would have grasped what it means to love and be loved, and you'd be stronger for it. You will find something amazing -- that if you give your heart to someone, it's not like your heart is gone forever! You can get it back! But you'll be stronger for it.
Open up to your coworkers, too. Start small - yes, it's difficult - but start by telling them snippets about your life and background. It's surprising how happy people usually are to reciprocate. You will learn something about them in the process, not just about yourself. You can make some friends for life this way.
On the other hand, if you continue as you are, and you don't let anyone in -- well, you'll be asking the same question for the rest of your life. You already know what the problem is and how to fix it -- have the courage and the confidence to do it.
2006-07-11 10:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all.
Sometimes if you love someone you might get hurt! I know I have, and I know that many other people answering your question have as well.
I am glad you recognize this issue as being your own, but the main question is...do you want to change this?
If you do, than I suggest that you give your heart to this person. Try it out! You can't protect yourself from being hurt no matter how hard you try. You should never close yourself out from other people because of a fear of getting hurt.
It will happen, and the best you can do, is lift yourself up, dust yourself some more...and go on.
Give yourself the chance to love someone completely, no restrictions. Even though there are bad times in every relationship, there are always good times as well.
And those make up for any hurt that you ever feel!
Good luck!
2006-07-11 10:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give your whole heart to that person. Love a little at a time, if you don't trust the guy to believe that he won't leave you, there's either some reason he has made you believe that or you yourself have that problem. If you haven't been loved in a while and you're lonely, why back away? I could see if you strangled everyone with love or sumthin, but don't back from them. That's why you're lonely.
2006-07-11 10:12:13 · answer #4 · answered by blue suede shooz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lost multiple family members, and friends. Also, been through a divorce. All of them hurt, but I still love, and always will. The pain from lost love hurts, but it mellows with time and it is part of the beauty of life. The times after I look back and realize that some of my best growing moments, and achievements, occurred when I was in great emotional pain.
I would say, let it go and live life, regardless of the chances of pain, if you don't and you let fear get in the way, you will always wish you took the chance.
Good Luck
2006-07-11 10:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by bunja2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can stay safe, keep to yourself, and never be hurt by love or you can take a chance and the risk along with it. There are no sure things when it comes to love. Love will never be complete and unblemished happiness. It contains many raw emotions.
Would you rather love for one short day, hour, or even minute or experience no love for a lifetime? If you take the chance at least you avoid the regret of never finding out.
Love can be harsh but regret is much worse.
2006-07-11 10:17:19 · answer #6 · answered by Cyn6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you pretty much solved your own mistery. You've been alone your entire life and you haven't had a secure home. You don't want to be alone anymore. It sounds to me though like you've found someone who really loves you and wants to be there for you. But you're pulling away. You're finally getting what you've been lacking all these years and now you won't enjoy it because you're scared? Don't sabotage your life! Its your time to be happy now you've suffered enough. We don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow but you have to realize that you're a strong woman and you gotta be your own best friend and trust that no matter what you're going to be ok and survive so enjoy the good times and worry about the bad if it happens, when it happens. Its your time now!
2006-07-11 10:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by honey27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!! You can't go through life afraid of love. Sure, you might get burned, but when they love you back, I mean really love you back, all the hurt you had before seems so insignificant. So go for it. I think you'll find you have a more fulfilling life when you let people in a little more often. Good luck!
2006-07-11 10:10:39 · answer #8 · answered by Girl #34567 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that you feel that way. Probably you should tell him how you feel. Maybe he wants to stay with you forever and you are going to hurt him. You must feel confident in yourself and be proud of who you are. Everyone has worth and value in this world, and you are part of this world too!! Try approaching this situation differently than you have in the past and you will be surprised how it turns out. You can e-mail me if you want.
Good Luck.
2006-07-11 10:17:35 · answer #9 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a tough one. My suggestion is to be yourself, open your heart to people and yes they will disapoint you and let you down, but keep your heart open. there are many good people out there you just need to find them. You can tell a player when you see one.
I trust everyone until they give me reason not to. that is how I live. I hav met some great people and I have met some slugs. that is how life goes.
2006-07-11 10:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by jeepfaust 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋