Okay, so my husband and I have been living through a hard time lately. I mean, we are living with my mother and we are newely weds. Finally, there is an end in sight, and we should be moving out in one month. The thing is that now it is starting to hit me that we are moving out I feel depressed, and am having trouble being excited with him. It is totally unfounded, but I am almost scared that our 'new life' will equal him not liking me as much. I don't want to be this way about things. Any advice? I don't even know where to start making this better.
2006-07-11 09:53:56 · 13 answers · asked by wishing_i_could_sing 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Okay to clarify, my husband and I have lived alone before, and I really don't think it is that I am going to miss my mom (trust me). I think it has something to do with the fact that so many things have not worked out for us lately, lots of dissapointment, and lots of heart ache. But, things are looking up. It just sucks that the greatest thing comes to us at the end of my optomistic rope. Does this make since? I am more and more excited, it just feels like I built up all this mental defense and what if it doesn't work out, and I just have to wait for it to come down, does this make since?
2006-07-11 10:08:07 · update #1
Oh, well that is entirely different.
While we are not newlyweds, we also have ben going through a LONG string of tough times - and like you , we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (and are pretty sure it is not another train). And about 2 weeks ago I just felt like I couldn't go on any more. I know I need to have a positive mental attitude, but really all I could do is cry. It has been so freaking hard.
As much as I hate to admit it, my period came early by surprise right in the middle and I am thinking that had a lot ot do with it (hormones) but I know that when all is said and done I will be thrilled at first and then go into a funk as I can start to unwind and release some of the unbearable tension. You often hear of people who are amazing at a time of tragedy and then as soon as everyone else is safe, they collapse into hysterics. That level of stress needs to be released and it will.
The depression is natural. You are doing a great job and your body wants you to rest. Lay in the sun and read a book or take an extra nap. Watch something really funny on tv and in a day or 2 you will be ready to tackle the world once again.
Peace!
2006-07-11 10:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 9⤊ 3⤋
First I think it is where our sights are set. It starts with you or me, Do we see how wonderful and unique we each are? Do we take the negative and see it positive. I am always striving to do that to see the positive in life even when it seems everything falls down around me and I feel without hope. Taking courage and knowing that there is better in the future knowing it does matter what we do in this life that has made all the difference to me. I heard somewhere a quote " we are meant to soar with the eagles not wallow with the pigs"
As for marriages or any relationship we have takes work. If we trust and can see the good things it is easier. the word " I love you " can never be said enough. Also communication it is a key element and sharing with one another. Finding time to do meaningful activities is important too. Sometimes one forgets in the business of life to still go on dates even after marriage.
I hope all goes well for you.
2006-07-11 17:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by nubes_azules 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
moving out of your mothers house should be very exciting
a chance to start your own family and own life without your mother....
being a functional independent married couple who can cope with change is a good thing.
you will get used to it and things will work out.. give it some time and please dont be depressed about something like that....
its very exciting
2006-07-11 16:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by C. D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't really the thing to be discussing with strangers online as we don't know a fraction of this situation and I don't think you should take any advice offered to heart.. This is the kind of thing you have to deal with yourself sweetheart.
2006-07-11 16:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone has trouble getting used to something new. of coarse its normal, and its just a phase. when you move out, of coarse your going to be a little nervous. but eventually you will get over it. trust me, i have been through that already. i hope it works out :]
also, be truthful to yor husband in saying that you ARE a little nervous. im sure he will say the same thing.
2006-07-11 16:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Shannon♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, i'm not the best at change and the whole husband reassurance thing is just part of being a newly wed i think.
i think it sometimes about my husband....like "does he ever regret marrying me??"
i shove the thoughts out of my head b/c i go to him and kiss him and look into his eyes and i see how much he loves me and how good our life is together....no matter where we live.....
just go with it and when you need reassurance lean on your husband ...that's what marriage is about...the team effort!
take care.
2006-07-11 16:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone is scared of change..but hun..u have to let go of the past..if u r truly happy with this man...u should be excited to share a new life together, it is not like u wont ever see your mom..u kinda have to detach from your mom..u r grown and need to start your own family.
2006-07-11 16:57:39 · answer #7 · answered by freesiahigh7814 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of coure it's normal. How are you supposed to just slip into something you've never had experience with? Wisdom beats technical knowledge because you may not know, but you know how to proceed. What not to do!
2006-07-11 16:57:35 · answer #8 · answered by vanamont7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suffer from this problem too. You just have to do it. It will work itself out in the end. It will be okay. Good luck.
2006-07-11 16:55:47 · answer #9 · answered by pulchritudinous 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only constant thing in the universe is
change
2006-07-11 16:57:15 · answer #10 · answered by workinman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋