how do i get a kid to stop trowing a fit ?

Question

everytime i ask him to do something he throw a fit and im so sick of it and his father does not do anything about it all he does is talk to him about it it is getting to the point were im just going to scream at his father for not doing anything about it what should i do he is 9 he does not need to throw a fit anymore what should i do ?

Answer 1

First of all, please don't yell at your husband or your child. Handle this yourself. I take it at 9 yrs. old that he can tell time. When you want him to do something tell him he has so many minutes to do it in. If it's not done on time or he has a fit, take one of his priviliges or his favorite thing to do away. Explain to him exactly what will happen and then "stick to your guns". For example, if he plays games on the computer, no computer for 2 or three days, whatever you choose. But mean it. Or, take away phone priviliges. Each time he pitches a fit, tell him that it is another day added on to his punishment. Could be not riding a bicycle, skateboard, playing with friends, having company over, anything that he loves to do. If you tell him to pick up toys and he doesn't do it in the time alloted or he pitches a fit, you pick them up, put them in a bag, hide them in the top of your closet or somewhere that he can't get them and keep them for 2 weeks. When he gets the toys back and you tell him to pick them up and he doesn't do it in the amount of time you say, this time take them to Goodwill or donate them somewhere. It won't take long for him to come around if you show him that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior. DO NOT BACK DOWN. DO NOT GIVE IN TO HIM. It doesn't matter if he pleads, whines, or cries, make a believer out of him by showing him that you are the parent and the boss, not him. At some point in time, your hand may have to have a sudden collision with his bottom. I really hope this helps.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, parenting can be tricky. Sometimes an outside parental figure is best to get him grounded. Are there any people you know who would gladly take him for a weekend? When he acts up for them, they'll be better to put him in his place because it's a figure he isn't used to dealing with on a regular basis. If you can't find someone to take him off your hands, you will have to take some measurements to ensure you're getting the respect you deserve. Try letting him know, in a none threatening voice that you will not accept his behavior anymore. The tricky part: Ask him what his punishment should be everytime he acts out. Insist that he tell you. If he can't, you tell him. It has to be something that doesn't create a scene. This could easily cause him over time to feel inferior. Doing something as simple as placing him in a select spot everytime he acts up, a particular chair or part of the floor will do. If his father doesn't let him know who's boss now, he'll never be able to. Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, you need to have a discussion with the child's father about backing you up. That will help a lot. My daughter used to throw horrible fits. I just ignored her and when she was done I kept the same attitude as far as what started the fit. Like if I asked her to clean her room and she threw a fit, I ignored her and left the room and came back when she was done and told her to clean her room. Eventually she realized she would have to do it no matter what, and the fits stopped all together. But I can't say this would have ever worked if my husband had not backed me up. Sometimes the fit/ignore pattern would last until he got home from work and he needed to tell her also. Good luck!

Answer 4

Take away what he likes the best. And DO NOT give in to whatever he is throwing a fit for! Sometimes I find with my kids the best way to get them to stop is to just ignore them completely when they start acting up.

Answer 5

The trick is to find what your child hates the most and use that as a punishment. We have 2 boys, ages 10 and 11. The 11 yr. old is developmentally delayed. His mental and emotional age is about 5-6 yrs. old. He loves attention and hates to be by himself so when he's throwing a fit we send him to his room until he stops. The 10 yr. old gets mouthy and hates exercise so we make him do push-ups. We've learned over the yrs. what works and what doesn't. Our kids don't respond to spanking and they don't respond to time-outs or being grounded so we've had to get creative.

Answer 6

U need 2 punish him if i threw a fit when i was little i would get spanked or popped on the mouth.
Spank him!
He knows he can get away with everything cuz u didn't teach him at an earlier age.
Start teaching him now or its just going 2 get worse!!
It'll be a nightmare when he's a teenager!!!

Answer 7

Tell him the next time he has a fit your going to spank him, because he's acting like a two year old and the next time he does it - pop his backside - hard enough for him to feel it.

Do that two or three times and he'll stop - at least with you.

You also need to discuss it with Dad - this is disrepectful behavior from your child and Dad and you need to be united in this.

Answer 8

ignore him and walk away
or
laugh at how funny he acts
or
ask him to throw a fit before you ask him to do something so he can get it out of the way and mind you

Answer 9

Maybe you can talk to his father without screaming at him. That won't help set the example you want for your son not to scream and throw fits.

http://www.parentingweb.com/discipline/pw_disc.htm

Answer 10

I have been where you're at sweetie, although its been a few years, I feel for you. I tried everything with my children, and can't pinpoint what worked best. I guess the time out theory works to a point, and taking away privileges, such as, phone, socializing with friends, etc...Maybe counseling for the family, including your husband. God bless, and good luck,.... this too shall pass, it did for me.