my dad chews tabbacco and it is slowly killing him.in my opinion my dad is the greatest person alive and i have the closest relationship with him.i can seem to get him to stop however.it bugs me knoing that he cares so much about me but not enough to stop chewing so he can stay around for a little wile longer.wat shuld i do?
2006-07-11 09:00:36 · 11 answers · asked by scottishmohawk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, for as long as I can remember my dad has chewed. I have tried to tell him a gazillion times that it is bad for him, he just doesnt listen. The way i see it, is hes a grown man and is stuck in his ways, he is gonna do what he wants nomatter what anyone tells him. Thats just the way my dad is, but maybe you can try telling your dad the facts and what not. just let him know you love him and are concerned about his health, maybe he'll listen. Good luck, buddy!!!
2006-07-11 09:07:38 · answer #1 · answered by tashasnyder2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No adult likes being told how to live their life. Heck, kids don't like it either, but you have to listen to your parents.
Your dad knows it's not healthy. You're not telling him something that's going to surprise him. The more you bug him, the less likely it will be that he'll stop. That's just how it is. Would you stop a bad habit or start a good one simply because someone bugged you every day?
When you feel that you can have the conversation without being preachy or condescending, have a talk with your dad and tell him the following things: I love you. I want you to be around for a long time because, even as I grow up, I need your advice, wisdom, love, and acceptance. I want you to see me graduate college. I want you to be at my wedding. I want you to know your grandchildren, and I want them to know you. You are extremely important to me, and I can't imagine life without knowing that you are in my corner. I want you to be around a long time, and I wish you would stop chewing tobacco.
Then, and this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing, never bug him to stop again. He heard you. He won't forget. Any further comments will be seen as nagging, and it just doesn't work. If he does try to quit, support him with only positive comments. Don't talk about what a "filthy, disgusting" habit it was. Just tell him that you're thankful that he quit.
You really do catch more flies with honey.
2006-07-11 16:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him chewing tobacco has nothing to do with if he loves you or not. He is doing it because he is enjoying it. I don't know how old your dad is. But my dad is 83 years old now. He eats stuff that he shouldn't because of the medical problems that he has got. I even fix him stuff that he wants to eat, that he should not eat. But you know what, the way I look at it, my dad has lived a long and good life all these years. Now even though he shouldn't eat these things, I let him have the stuff, no I'm not try to kill him or help him died. I just think that he should be able to enjoy his last years, HAPPY YEARS!!!
I want my dad to be around here with me for a few more years too, but I want them to be happy years. Your dad enjoys his tobacco and mine enjoys his sweets and other foods that he should not eat. Which would you rather have a happy dad doing what he enjoys or a sad dad?And stop gripping at him about it. Loving or caring about you enough has nothing to do with him chewing the tobacco or not. We ALL have habits that are not good for us that someone somewhere don't like and we don't like people harping on us for doing things that we enjoy doing.
2006-07-11 16:49:44 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. My dad was the same way about smoking. I had asthma really bad and I have always hated cigarettes. My dad couldn't even make it through a movie without having to go out for a smoke. But the bad thing was even if I asked him to put it out for me he'd tell me no.
Now, years and years later the factory that my dad works at not only has gone smoke free, but is requiring that within a year that its employees be smoke free. Guess what, my dad quit smoking.
It sucks to realize that no matter how they care for you or you care for them nothing you can do is going to change their mind. It doesn't matter if their life is threatened or their loved ones leave. But threaten their bank account and see what happens.
I don't know what you can do or if there's anything you can do but I hope for the best for you and your father. Good luck and don't let this reflect on how you think he feels about you.
2006-07-11 16:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dad chews tobacco too. he goes through three cans in two weeks. i have a strong relationship with my dad but every time i tell him "tobacco is wacko" he gets offended by it. Grown ups just dont care what us younger people care. or at least some grown ups dont. tell your dad how you are worried that if he doesnt stop chewing tobacco he will soon die and tell him that you dont want him to because you two are so bonded together. good luck i hope you can get him to stop.
2006-07-11 17:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by brandy625 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just tell him how much you love him, tell him why you fel the way you do and the way you feal about his desision, my dad has a heart desease and i know that he is going to die soon, weather it is 1 year from now 5, or 20, he is going to die from a heart atack and the sorrow that i will and am going thrue is undescribable, so if your dad can do something about it i would really really encerage him to stop, remember you cant make him stop but you can love him and spend tim with him while he is still around.
2006-07-11 16:10:54 · answer #6 · answered by lauren r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off tobacco is the hardest thing in the world to quit, so don't feel that he loves you any less because he cannot stop, that is just silly.
Second sit down with him and talk about options or things that would help him quit..
i don't know, i smoke and cannot quit... it is very hard :(
2006-07-11 16:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to realize that some habits are very hard to kick. this doesn't mean he doesn't care. Don't put alot of pressure on him. Respect his right as an adult. Let him know that you do respect it, and keep gently nudging him. Best wishes.
2006-07-11 16:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by Doll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him!!! tell him that if he loves u he will stop.! Tell him all that u feel! It is emberasement over keeping your dad! Make your choiuce! Reffer him to a support group! Do something!
2006-07-11 16:04:15 · answer #9 · answered by coolcat123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep trying. Also maybe if you told him the facts he wouldn't do it anymore.
2006-07-11 16:03:10 · answer #10 · answered by brewers_babe49 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋