It's been 8 weeks since my b/f dumped me with an e-mail (very suddenly) & I'm still grieving it. I don't even know why he ended the relationship. His folks have talked to him about it & they've told me he's miserable - they know I'm miserable, but no one knows what's going on with him or why he did it this way. So how can I put aside the unhappiness? This misery is making me crazy.
2006-07-11 08:30:57 · 32 answers · asked by pumpkin 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we were together 2 years; he's not my first but I really am beginning to think he's gonna be my last! I have been keeping very busy - doing a lot of different things & working hard at staying cheerful. This is all good advice - & thank you so much for all of the caring responses!!!
2006-07-11 08:45:30 · update #1
In situations like this I think the best way to "get over the hump" is to get him face to face and demand an explanation. It's really the only way to put closure to it. Do not let him get out of facing you. he took the easy way out doing it the way he did. he needs to be a man and face you with the truth. You deserve him doing that. So that is what I would do. Do not let it go. Get closure and make him face you! But be considerate and do it in private. Do not humiliate him with a public spectical. Neither of you need that kind of humiliation. Good luck sweetie!
2006-07-11 08:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Stop weepin over that man. It is obvious that he is a child any way. A real man doesn't dump a woman over e mail. A real man speak to a woman face to face about whatever seem to be wrong. If I was you, I wouldn't worry about that b/c things happen for reason. It is obvious you had a lil boy for a man and you need to move on and find someone who loves you. That boy didn't love you b/c if he did, he wouldn't put you through so much heart ache and pain. Honey, get a make over and get back out there dating. Don't let this experience ruin your dating field. There are other men in the world that wouldn't do what he did to you. I know it hurts the way he did and didn't give you an explanation but why should you suffer since he isn't??? Move on, please!!! He is not worth it, at all!!!!
2006-07-11 08:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by jetta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wasn't the person you thought. Maybe he started out acting how he thought he should to get you and keep you and eventually couldn't keep it up. This is what I did in all my early relationships. This explains why it ends suddenly because the frustration of not being yourself kinda builds up and it's sort of impossible to admit what's happening. So the person you thought you were going out with didn't dump you really he didn't exist! Just a possibility. The person you thought you were going out with wouldn't dump you so suddenly though would he? That's the similarity I see in what happened to you and what I have done in the past. If you tell him you want to be friends and REALLY mean it and explain that you want to get to know him from scratch again you might get a good friend out of it. I know some people will say avoid contact but that way you might regret it when you get to the stage where you have no way of contacting him. I suggest staying in touch.
2006-07-11 08:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by lizard_flea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My b/f left me over a yr ago and I still haven't completely gotten over it... but trust me as usual the first months are the hardest and time will be the only thing to heal your pain. But DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND KEEP OCCUPIED!!! As much as you want to dwell do it but not for long. Don't worry someone will come along my ex hadn't broken up with me I never would of called an OLD flame and we wouldn't be getting married in a year! Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers! But if the both of you owe it to one another to make sure it's what you want if you're both miserable and you don't think you could call him.... write him a letter and leave it at his house or something mail it. He'll be surprised and you can say everything you want without hesitation! good luck.
2006-07-11 08:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I def. understand where you're coming from because I had the same thing happen to me last year. I spent almost 6 months being depressed and upset (including summer time). But the the next school year came and I found someone new. I realize now just how much time I wasted crying over him. I tried so hard to win him back, but it turns out that it was useless. You should just realize that if he ended things he had his reasons (whether you know them or not is another story) but just respect that he ended it, rather than letting you believe he was happy. Try to go out and have fun with your friends. Don't immediately start looking for someone new, but if the timing is right you wil find him...don't worry. If he left yo, he wasn't worth your time anyway. You deserve so much better! If you ever need to talk to someone you can feel free to contact me. Mucho love.
2006-07-11 08:38:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are your choices? Either sit home and be miserable or pick up the pieces and go on with your life. This is not the end of the world! You will love again. Try to think of all the good things you have in your life.
2006-07-11 08:36:25 · answer #6 · answered by sam04m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through a very bad breakup a couple years ago. My boyfriend of 6 years went out one night with his friends and never came back. Little did I know that at the time his friends was a woman that he worked with. It took me a really long time to get over it. I missed work, I lost over 30 pounds and I didn't want to do anything or talk to anyone. I even watched the same show over and over because it made me feel better. I got myself into things and I made myself new friends and even repaired friendships with old ones. I say you need to keep yourself busy. Do things that you enjoy or things that you always wanted to do but couldn't. Always remember that time and only time heals all wounds and things will get better. I am now married and couldn't be happier. Please keep your head up and feel free to email me anytime.
2006-07-11 08:36:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go out and help people who are unhappy. Give of your time to people and causes you respect. That's the best way to rebuild your life.
Yeah, it's a boyfriend. Your first? Don't let people trivialise your pain, but don't stay there either.
And go out and do stuff that reaffirms your self-value. You gotta love yourself before you can win the love of anyone else. As a guy, I find emotionally healthy women who are really happy with themselves attractive. I love to spend time with such women! :)
Shun Ketsu
2006-07-11 08:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Shun Ketsu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok, it happened to me too, everything in my life changed after that, I learned a lesson, I believe i became a wise person.
It's hard at 1st, but in the coming years you will become a totally different person. (of course better)
The best thing to get over this is to accept the fact that it happened, you don't have to know the reason why he dumped you. it doesn't matter.
Now you know what life is like, it's not worth to do this to your self, go out, read, reading will help you soooooooooo much, specially in scientific things, read books about psychology. it will make you understand what's happening.
I read about Islam, and i discovered that true MuslI'ms avoids you from falling in such situation, True Muslim guys do not act like that. i converted to Islam after that. 5 years now, i feel perfect, and i changed the people i used to mix with, im surrounded with amazing people now. Thanks God.
I hope you get over this as soon as possible.
Do anything to make you avoid thinking about him, Books helped me a lot.
Good Luck..
2006-07-11 08:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are he cheated on you, and dumped you out of guilt or in case you would find out. You need to avoid contact with him and move on. Go out with friends, get into some activities, and start dating other people. It's hard at first, but in a few months you'll have forgotten all about this.
2006-07-11 08:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by Defender 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋