You've been with someone for so long and love them more than anything. You're getting married in a few months and all of a sudden they want out. Even though they claim they love you and they believe the Lord will work things out. Is there anything to explain this. Do some christians run away from problems. I never did. I know the Lord can work this out. But can you really love someone and be in love with them and don't support their needs and Run out on them everytime a problem shows up. Is it possible that this person has someone else in her life who does the things I can't do? It's been a long time we've been in this relationship and I always thought we'd get married. It's only a few months away and I'm watching it fade away.
2006-07-11 07:53:54 · 22 answers · asked by Jonah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's like things do get tough at times and I know I do things she don't like and vice-versa, but I'm not running from all of her imperfections.
2006-07-11 08:00:15 · update #1
SLow down, honey. I know that you are axious and this is literally the rest of your life. You have a lot of questions here and I am trying to take them one at a time.
Your wife- to - be may be running a bit scared. Don't assume that she has someone else. Ask.
Be understanding and patient. Find out why she wants to end the relationship now.
Is she as grounded in your faith as you are? THen she should also know that the Lord will have a way for you. Are you sure that this marriage is of the Lord or is it that YOU want it so bad?
Some Christians do runaway from problems, remember, they are human and can face the same issues like everybody else. And again it depends on how groounded she is.
I know it is hard to face the possibility that you dreams, and hopes can be crushed but you can make it, especially as you have the Lord to guide and strengthen you. Hank in there my brother and in conclusion I say pray, talk to her and be patient. If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it!!
Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-11 08:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by stacy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is very common for people to run away from their problems. We are conditioned by society to believe that things should be "perfect" all the time and when they are not, some people get overwhelmed. Some people do this in a milder way by drinking, taking drugs, and other behaviors that mask the pain. However, the issue is the problem still exists and needs to be addressed. While it may be painful and upsetting, you probably need to reevaluate the relationship and the priorities of both parties. Would you rather be left standing at the alter or with children, a mortgage and huge bills if she decides to run away later? The harsh reality is women abandon their families almost as often as men. Familiarity does not sustain a relationship. Sometimes it's better to let go than to hold onto something that is not there or is only there for one person in the relationship.
2006-07-11 15:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how long "along time" is for you. Did she not give a reason for wanting out? Did you not ask for one? From what you've said, it sounds like she's the type to try to hide from or run away from her problems or shy away from things she may be unsure or nervous about. I don't think it has any relation to christianity though, it's more like just the type of person she is. Doesn't mean she's fake. How old are you both? If your wedding is only a few months away, I'd sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Better to find out now if you're not right for each other. Or, maybe you are right for each other (who really knows) but maybe she's just getting cold feet. Like I said, have a talk with her. Try to be open-minded, honest and compassionate. Try to see things from her perspective as well and don't solely dwell on your own feelings (not that I'm saying that's what you're doing, just a tip since it's easy to get wrapped up in our own feelings a lot of the time. Especially when it's something so personal and emotional). Open those lines of communication now. Good luck.
2006-07-11 15:02:50 · answer #3 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a reason why most people who live together for a long time, when they get married, suddenly divorce, because they cant stand each other then, because they are "under contract" or committed and they cant handle that!!
It befuddles my mind, why this is an occurance and happens a lot. But then it befuddles my mind, why people dont get married right off the bat and enjoy each others company and live a happy life...
Christians will stand together, if they are "Christians". But, as some people "play church", by being there, doing the right things, and not really being into CHRIST, but, wanting the accolades and appreciation for doing this and that in Church, want the glory and attention and thats all.
I have seen many times, people who go to church on Sundays, and swear like a sailor every day of the week, then be holier than thou again on Sundays... It doesnt work that way!
If your a Christian, then you LIVE the life of a Christian!!
Now, having said that, your woman may be the one "playing" at being a Christian, and if you two were living together, then you know that she "was"...
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-07-11 15:00:27 · answer #4 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u been with her for a long time u know her and maybe because its getting so close to getting married that she is scared and the only thing she can do is run away every time yell have a problem but dont just watch it fade away u can tell u love her and it hard to find true love so hold her tell her u love her and make her feel like she is the only one for u and let her know u are scared to and the lord will work it out he has been doing it all this time don't let true love just fade away
2006-07-11 15:15:58 · answer #5 · answered by poohbearbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe there are some underlying issues that you could help her work threw. For all you know she might just be scared. Think about it marrage is final and in todays world alot of them don't work out. I would make a really nice dinner with candles, sit down and try to talk to her. Women love to talk when someone wants to listen. She may just open up to you knowing that you are there to listen to what she is going threw. Good luck
2006-07-11 14:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by Knock Knock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God never gives us what we want but what we need to make us better people. While our vision is limited to what we can only see in front of us (what we want) he can see what is to come down the road so he provides us with experiences (what we need), good and bad, so that we can learn from them and equip ourselves to deal with what is to come.
Having said this, maybe there is a lesson to be learned from this experience with your fiancee that you need to take with you so that your future realationship will prosper. Remember god has a plan for us all. Have faith.
2006-07-11 15:21:40 · answer #7 · answered by paula k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if she truly loves u then everything will turn out well. But if has some one else or she decides that she doesn't want to be with u then, she wasn't the one for u. (Strong believer)
2006-07-11 15:05:33 · answer #8 · answered by a7xrios 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smart woman because she decided she wasn't ready before you got married....how much worse would it have been if she got married and then bailed only after a few months? Take it as a blessing.
2006-07-11 14:56:31 · answer #9 · answered by Gia M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello!
it is the so called "fall out of love" as time passes by you didn't notice or both of you didn't notice that your love is lessen. everyday you see each other, you never miss each other, no challenge in love or spices. that's the disadvantage of a long term relationship. it is not that the other has a third party its just fade...
2006-07-11 15:04:09 · answer #10 · answered by simply_mica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋