What am I to do about my wedding plans?

Question

What am I to do about my wedding plans? My maid of honor’s mother is coming to the wedding and also her daughter is going to be my flower-girl. At first, my brother’s girls were going to be the flower-girls, but now, he and his wife are divorcing. His wife has the kids right now and won’t let them attend my wedding.

The real problem lies in the fact that the mother of the maid of honor and grandmother of the flower-girls and my mother are not friends. My mother is angry because at one point the mother of the maid of honor wanted to sleep with my father, and even break up my parent’s marriage. Now my mother says she won’t come to my wedding. I had made the decision to have the maid of honor’s mother come regardless of what my mother felt.

Answer 1

It sounds like all of you need to meet and talk about this. Perhaps you can ask them to set aside their differences for your wedding and how it would hurt you if you didn't get to have your maid of honor and her family attend the wedding.

I hope it all works out.

Answer 2

Maybe you should stick with the plan you already have. I think it's a good thing that you decided that the Maid of Honor's mother to come because She has the flower girl with her and she plays a more important role in the Wedding. And It's kind of rude that you'r mother wont come even if the Maid of Honor's mother is there becuase it is your special day, Maybe one of the most importand days of you'r life so you should just do what you feel the most strongly about. If possible you could have a very short tiny wedding just for you'r mom and maybe some other relatives that couldn't make it to the wedding. but if you cant you should tell you'r mother that she missed her daughter's wedding because of somthing that happened in the past.
Or possibly persuade you'r mom that she will be on oppisite sides of the Maid of Honor's mother at all times!


Good Luck
I hope you have a great wedding!!!

Answer 3

It must be painful that your own mother refuses to come to your wedding because someone else is going to be there. Try talking to her to let her know how much it means to you for her to be there and share in your special day. Just because people she does not care for are going to be there, doesn't mean that she cannot attend and have a good time. She is not obligated to engage in conversation with them. You should also talk to the maid of honor's mother and explain that there is to be no contact during the wedding and reception between her, your mother, or your father (you didn't say if he was attending or not). Let her know that she is to keep her distance (and your mother should be told to do the same).

Answer 4

Tell your mother to forgive and forget, that stuff was in the past and if your dad is honest enough and loves your mother, then it should not matter who comes in the picture 'cause he should only see your mom....

That is too much stress for you, try to pick other flower girls if you have an option and leave the maid of honor's mother out... This should be your happy day and not a family feud day.

Congratulations in advance

Answer 5

Unless you plan to have a stressful wedding I would NOT make it a big deal for the kids to be there and do not let your maid of honor's mother come...your mom is the most important in that ring of people...make your day as simple as possible otherwise you will not enjoy your day...don't stress over stuff like this!

Answer 6

I know you have a terrible head each right know! Me and my fiance are getting married this year August 26 and we also have problems of our own. Not just you. I am the groom and my parents are divorced. We live in California and she has a father who lives in Chicago that will not come to the wedding. She tried several times to get him to come and this man her father cussed her out and hang up. She really thought he was a good dad but found out he was up set because he owed child support to my fiances mom for her and her brother. (Dead beat Dad) if you ask me. Any way my fiances brother and his girlfriend ex-girlfriend that is are both in our wedding. They just broke up and know he is dating another girl. She is still a brides maid and he is still my grooms men. He I think is planning to bring his new main squeeze to our wedding while he walks down the aisle with his ex the bridesmaid. Another thing my uncle only paid 1/2 of our DJ. money and it doesn't seem like he is going to pay for the rest. I am lucky to have a great father who will help in the other 1/2. My father was not going to stay for the reception because of my mom also. At the reception they will have their tables far apart. I am sorry to here of your trubles but your not the only one I bet all weddings have some kind of bad blood in their.

Answer 7

That was a complex story. I think that all these people making YOUR BIG DAY so difficult, should reconsider and take a hold of themselves just for this day. Grow up should they!

Your brother's children must come. You call her and talk to her. Ask her to let them come for your sake and for their own. They'll one day dislike that she made this decision on their behalf! They are your family and you are their's. She must manage one day feeling sorry for herself.

Your mom must come. If you tell her, OK dont come. Stay at home, but I cant help this situation - will she really, really not come to your wedding? Try her if you dare. If you dont dare, you tell her the same as you told your ex-sister-in-law. Dont let her regret her own decision one day - not attending your wedding.

Good luck to you and I wish you have a nice wedding with no stupid problems casting a shadow on you.

Answer 8

I know what you mean with mothers, I had problems with both mothers (mother in law and mine) during our wedding planning.
Sit her down and tell her you love her very much but that you have chosen to invite this person. Tell her that this is your special day and you don't want to hurt anybodies feelings but it is hard to make everybody happy. Let her know that you love her and want her there but you also want to invite this other lady.

Are you doing place setting? If not, maybe you should think about this for the reception that way you can guarantee that they will both be far apart from each other. Trust me you will regret it if your mother isn't there but you have to also let her know that this is your wedding! Good luck (trust me it will all work out, be patient and pray to God for strength, and patience)
Congratulations!

Answer 9

Listen up! This is YOUR day!!!!!!! It is YOUR wedding. This is what I told my friends ,family and his friends and family: If you cant put your differences aside for one day, one major day which is going to be the most beautiful, memorible day of my life then you don't need to come. I really want you there because I love you but ultimatly this is my wedding and the beginning of my marriage and I make the decisions of who will be in it and attend. So lets see who will be a mature enough person to love me and be happy for me for one day. You can go back to hateing these people tomorrow! Fi your mother and your friends mother love you then they can and will set aside their differences for your day. and if they cant then at least you know how selfish they really are. sad but true! You have enough to worry about without this and they are bieng very selfish for making you deal with this.

Answer 10

For a mother not to want to go to her daughter's wedding she must be serious.

The MOH's mom should gracefully back out if she knows the dilemma she has caused. If not, she is putting you on the spot.

Moms are forever, a wedding is just one day. Figure out which is more important to you and move forward.