What is an acceptable amount to steal from a church collection plate?

Question

Since starting to pilfer loose change a couple of years ago, I've raised enough to buy a plasma television. Now I want the surround sound hi-fi to complement it. Is it okay to start on the notes or should I be patient?

Answer 1

Good god man are you mad, you should take the silver too.Do you know how much the catholic church is worth, they're not gonna miss a few quid, get yourself the new 7.1 surround sound from Sony and get the passion of Christ DVD to watch.
You're also gonna need some beer and popcorn too so don't forget to budget yourself for that too.
But I'd stop at shagging the choir boys...leave that to the priest.

Answer 2

Here's an idea: collect enough change to build ur own church and run the competition into the ground. You can have all the collection money you want and be guilt free - then again this is alot of hassle. Save up for a high definition TV instead.

Answer 3

Why not go round shops and garages to steal all the charity collection boxes as well. If you look in the supermarkets they sometimes have larger boxes.
If you feel really ambitious then go to an airport for a go at the loose change collection boxes with loads of money from all countries.

You sad man god will get his own back ... Hope you like it hot.

Answer 4

For many years now I have been chipping the gold plating from church collection plates, melting down the pieces and moulding them into... you guessed it, church collection plates. These can then be sold to the church for a tidy profit.
The velvet collection bag things that some churches have are very good to. The fabric is very popular with pimps and Johnathan Ross these days.

Answer 5

Tee Hee Heee! They take the bait every time, don't they!

If you're in need of extra cash, churches are a goldmine, aside from the nicking theodd candlestick and chalice why not sneak into the graveyard and steal all the fresh flowers. Then you can go to the cemetary gates and sell them back to people who've come to mourn their dead relatives. Everyone's a winner.

Answer 6

A better idea. Stand outside your local supermarket with a big bucket, and say you are collecting for a charity. It would have to be a really heart-rending charity, like "Kids With No Mums". Get some stickers to give to everyone who donates. You'll soon have enough for your hi-fi.

Answer 7

I personally take the first 3 bills off the top, regardless of what they are, it takes less time and is much more quite than trying to take change from the bottom of the plate.
I'm "saving up" for a new computer, I think God wants me to have one.

Answer 8

fairly no longer. And in case you do, then shame on you. assume the vicar knew you've been taking funds from the series plate. What in case you've been named and shamed? And why would not he rfile you to the Police? Stealing is undesirable, yet stealing from the church is amazingly low. extremely as multiple that funds is going in the route of assisting the undesirable of the parish.

Answer 9

So your stealing from the clergy and your not even seeking forgiveness from god.Seriosly WHY DO YOU EVEN GO TO CHURCH!!!How are you going to feel when you confess this,if at all you go for religion!You don't even need these items,if it was for food if would be a bit differant but for a plasma screen t.v.!!!

Answer 10

Since you have to sit around in church for an hour and a half for the opportunity to get your hand in the plate, you should invest in an ipod with flesh-coloured earbuds. Otherwise, you may eventually get brain-washed.