My fiancé and I were together for about 4 years when all of the sudden- it ended. Basically we just became all about business- not so much fun. We talked about the travl plans, renting a new home, new vehicles- just business ya know.
It’s been a month and we’re trying to work things out- we both know we can’t be without each other- its just not right. We’re still planning our marriage- but more fun too. Problem: He ran into an old friend while were apart. They used to be good friends back in high school- apparently she works at the mall now. So her number is in his phone and they’ve been chit chatting. He checked out my phone and saw a few pictures and numbers and texts, which I’ve cut ties completely with whomever I was talking to while we were apart. I asked to see his phone. He wouldn’t show me. He says there are messages from her- personal ones- she needed his advice on some things. And because that’s his friend- he’s not telling her business. Read the extra details....its juicy
2006-07-11 06:54:01 · 10 answers · asked by Jessica S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I found his phone- he deleted messages from her and to her- but forgot one thing. A draft. Saying "You looked cute with the kids my sweet lips." Um…. How personal are we talking here. He's still wanting to get married and make up for the lost time- he swears homegirl is just a friend from school. She works at the build a bear place in the mall so i know the message is for her. Give him a chance and hope he loses the chick, confront him, or move on?
2006-07-11 06:54:29 · update #1
Trust and communication should always be number one in a relationship, if you can't trust the person you will always wonder if they are being faithful. If you don't have communication you can't work things out. I wouldn't move on until you confront him sit him down and let him know you love him but you are having trust issues so you had to check some things out (the phone) and didn't like what you found. Let him have a chance to be honest and upfront with you. There also should be no secrets in a marriage. Maybe (Remember I don't know him)he sleep with her after the two of you broke up and feels bad but don't know how to tell you. Let him know that it hurts you that he keeps secrets but if it was about when the two of you broke up you want to know but it doesn't effect your feelings for him. This can be very touchie but be honest and upfront with him, it is best for both of you. Good luck with the relationship.
2006-07-11 08:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't even believe you are asking this. I think you know the answer.
You found a draft that said "you looked sweet with the kids....." has he seen you with any kids lately? If not, he has some splainen to do.
How can you consider marrying someone when neither of you trust eachother?
Trust is a huge part of marriage. He really shouldn't be hiding anything from you and vice versa. Sounds like you are both a little dramatic.
Get out while you still can!
2006-07-11 07:40:13 · answer #2 · answered by irishcreaminator83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to confront the issue. and be honest - him not letting you see him phone drove you crazy and you took a peek without his permission and found the message, tell him there is no room for another woman in your lives. BEFORE YOU MARRY THIS MAN - You both need to address the trust issues. You either trust each other or you don't. but you need to trust each other before marriage. You might already have your answers...as hard as it is to face it. Be strong and if your the praying kind of girl - let God lead you, He will if you let Him. Good Luck! I'll be praying for God's will to be done in both your lives.
2006-07-11 09:26:51 · answer #3 · answered by Big Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him and if he said she is nothing than a friend? Then tell him that it bother you and if he doens; have anything to hide from u why would he have to delete all the message and why u didn't tell me about her?? Give him a week to cut that chick or you cut him loose you don't need a man like that in urs life???
2006-07-11 07:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by tanvo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He deleted the messages. He wants to get married and work things out ...you have to be firm and tell him that there is no room for another woman in your reltionship and that if she is just a friend then you would like to meet her too.
Good luck
2006-07-11 07:03:03 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront him. To me it sounds like he wants this girl to be a lot more than friends. If he loved you enough to marry you, he should love you enough to let you see what he's talking to her about, even if it's just to prove he's telling the truth. Don't let him hide from you.
2006-07-11 06:58:57 · answer #6 · answered by Risika Desaunt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call the wedding off. My gut feeling would be if he's messing around now, what's to say he wouldn't after the wedding? It will be that much worse when you're married and stuck with him if he cheats on you.
2006-07-11 09:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Courtney T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think now that he is an ex, there is reason for him to remain so. He probably wants to hook up with his old friend, too. Move on. You can find someone better - he sounds wayyy too young.
2006-07-11 07:05:11 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
many of the time... I have a tendency to smile in any respect of us and surely I do it certainly, yet when someone asks me a question and the answer isn't what they wnat to hearken to, I lie... so sure my smile is way extra trustworthy than my words many of the time....
2016-11-06 05:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definatly talk to him about it. he may get upset that you looked at his phone but he'll have to get over it. if he is serious about your relationship he needs to cut her off.
2006-07-11 08:23:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋