ok, before I asked how I should handle breaking up with my b/f, same one different plot. I am trying to figure out how can I leave him when his mom calls my house and visits my parents shop and tries to talk to me and my parents about keeping me and my b/f together!!! The guys mom is nuts and meddles...and he claims that if I leave him he'll be suicidal...but I'm not happy with him!! He wasn't the guy i started dating. I have found another guy I really like...and i don't know what to do. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!
2006-07-11 06:45:59 · 47 answers · asked by ~*Demented_little_me*~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you all for your help..I'll be honest and see what happens..if they harrs me I'll get a restraining order..THANK YOU!!!
2006-07-11 06:58:58 · update #1
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX His mom needs to stay out of your business. If you aren't happy stop stringing him along. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-11 06:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts some feelings, i doubt he'll really kill himself and i say this from being in a similar situation with my ex. the beautiful thing about breaking up is none of that is ur problem anymore, u no longer have to care anymore and as cold as that may sound u have to put urself first if ur not happy, get out. if he can't leave it at that and continues to herass u that what the police or for ( among other reasons) he'll back off eventually when he gets the picture he can't manipulate u with threats of self harm or even harm to u. Let him know ur seroius and u mean what u say, no mixed signals. Stop being the victim here and take control even if u have to be the ice queen for a while. I know its hard but u will feel better about urself in the long run for being assertive and standing up for urself, tell the parents and everyone else to butt ou and its not there business. This is ur life and u only get to live it once, so do whats best for u. Also make sure u are over all this emotionally before jumping in a nother relationship or it wiil cause problems later on so take it slow and explain to this new guy you like that u need time if u feel like u do, which u should do anyways because even if u think u don't u probably do and u don't need to carry aold relationship baggage into a new relationship
2006-07-11 06:58:22 · answer #2 · answered by M.C. Screwdriver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is all inside your head
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
it’s really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
it grieves me so
To see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
To make you smile again
I said I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways
why don’t we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You’ll begin to see the light
seriously though you're just going to have to confront the situation and take all the crap that comes at you.
2006-07-11 06:49:59 · answer #3 · answered by bryanocarr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think ur parents own a good shop, and they earn good profits. Any how, you must make your b/f and his mother realize of that u are too crazy for the same what they want, but this will take a time of almost 8 years.
Otherwise, let him suicide if he insist not to wait for 8 years, and look what happens. If he is true, he will wait and if not sincere, he will not. Experiment my suggestion and get rid of that problem.
Donot forget that if he fulfills her promise to wait you for 8 years, then you must also come up with your promise
2006-07-11 07:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by Neo K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off... If you are not happy with him... than dont be with him. If his mom meddles and likes to talk with your parents, tell them that this is a choice that you have made. If you don't love him it is the best thing to do to let him go. If you are woried about him becoming suicidal, tell your parents. They will know what to do. If your parents don't help with the mother of your soon to be ex... just tell her look. I don't want to be disrespectful, but I have to do what makes me happy. If I don't I will always be unhappy. It has gotten to the point that he is threatening me with suicide. I don't want that for him. I want him to be happy with me as a friend.
Hope this helps you... let me know how it turns out!!!
kfournet05@yahoo.com
2006-07-11 06:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by Krystyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not stay with someone because his mom is trying to meddle and he claims he will committ suicide. Chances are his claim is false--something just to keep you with him, desperate people do that at times. Just talk to them both, tell him that you guys are not working out and that you need to part ways and tell his mother to leave you alone and respect your wishes to no longer see her son. Be strong and do not let them manipulate you ok??
2006-07-11 06:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that guy sounds like he needs some physchological help.. what i'd do is I'd talk to my parents about it and then have them talk to his parents about it... or you could talk to HiM about it if you think that'd be easier... tell him that you're not the right girl for him, but there is someone out there that will love him someday. Tell him that you care about him, so you don't want him to become suicidal... but you really don't want to stay with him any longer. if he has a heart then he'll understand. I've been dumped and I know its not easy, so if he seems depressed for about 2 months and quiet, don't worry, he'll get over it with time. good luck!!
2006-07-11 06:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, breathe. If he says he will go suicidal, GET HIM SOME HELP. Sit him down, look him in the eye and tell him that he's not the same guy he was when you started dating and that you're just not happy, let him know that it's over. Tell him in a nice way, but not too nice. Tell your mom that it is completely over with him, and that you weren't happy with him.
2006-07-11 06:50:18 · answer #8 · answered by Namie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's trying to keep control over you by saying he'll be suicidal.. his mom does sound nuts, too... You need to begin with his mom, I think... When she calls, tell her you're sorry, but you and her son just don't belong together and it's time that you moved on. Maybe she'll be able to talk to him, and help him through this tough time for him... also, be honest with your parents, too. Maybe when she goes into your parent's shop they can bluntly tell her you do not want to be with him, and she needs to quit harrassing your parents just as he needs to quit harrassing you. I'm sure your parents are on your side, and need to let mom know that you staying with him is hurting you more than helping, and you're not truly happy.. Hopefully his mom will come to realize that her son needs to come to his senses, and know that you're not the only girl who can make him happy...
As for him.. he's an idiot.. he's only talking about suicide attempts to try to keep you with him. What he doesn't realize is that it drives you farther away because you feel trapped. You obviously care about him, but he needs to know that you're not happy anymore, and you need to be nothing but honest with him... speak up, don't be afraid to do so... change your phone# if you have to.
Wounds heal with time... he will get over you sooner or later.. he won't kill himself... he can live without you, he just doesn't want to. Be stern and serious about the point you want to get across without being mean and hurtful. You just have to tell him honestly "I'm not happy, and if you really care about me, you will allow me do what does make me happy".... that's all that should matter to him if he does really care.
Good luck.. I know it's not easy, but be honest, be strong, and don't let his self pitty keep you from doing what you need to do
2006-07-11 07:00:52 · answer #9 · answered by K.rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents and his mother can not make you do anything you don't want to do. If your relationship with him isn't what you want just let it go. Do what makes you happy? He needs counseling for telling you he is contemplating suicidal thoughts if you leave him. No one should want to kill themselves because the other party wants to break up. His mom and the boyfriend are trying to make you feel guilty. Just let him go and do whats best for you.
2006-07-11 06:53:31 · answer #10 · answered by strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are not happy, you have to break it off. You cant go living a lie for the next who knows how many years because he threatens you, just tell him..."well make it painless" and walk out the door. If his mom meddles, just tell her to F off to her face, and say listen i have had enough and I dont want to carry on with this lie. Or say sure I'll stay with him, get married, then sleep around and take half his sh1t in the process.....she'll proably agre with you then. I have had my heart broken before and I wish she had told me, I had to walk in on her sucking another guy's you know and I almost killed both of them.............not pretty.......so tell him what you feel and hopefully he agrees with you, you cant lie to yourself.
2006-07-11 06:51:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋