2006-07-11 06:38:54 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
because it can't fly!! Cheers!!
2006-07-11 06:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by [[keetr//mary]] 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ .....
REBOOT.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
2006-07-11 06:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get to the other side of course!
Why did Jesus cross the road?
Because he was nailed to the chicken!
2006-07-11 06:42:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
SOCRATES: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MILES DAVIS: That chicken was a ************.
ZOLTAN KODALY: Sol fa, so good.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it
transcended it.
CHARLES DICKENS: It is a far, far better road that he crossed than he had ever crossed before...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE: But soft, what bird on yonder asphalt trots?
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
DARWIN'S NEPHEW: Which came first, the chicken or the road?
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
JOHN GRISHAM: To escape the Klansmen.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. You see, to you the road represents the barrier between what is and what might be. What is…is you in front of the computer screen, practicing celibacy, peering into your mother's womb, wishing to be suckled at her breast (in this case, at the teats of internet knowledge and passive acceptance), hating the reflection in the screen that reminds you of your father, thinking how you life can never measure up… What might be, only the chicken knows, now that he has crossed...
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: No. The road represents the black man; the chicken is the white man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. The chicken is free to move, free to do as he pleases.
LEMMING: Which road? …I'm there!
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
HERITAGE SOCIETY: The fact that the chicken crossed the road without government assistance is but one more proof of the folly of continued spending on social welfare programs.
WILLIAM BUCKLEY: Before the chicken made the crossing, there was a pretty poultry number of birds on the far side of the road..
BILL CLINTON: I feel that chicken's pain as he stuggles to make the decision whether or not to cross the road...
[MONICA LEWINSKY: The chicken's pain isn't the only thing he felt.]
BILL CLINTON'S REPLY: That depends on how you define "chicken."
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
DARTH VADER: I am the chicken's father.
ENERGIZER BUNNY: [Commenting through his lawyer, he said that he was suing the chicken for shtick infringement.]
DAVID COPPERFIELD: I made the chicken disappear and reappear on the other side.
SAMMY HAGAR: Only time will tell if the chicken's crossing will stand the test of time.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
AGENT MULDER: Now Scully, try to follow me with this one. It may sound outrageous to you, but I think if you look at all the evidence, they will support my theory: The chicken is really an extraterrestrial being that has disguised itself in order to conduct secret experiments using humans for genetic hybridization. It had to get to its hidden laboratory which is located on the other side.
AGENT SCULLY: Why does everything have to involve aliens with you?! Can't you see the simple, logical, scientific explanation that the chicken was merely travelling along in a straight line that coincidentally cuts across the road?
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
MARIO ANDRETTI: (Splat!) Oh, sorry. That was a chicken?
2006-07-11 06:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know. What did chickens do before there were roads?
2006-07-11 06:41:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get to the other side.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
He had his penis stuck in the chicken.
2006-07-11 06:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by DiRTy D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because someone put them on the wrong side and the chicken wanted to get back to her chicks.
2006-07-11 06:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the chicken crossed the road because he saw KFC and got scared....
2006-07-11 06:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For Two Points.
2006-07-11 06:52:03 · answer #9 · answered by partydudette52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask not what a country can do for a chicken but what can a chicken doo for the country - simple lay an egg !
2006-07-11 06:43:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to cross the road where a good looking male chiick awaits.
2006-07-11 06:43:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋