I chose to be single over a year and a half ago after a bad relationship where my ex boyfriend chose drugs over me, I told him in the begining of the realtionship that I don't drink, smoke, or do/approve of any sort of drugs and when he started doing drugs I asked him to choose either the drugs or me and he left and it damaged me in ways i never thought it could, but lately have have felt lonely for a companion and have had many asking me out but I am afraid that it will happen to me again. Am I making the right decision to be single or should I take a chance and let someone new in with hopes of a better outcome?
another main thing is, I am a very indepenant person and consider myself strong, but still i am afraid of a reoccerance
2006-07-11 06:11:53 · 27 answers · asked by kalynn h 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am living my life to the fullest, just last saturday i went bunjee jumping off of a 500 ft jump but there are so many times where i just wish that I had someone to share it with besides family
2006-07-11 07:04:43 · update #1
Ok, first off, you are letting yourself be damaged by the boyfriend that left. You gave him an ultimatum, you stood your ground, and got rid of a bad person in your life. There is nothing wrong with that. Did you like him a lot? Sure, but you don't need that kind of person. If you are happy being single, then stay single. I don't think you are based on this question. Remember that just because one guy did that doesn't mean they all will. Will you get hurt in relationships? Absolutely. Even marriage doesn't free you from that, but that is life. You end up getting hurt, but you get up and keep going.
2006-07-11 06:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I do think you should take the chance and try. I don't believe in being single. We are social and very emotional beings. We need suport at all levels. We can live without it, but it's SO much better when we have it. And the kind of support I am talking about is the kind only a life partner could offer. All these doens't mean that you should make any compromises. You sound like a pretty strong person. Have trust in yourself. You deserve a good life by a good man. Don't settle for anything less. Be open, be careful and take your time. We learn a lot from our experiences. Use everything you've learn in choosing a good partner. And again, don't make compromises, that'd be a very wrong start in a relationship. Good luck to you.
2006-07-11 13:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by Style 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was the smart thing to do by being single for a year and a half after having your heart broken so it had time to mend but i think that you should start to try to see whats out there again just because one person couldnt see how good you are doesnt mean another wont . I too was in a very bad realtionship but decided not to let that affect my whole life now ive been with my fiance for 3 years and have 2 wonderfull children together. you see not all men are the same and it make take a couple of heart breaks to find the right person for you but take it from me its all worth it once you do! I hope you have the courage to try again! good luck
2006-07-11 13:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by sadbear420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If U feel lonely, then why don't U take a chance in being with someone? Ok.. this relationship was bad...awful even... but don't U deserve to be happy in the arms of somebody that actually loves U and care for U... U might have bad experiences, but U have to try... life is too short and U'll probably be better off taking risks in getting to know somebody than giving up on what makes life worth living: LOVE... take UR time and best of luck :)
2006-07-11 13:20:26 · answer #4 · answered by Celebriel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being single does not necessarily mean being alone, but the two are not inseparable. It does look like you have some decent principles, and you should definitely never compromise them just for the sake of companionship.
I would like to comment on the idea of being single. I was single until I was 33. I had exactly one serious relationship before that, but it didn't work out as it was long-distance. At that time, I was convinced that I would never have any companionship, and I mentally girded myself for that belief. However, that changed literally in two months as I went from believing that I was doomed to a single life to being married! It's been a couple of years, and we've had our ups and downs, but we are still together and going strong.
I suppose that the moral of this is to never close yourself off from the possibility of finding a companion. Who knows, it could happen in a week, a month, a year, or it might take a decade or two. My advice is to live single, but never believe that state to be perpetual unless you choose that for yourself.
2006-07-11 13:24:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how you may fear a new relationship...I'm sort of the same way in that respect but if you think that there is a chance that someone may make you think differently...then go for it!! You don't necessarily have to date tons of people just one or two and have fun....become friends first and make sure that they know that you are not looking for anything too serious too soon. On the other hand, if you sincerely feel that it's just not time yet, wait a little bit longer, everyone moves at their own pace and some people honestly enjoy being single.
Good Luck to you!!
2006-07-11 13:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being single is simply your choice, and if you are choosing to be single because you don't want to settle down, that's fine, but don't choose to be single because of an experience from a previous relationship. Everyone has their ups and downs in life and you have to live life to the fullest. Don't let your ex drug addict boyfriend allow you to miss out on a blessing of meeting and possibly starting a life with a nice man who sincerely loves you, and maybe one day ask for you hand in marriage.
2006-07-11 13:54:39 · answer #7 · answered by Pleasure 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living your life in fear of an event that is directly related to a specific relationship is not truly living your life. Your letting that one event stop you from loving and being love. A life without love is no life at all. You should take a chance on love. There are no guarantees that you won't get hurt again, but if you don't take a chance I can guarantee that you will never find love or fully enjoy the life you have.
2006-07-11 13:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand tall and proud. It is nice to see someone stand strong by their beliefs. When you are ready, truly ready, you will know. If it doesn't feel right to you right now then wait a little while. Don't force your self. I turned down a lot of dates before I met my husband, I was alone for along time too. But now I have been married for seven years, it really was worth the wait. Good luck to you, I hope it all works out well for you.
2006-07-11 13:19:19 · answer #9 · answered by celtic925 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the past in the past. If you bring past relationships in to the future it will not last. Just learn from your past and leave it at that. Let someone in your heart again. It will take time but you have to do it. There is someone out there that will treat and love you the way you should be. But you have to try or it will never happen. Good luck
2006-07-11 13:16:06 · answer #10 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋