If your child flunked in school, and had to go to summer school, would you still reward them?

Question

I hjave a frined who's daughter flucked the 6th grade, my friends mom (the kids grandma) is very controlling and holds over my friends head that she is living in her house, (my friend lives at one of her mom's rentals as a tenant), but her older daughter refuses to do chores, is a liar and has a moutyh on her towards her mom that i wish i could beat the crap out of her 99% of the time. Well thsi kids grandma wanted to send her on vacation, my friend said no, so grandma went ahead and got this kid a tv with dvd andvcr integrated, and mp4 player, numerous xbox games, a nintendo ds with a couple of games and even got her in soccer camp. My friend tries her best to stop it but since her mom is helping her financially and letting her pay the rent late and such she feels stuck! And now grandma expects my friend to still let her go on vacation! and to drive her daughter from one camp to another on a daily basis!! how unreasobable is this? Please people be honest here !!

this child has no dissabilities, my friend is a single mom of 3 kids and going to school full time to get out of renting from her mom. Her other 2 kids do have dissabilities one is autistic (4yr old boy) and the other has spina bifida and G6PD (2 year old girl), and my feind does wonders between working, going to school and taking care of her kids. But her mom doesn't see it at all!

Answer 1

My personal opinion is no.They screwed around all year till they ended up failing so they have to pay a price for their actions,just because they get a easy way out doesn't mean no difference all i can say she got a lucky break cause sometimes summer school isn't even offered at times .So to me that would of been her reward.And i wouldn't bought or done anything till the next year after her report card came home for the first time so i could of seen some grades and if they were good okay she would deserve something.She is getting spoiled bad and never getting punished for things she does wrong only makes the matters worse.She is going to be out of control one day expecting and demanding everything in life,i hate it for her too.And her attitude will be who cares cause ill get what i want anyway no matter what i do,so this kid needs her butt busted grounded and told to stay in her room and study till summer school is over,and let her know that if you do wrong you are going to get punished so good luck and i hope the grandmother stops before she creates a monster that she cant even destroy!!

Answer 2

Well, I don't se what the two have to do with eachother. If the kid "has" to go to summer school to be promoted to the next grade, having their summer taken from them should be punishment enough. Vacation can be an educational experience because the kids are being exposed to people, places, and things they wouldn't otherwise be seeing. If grandma wants to get said child a gift, why stop her? And repeating a grade is also sometimes beneficial. The school wanted to hold me back a year. I spent an extra semester in that grade, but because I was doing so well, my dad made them put me "back with my class" which really messed me up.

Answer 3

The first thing your friend should do is sell the gifts and find herself a new place to live so she isn't beholding to the mother for lodging.

This grandmother is doing great harm to the child, no wonder she's such a brat. If this child was mine it would be going to summer school for the entire summer and doing extra work at home for me and not having any fun.

Answer 4

It sounds like the grandmother has a few screws loose, and so does the mother, for letting her do this to her. If I were her, I would stand up to her and tell her no, even if she helps out financially, that doesn't buy her the right to dictate how she should live her life or raise her daughter. If she tries to give presents to the daughter, they will be returned unless she approves it first.

Answer 5

Well of course commen sense is to only reward for the good a child does. Never should it seem OK to continue to reward those that are not trying or doing less than satisfactory work because then they believe its ok to continue it. The mother should explain to the grandmother that this not ok and that what she does now will greatly affect her future. And to thank her for her help but now is not the time to be showering her grandchild with gift but helping academically

Answer 6

ur friend needs 2 get a grip on her life.take responsibility n get another apartment (pay bills like an adult has 2),tell her mother 2 get a life n stay out of hers,n punish that child until
1)she learns some respect
2)is doing well in school
3)is following the right path.

her mother is only going 2 do what she allows her 2 do n so is her child.

Answer 7

Maybe the child has issues...ADHD, ODD, IED, Autism... Maybe the grandma just wants the kid staying away for awhile. If the kid is playing games or gone the grandma doesn't need to stress.

Answer 8

that girl is going to be one big pain in the butt. your friend has to find a way to stay on her 2 feet, financially and move to another state, preferable on the other coast.
The girl will always do things her way as long as grandma is behind her. Grandma is making her a big spoiled brat.
Best way to go is for your friend to be financially stable and move as far away as possible from grandma.

Answer 9

I'd take some fun things away from that child. OR she needs to leave her mother's nest. She's not helping anything by letting her mother spoil her daughter. She will get more and more demanding as she gets older, she expects everything from her gramma now.

Answer 10

No if this girl flunked her high school class and she makin it up in summer school, she doesn't deserve a shower of gifts, cuz thats why she go there on the first place so that she can make up for it. If this girl gets showered with gifts all the time, she probably thinks that she can do this all the time, so no **** that ****.