My boy friend and I just had a baby 6 mo. ago, however he found someone else 4 mo. ago. Then 2 mo. ago he kicked me and the kids out, and moved her in. We'd been together for about 3 years, we were best friends also lovers. I'm devistated, I feel like I/we were replaced, he doesn't even spend much time with our son. Having a family with me was something he'd always wanted, his dream come true, then he threw it away, like it meant nothing to him, for this girl who doesn't even give a damn about her own kids! She's nothing but bad news, he knows it, but he still chose to be with her. There's nothing I can do, and I can't let him keep stringing me along. He crushed my heart, my dreams, and my world. I will not let him hurt me again, he had his chances and he blew them. Now I have to think about my babies, I've spent the last 2 mo. crying over him, but now I need to focus on my kids and give my love and my life to them, 'cause they need me and love me more than anything.
2006-07-11 05:45:55 · 22 answers · asked by sadgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hunny, you can do much better and you deserve much better. Right now you are very hurt and that is very understandable. Just don't rush into anything, i.e. other relationships. Take some time to let your heart think and time to move on. It's never going to heal completely, I know from personal experience. And you are right your kids need you as much as you need them right now. They need 100% of mommy's love. In time you will find someone that loves you more than he did and he will love your kids as well. I wish you and your kids the best of luck. You are strong. You will make it through this.
2006-07-11 05:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by babybro35 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off let me say how sorry I am for you. I know what you are feeling right now. My first husband did pretty much the same thing to me only it wasn't one relationship with another woman, it was 27 other women, and that's just the ones that admitted it. In the course of five years. He kicked me out 2 days after we put our first child to rest. Then we got together again, on our second child's second birthday I left him, that time for good. The whole marriage was just devastating. He was extremely abusive however, why it took 5 years for me to leave I don't think I'll ever know. I was so depressed after I left. I felt alone, lost, and empty. He got custody of our son(which now I have him) my whole world was falling apart. I thought I'm done, I will never love any one ever again. Then one day, I met this man and 7 years later we are still married, and very much in love. The point I am trying to convey to you is, it really hurts right now, and you feel like there is no hope and your heart has been ripped out, stomped on, chewed up and torn to bits twice over. Soon you will come to realize what a moron your ex is and how if it was that easy for him to discard you and your babies, than you don't need or want him in your life. He is the loosing here, not you. Good luck. Bless you.
2006-07-11 06:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by celtic925 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong, your thinking is correct. I know you have to be going through a lot right now. Mentally (taking care of your kids) and emotionally (the feeling that you had something great and he threw it away and your confidence, self worth, and self esteem is really low) you are tore up. you can't decide if you want to run back to him and keep him out of your head. Well to start, take a little time to lick your wounds. Gain your confidence and self esteem back to start. Know that you are somebody good. You sound like you like you have a lot to offer to the world. If your willing to invest in the idea of having a happy family, then I guarantee you that someone is out there ready to make you happy. But make sure you take your time about it. Don't go jumping into love right now because you are still very emotional, You'll believe the first great thing you hear and wind up getting hurt again. Just take your time. Invest it in your kids, love them right now and no one else. Mr. Right is just around the corner but no peeking. Don't go looking for him, he's out there. Go through some of these tough lonely nights and then god willing when you find Mr. Right, You will be happy forever and have no more lonely nights. Love is all you need
2006-07-11 06:07:12 · answer #3 · answered by j_a_f_79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an event that had repeated several time all over the world. The solution is good for the children when one of the enrolled people has the right comprehension of what life is for. That is your case. Go on your life as a conquer you are. Other opportunities will be opened for you. You are right, move your heart and mind to other place.
2006-07-11 06:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by vahucel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've decided to move on then you should get the most out of it. Your children is your life now, you need to keep your focus on raising your kids. I strongly suggest you go and talk to a social worker at your local government center. If not try to go visit a lawyer at least. They will give you good advise for what to do. If your stuck at financial matters, it's best to act early so that you can avoid any fix. I hope things will get better.
2006-07-11 05:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by IKNOWALL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I suggest that you find a way to get a steady income. However, you may have to sacrifice a few bucks if it means finding a place where you can have your kids there with you, or find a nursery. If you constantly care only about what you're going to do with you're future, you're present will seem hard. Go for the essentials first- home, income, food, and more importantly then any of that- constant love. I suggest telling you're kids you love them every night before they go to sleep. If you do, when they're old enough to comprehend you're words (4 or 5 years old) they'll start saying it back. And thats what will get you through you're life.
2006-07-11 05:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by Sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are already on the right track, you have counted your blessings and know what is good and bad in your life. Broken hearts won't kill you unless you let them, and your kids need you and your heart whole. Women have gone through this through time immemorial and have come through stronger. Take this as an opportunity to find out where you want to go with your life. A strong woman doing what she wants with her life, finding ways around obstacles and building a good life is a great role model for her children. Good luck to you, now go out and get a great life!
2006-07-11 05:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by Susan O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have the means to work? ya know to pay a sitter so that you can work and provide for your kids?
if you do that is a great start!! and since it is summer you might wanna check if you can transfer to another state before school starts!
the further you are from him the better!!
one thing is that if he is not supporting his child you are entitled to apply for assistance for the child, and if you really wanna mess with him, file for divorce, in many states living together as a common law marriage will entitle you to 50% of everything, and if you did not work during your union you are also entitle to spousal support. So if you wanna screw him the same way he screwed you then just do it!!! and most state legal services handle divorce cases for free!!!!
I do wish you the best of luck!!!
take care of you and the kids!!
2006-07-11 05:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by half insane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
begin with what u can do firstly and be good at it be absorbed in it to an extent that it can probably bring income or just mere satisfaction and a sense of worth and well-being. be involve in lives of your children. we all need companionship, friendship and love but if we give it to someone who does not want it or appreciate it and thus do not reciprocate that love then we feel lost and alone. but know this u are not alone and many women the world over has, have and are still beating that circumstance and becoming better persons for it. just reach out to others and help and see how much you can give of yourself to your kids.
take my dear u are valuable
2006-07-11 05:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry u had 2 go through that but put your babies first just like u said. God will deliver u and u will b better for it. I went through the same thing and decided to move away. When I came back I had a new lease on life. Now I'm getting ready to remarry but it took time. Your ex will have to answer for what he did and believe it or not he's going to find out that the grass was not greener on the other side but don't let him come walking back on your grass unless he's coming to play with the child. My prayers are with you and you will get through it but put God first.
2006-07-11 05:54:18 · answer #10 · answered by Cuddles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋