I am 35lbs overweight and I hate myself?

Question

I hate my life... I'm a single mom, work a crappy job with no hope of promotion or salary increase, I don't have a college degree and then I tried to go to school online and failed one class so I owe money for school. I can't date right now because I have been burned so many times I don't trust anyone and my self-esteem is low an ant couldn't pick it up. What should I do? I just feel generally crappy!!!

Answer 1

ever think you're depressed? maybe clinically?

do something for yourself. you said you're overweight? join a gym. my mom and i joinned curves, a gym for woman only. it was great, all the woman have a great time and talk and work out and its just fun. and you lose weight in the process! so then you might start feeling better about yourself and your appearance, making you feel more confident. that could lead to some good interviews. try a temp agency in your area. forget dating, for the time being. get to know yourself, hang with your girlfriends and live up life. you're a mom, so your happiness will effect your parenting and your selfestem will shine thru to your kid(s)

Answer 2

U seem stressed and that itsn't good for u or ur children. If I were U I would start with one issue at a time. Maybe Have some fun, and build ur self esteem. It sounds like u would feel better about urself if u lost some weight and regained confidence in men. I suggest setting a personal goal to loose weight, u should have fun doing it (maybe do it with some friends). Just set a plan for diet and excercise, and follow it. It should help for u to enjoy it more if u do it with a friend who wan'ts to loose some weight aswell. About dating, just wait untill ur ready, setup ur own life before u bring a guy into it. If u wait ur confidence will come, and when u choose a guy to date u will be more confident so that it wont matter to u asmuch if u get burned, and hopefully u'll wait and choose a guy that u trust not to upset u. About ur job, I would wait to tackle that, if u build ur selfesteem ur twice as likely to have the confidence to quite ur job, and get a new one. Also if u take those classes than u will be twice as likely to get hired, for a higher paying job, and even if u fail I wouldn't give up on education. A boss at a job interview will probably consider u more if u say "I'm taking classes" because then he knows that u are a determined worker and u want to bettern urself and ur job. Goodluck I hope this works for u!!!!!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry that you've come upon hard times. Try this exercise tonight...it worked for me. Tonight, after the kids are asleep, take pencil and paper and make a list. This is a list of all the things you hate about yourself. If you come up with 5, or if you come up with 100 things...write them down. Now, using a different colored ink, beside each thing you hate, write something you like about yourself. No matter how silly...but remember if you have 5 things you hate...you need 5 things you like. Now cut the paper in half and throw away all the stuff you hate. Put the paper of likes on the fridge. From this day forward, recognize the fact that you are a powerful woman...after all, you are a mom, you have a job even though you don't have a degree, you are secure enough that you don't need a man right now and that those 35 pounds are just a reminder that you are human. Then...get off your butt and start walking!! You just need to start looking at yourself differently!

Answer 4

I'm sorry about your situation. It has to be so difficult to hold it all together, plus try to make things better. Here is what I recommend;

1. Join a good church: there is so much SUPPORT in all areas available to you when you get into the right church.
2. Lean on friends and family a little if you can. Most of the time if people know you need them to watch the kids because you're doing something like going back to school, they are more likely to "help out".
3. Is the father giving you financial support? Your state should have a child support division that will go after him for child support. If you don't have it set up legally to where he has to pay you, I think it would be worth doing so you can get some financial help from him. It is his responsibility as well..
4. Check out your area for any "single parent" support groups. An organized group of single parents may have a TON of information on how you can achieve your goals and make a better life for you and your child(ren).
5. Pray, and don't hesitate asking people to pray for you. I have seen some amazing things happen through prayer.

I hope this helps you. Good luck, and hang in there!

Answer 5

First, if you sit all day--start moving a lot! Walk the stairs, refuse the elevator, park farther than you have to and walk to your workplace.

Sounds like the real problem is YOU. If you hate yourself, you will naturally lack the motivation it takes to do anything. Hence, all your above named failures. Once you accept where you're at and stand confront of a mirror naked, say to yourself..change is good and so am I. You need to be mentally healthy so that you can take care of your child. Not to date, not to obsess about poor you.

If you're in debt, ask why. If you're overweight, ask why. the answer is obvious, you are afraid of both failure and success. Does our company have employee assistance programs---star to check into over-eaters anonymous, emotional anonymous and maybe you'll learn to like yourself. Only, then can you begin to change all the things your hate and cannot accomplish.
as to dating, you have no business burdening someone else with your baggage right now. Deal with it, sister. when you take away all your excuses and whinging all you have left to look at is yourself. If you don't like it, change. If you're afraid of change, you're doomed.

Answer 6

Write a list of what you have to be thankful for. By reading your post I can see that you can be thankful for the following:
1. you have a job and are not unemployed.
2. you have a wonderful child.

Next, for every negative thought that you get often, find a positive affirmation to replace it. Write these down and post them around the house. Every time you go by where the affirmations are posted, say them out loud to yourself.

You could even put these on a paper and carry them around with you. Whenever you get a negative thought, repeat your affirmation (out loud if possible)

Here one for starters:
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord (God), 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jer 29:11

Remember you are a very special person. You can "do all things through Christ who strengthens you." Don't give up, keep pressing to your goals.

Answer 7

Only YOU can change your life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you're job is a dead-end job, find another. There are lots of grants, etc., out there for people just like you.

Stay away from men and get your life together, both for you and your children.

Good luck and hang in there!

Answer 8

Well atleast you have your children. Don't worry. Not dating for a while might be good. That means you wont date any jack---es. About the overweight stuff. There are several options. You can read about them all over yahoo answers. All these people here are here to help you. :) No worries.

Answer 9

First of all just know that you're a beautiful person, "Gods Beautiful Design". You're precious artwork.......anf you're here for a reason. We all go through struggles in our lives, I'm going through it too, but just stay strongh and put your complete TRUST in God....Simply pray about it. Also, if you don't like certain things in your life, CHANGE THEM......for example, eat healthier, drink lots of water, take multi-vitamins, go for walks wit your kids, things like that....

Answer 10

you need to know this,you are a beautiful,strong woman,who may have way too much to juggle,step back,look at yourself from the inside out,not the other way around.find your strengths ,work on those,negative thought lead to negative living,things do not have to be this way for you.ask all your negativity to get the hell out of your house,pull from your strengths,all will be OK.give yourself the power to make them OK.