Is my son lazy or just a boy?

Question

My son is 11 yrs old and I feel is very lazy. My husband and I have to literally push him to go play outside and play basketball or tell him to call his friends which he doesnt have many. I make a chore list for him to do on a daily basis and that can not even get done until the last minute and if I give him a chore to do that is not on the list its "can I do it in a little while?". We have enrolled him in golf leagues which he likes to golf and even past sports and he always wants to quit within 3 weeks of doing this sport. All he wants to do is sit in his room and watch TV or play playstation. He does ride or walk to his grandmas but all he does there is sit around. Its like pulling teeth to get his butt outside and play like normal kids. What should I do to get him outside more? I have taken TV and playstation away and he just sits in the house in his room. I am totally lost

tHE BOY IS 5'6 185

hE HAS BEEN TO THE DOCTOR WITH A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH

My husband is the step-father and a very active sports freak. He is going in for his 2nd back surgery and still does more. His real father has nothing to do with him but once a year. My husband has taking him golfing,football, baseball and fishing..

Answer 1

I wouldn't worry too much about his not playing with other kids. Maybe he's shy or doesn't relate well to kids his age. I was that way when I was a child except I holed up in my room to read. He does need to accept responsibility for getting his chores done. Our two boys, ages 11 and 10, would watch tv or play video games 24/7 if we let them but we have made that their reward for getting their chores done for the week. No chores done, no tv or video games. Our boys have tried to hole up in their room too but we decided that's not healthy so we stripped their rooms down to nothing but their bed and clothes. They got the hint and started spending more time outside.

Answer 2

Your son sounds EXACTLY like my son....he is now 16-1/2. FINALLY decided that since he got a FREE car from his grandparents (they so overindulge him) that he would get a job at Dairy Queen. He has a few "internet" friends, no friends to go out to socialize with. The only two he does have -- he is the boss of the situations.

I don't want to jump on the "disease" band wagon, but my son has been diagnosed with the ever popular ADHD!!! :) Since he was 3 -- and not by some 5 second fly-by-night money hungry doctor....multitude of tests.... Have you had him tested for bipolar, ADD or depression? The more negative you are with him the worse it will get.....they will start to actually believe it.

Does he get an allowance? Does he get a lot of positive praise, or just negative when he's been "naughty"? I found that you cannot be BUDDIES with your children -- hard as that is.

Sorry I don't have any cure for you just a lending ear -- I just put my foot down and insist he do what I want and that typically works --

Answer 3

Do you go outside and do activities as well? He will be more motivated to be outside if he sees others doing it. I know when I was growing up, I was all about being outside, especially when my parents were out doing things.

As far as types of activities, do you have a YMCA in your neighborhood? That's a great place for a variety of activities (swimming, basketball, etc.), and it's relatively inexpensive by gym membership standards. Also, you may want to ask around in your community, as they may have organized activities on a regular basis for kids his age, like baseball or soccer.

Worst case scenario, limit his TV watching and PlayStation playing time to only so much per day. Bribery works as well. If he gets his chores done, he earns an extra hour of PlayStation time. Something like that.

Answer 4

I am the same way. and I just turned 24 today. Growing up that's all I wanted to do was watch TV and play Sega. My parents started sending me during the summer to my Grand Fathers ranch to work with his horses, I loved it but thinking back when I got home after the summer was over back to the TV. I realized now that it's because my family never did anything together, they wanted me to go play outside by myself but my Gpa would always be with me getting rocks from the pasture stream, moving hay. So I would say find outdoor things to do as a family first couple of time probly want be that great for him but dint give up keep doing outdoor things with the whole family or he might end up like me I'm 6'5" and about 290lbs with a bad knee and back. So i pledge last night that every night me and my little girl who will be 2 next month to go for a walk around the block and on weekends we will go to a nature park or for a walk around the ponds in my area. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

He is lazy, and if you dont do something he will end up being very unhealthy and 500 pounds. Make him go outside, dont give him things to keep him busy inside. My son is 7 and he mows the lawn, cleans up the dog crap, weeds the yard, helps wash the cars, and so on. Then he is still constantly asking to go ride his bike and play with the neighborhood kids. He needs structure and discipline. You have let he be his own boss for too long. Take away the tv, playstation, etc... Make him find something to do outside. This time of year, we should all be spending hours on end outside in the natural environment.

Answer 6

I think today's kids are too stuck on entertainment and don't get enough excercise outside of the home. I say, your son is a little overweight for his height and should be actively participating in some physical activity that doesn't include excercising his thumbs. Take away his playstation or limit and monitor his use of it along with the tv...Oh..he might be an introvert so take that into consideration if he doesn't want to participate in sports.

Answer 7

He sounds just like my 9 yr old son. And I am wondering the same thing. I have 2 girls, ages 8 and 5. They are very helpful around the house, picking up their rooms, etc. The enjoy playing outside, practicing soccer and jumping on the trampoline. My son wants nothing to do with these activities. So I am debating on whether or not its just a boy thing, or if this kid is really just lazy.

Answer 8

Maybe he's anemic. Have you had him checked by a doctor to rule out any health issues, like a thyroid disorder or iron deficiency- those could be making him tired, thus the lack of energy. He could also be lazy, and you may just have to go into his room and take away the TV and the playstation for awhile, so he'll get motivated to do something a little more appropriate for his age. Maybe you could go outside with him, play catch, go to the pool, park, or zoo together. Kids need family time too, this could help you do both.

Answer 9

There is no such thing as laziness. Any such person could be suffering from depression and one of its many symptoms is lethargy.

You might want to take your son to the doctor and have him tested for depression. If he is given therapy and medication, he might eventually become self-motivated.

Also, make sure that he's not being bullied in school or with other peers. This could be a reason he doesn't want to interact with others.

Ultimately, there are worse things than simply wanting to sit in his room and watch TV or play playstation. He could be out there making trouble and wreaking havoc on others, or even falling under negative peer influence.

Conclusion: Have him checked out for depression; investigate whether he's being bullied, and ultimately if it is none of the above, let him be and count your blessings, because it could be worse.

Answer 10

Leave the boy alone and try to see what are his interests. If he likes watching TV then get him to study film and be a great actor or director. If he likes playing play station then encourage him to be the best game player.

I had similar experience with my parents when I was young. My mother hated I played video game and constantly tried to have me study and enroll in activities. My father was always away on oil rig in saudi. When he came back when I was 12, he caught me playing video game at local arcade, I thought I was going to die but instead he saw how great I played and gave me money to play more. About 6 years later when I went off to college to study computer science he said to me that I'd make a great game programmer.

I'm 33 and I still recall that day, althought I didn't make it as a game programmer, I make over $100,000 a year working as a computer consultant to the Feds.