Why do people, even complete stangers, feel that it is within their right to ask parents of only children why they are not having more kids? I think that is a very personal question, as many people have medical reasons or otherwise that are private...and many people bring it up in front of the child, too. Have you ever asked or been asked?? What do you think about this issue?
2006-07-11 03:56:12 · 18 answers · asked by LuLuBelle 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
oh sweetie, i do understand, i have one son. it took me almost 8 years to get pregnant with him, before i had him rude people and friends! would ask(dont you like children?) because , i had been married 10 years and still had not had any. dang it ..i was trying and would cry each time my period came, and it was a mirical that i had him! then the dr. told me not to try and have another, i was very high risk because i have seizures. still everyone ask are you going to have him a little sister or brother? right in front of him, it would hurt me so much, then i would have to try and explain to my son that mommy cant have anymore! i did not feel i needed to tell everyone that i could not, and it hurt my feelings so much. so yes i really do know where your coming from on this one. good luck and GOD BLESS.
2006-07-11 04:25:11 · answer #1 · answered by reann4239 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My sister got pregnant when she was over 35, her health was not the best to begin with and the baby was delivered by Csection two weeks early. She was going to a routine checkup and the doctor was so alarmed at her symtoms he immediately had her checked into the hospital for preclampsia. She was lucky and her child was delivered in perfectly good health. Of course, no more kids, but she has had people ask her that, if its a man she usually asks if he's volunteering for the task with all the medical bills involved and future child support, and if its a woman she says my medical condition cannot guarantee either of us surviving, why should I risk it? Her daughter wanted a little sister or brother for a short time but grew out of it, and my kids sort of filled in, she had the opportunity of watching a baby develop and grow. Now she complains about what a nag her 4 and a half year old cousin is. My sister also had a talk with her and she understood the medical reasons for that decision. Her dad also explained the medical reasons which sort of rounded it off.
People think it's a normal question because that is what they have been taught marriage is all about, having children and raising children. It's like when they say, you already have a boy, aren't you going for the girl? or viceversa, even my OB and pediatrician, right after delivering my second daughter by Csection again, and just a few days shy of my 40th. BDay, both said well, you are in top shape, will I be seeing you here next year to deliver a boy? All I said was nope, this production line is closing down.
People think its normal to ask. Really.
2006-07-11 11:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by Karan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so rude. Ppl just don't think before they open their mouth. When I was prego w/#2 which we planned to be our last it was a our second boy. Everyone would say ohhh you gotta keep trying for your girl why are you stopping. Hello?! I didn't even want a girl and what is it like baseball cards I keep collecting until I get the Pink card and then I stop. It's just the stupidest thing. They walk away still wondering why I wouldn't want a girl...I walk away wondering why they are such an idiot.
If your not having more kids because of personal reasons say 'that is personal'...that will shut them up. After I got sick of the girl questions my response turned to "i can not afford any more kids" for some reason that clicked like 'ohhh yeah kids cost money' not as fun as baseball cards.
2006-07-11 11:41:30 · answer #3 · answered by MaryJaneD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a three year old daughter, and I get asked all the time, I just blow it off and say maybe another one, maybe not. And really, when we think about it, my husband and I are swaying between whether we want another one or not. Right now, it's just not financially possible. People like to butt in to other people's lives I think because everyone likes to think that their opinion is right. I suppose the best thing to do would be to blow off the question, and if it's asked of you in front of your child, you could talk to the person who asked later and tell them to please not bring it up in front of your child, that the decision is ultimately yours if you want more kids or not.
2006-07-11 11:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Luveniar♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been asked this question a lot and it drives me nuts. I would love to have more children. However, due to medical reasons I can not have anymore. I have even had people ask me when the baby is due. (You know the pre-menstrual bloating.) I have a good outlook on my situation and plan to adopt in a few years. However, it still hurts that everyone brings it up.
2006-07-11 11:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by la_diablita_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the opposite happen to me. When I was pregnant with my daughter and people found out I had my son too they always said stuff like, "And then you're done, right?". I don't know what that was about. Yeah, it is snoopy asking either way. It is a very personal thing and it's rude of them to ask.
2006-07-11 13:11:36 · answer #6 · answered by miss_bea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get asked alot if we will try for a girl, since we have two boys. I just smile and say" Nope, two boys are all I need!" Just when they ask tell them you are happy with your family size. They really dont mean any harm by it and just wonder if you want another baby. Having kids is exciting and they just wonder if you want to do it again. Please dont let it get to you. Now if they try to make you feel bad for not having another and push the issue, thats a different story. Just be confident in your answer and hopefully they will just drop it. gl!
2006-07-11 11:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by The Kings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have three sons and people ask me all the time if I'm going to try for a girl. Drives me nuts. It's as if my life has no meaning because I don't have at least one of each. I got my tubes tied. I'm done having kids. I'm perfectly happy with my three boys. Three is plenty!
2006-07-11 11:00:17 · answer #8 · answered by blondeqtpie13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all the time I have an only child and for medial reasons I have no more. I tell them that I would like to live to see what I produce and they normally walk away with there jaw open. Right to the point and it shows that next time they should think before they open there mouth.
2006-07-11 11:03:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are probably always run into rude jerks. If the child is present, say "My child is SO special that I see the need to have another"
Another approach is when they ask, you ask them why they want to know. Maybe they will get the hint that they are being too nosy. Or as we say in Pittsburgh, "nebby" :)
2006-07-11 11:03:57 · answer #10 · answered by groomingdiva_pgh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋