Do girls consider long pauses in conversation a sign of stupidity?

Question

when i talk, i struggle to find what to say, after i have finished discussing something. i'm a guy 26. I rarely talk to talkative people , last weekend i talked to a girl, and she's a foreigner and she also had nothing to say at times and i struggled to find a topic, or something..Even her, i felt like she thought i was stupid.. but imagine with an outgoing american girl, she would definintely think i'm cr*p, right?

Answer 1

Yeah same here. I may think we have nothing in common, though.

Answer 2

Some people see a lull in conversations as a problem. However for me if the guy has nothing to say, thats not a problem really, atleast not for me. I don't mind keeping the conversation going. Its a known fact that men are not normally talkative and there are some women that make up for it. No, its not a sign of stupidity. But it can be a problem when a woman wants to talk a something she considers important and the guy is just monosyllabic. Verbal communication is not the only form of communication between two people. There's a popular saying that goes "A friend is someone that you can sit silently with, get up and knowing that you just had the best conversation ever" (or something along that line). Don't worry about it. Rememebr chemistry with different people will bring out different qualities. Maybe you were just too nervous or shy and she was feeling the same way. Don't rush it, let it flow when it should. Don't open your mouth too quick and then end up saying the wrong thing. Conversation will flow eventually.

Answer 3

People often try to fill silent gaps in conversations with meaningless,pointless,empty words.
We must accept that we dont always have something to say,and if both persons become silent, try not to become too uneasy.When we become too uneasy the fact that we are struggling becomes evident and this makes conversation more difficult.
First of all you must "be yourself". If you can be 'real' inconversation and not pretend to be more... or less...then you will be at ease,and put the other person at ease, you'll be able to think clearer,and conversation wont beso hard for any of you. Just "let it flow" and dont just chat-on but take cues from the other person's body language etc whether something is worth talking about.
you often find that you have a lot more to say with people who share similar experiences,have things in common or similar concerns. If you find that you struggle to find things to say maybe it would be good to think of some of the things you could talk about beforehand,which you dont necessarily have to stick to.
By the way, talkative people love to hang around people who are good listeners. ALL THE BEST TO YOU!

Answer 4

Not at all. Sometimes silence is good in a conversation. It can be awkward when you first start dating someone, but I'm one of those weird people when that happens that says, "Awkward silence..." to fill the gap. It usually gets the guy to laugh and then we find something to talk about. Maybe you could try that while thinking of something to say. Also, be aware of your surroundings because having something visual you can point to and talk about might avoid those pauses.

Hope I helped! :)

Answer 5

i hate the long pause, try and think of stuff to talk about before you call her. when the long pause starts talk about what you thought of, or say can you hold on a minute, wait like a min or two and come back and try and start the conversation back up

Answer 6

well i know for one that when i am on a phone with a guy and there is an awkward silence it scares the crap out of me i get so nervous and i want to hang up the phone so i just pick any topic like so hows work, are your parents doin good, so hows your summer been goin, thinkin about goin on vacation? just anything to keep the conversation up because not only is it scary for u, it is also for the girls.

Answer 7

not allways, unless you look stupid too. But no, sounds fine, everyone is different and to think b4 you speak is a quality alot of people would benefit from. Maybe you both felt awkward with nothing to say, but thats fine too, better than waffleing a load of rubbish.

Answer 8

No. It is normal to have a lull when talking to some people. You tried to think about a new topic as quickly as possible and did your best. You need to tell that little doubting voice in your head to shut up and leave you alone.

Answer 9

no some women like the strong silent type, I know I do. Sometimes women want an answer right then and feel that if you have to think about it or not saying anything you aren't listening. it is hard to say sometimes maybe this girl likes youtoo and doesn't know the right thing say.

Answer 10

No, a pauses doesn't necessarily mean that. I am one girl who really doesn't like to talk, so no I don't think that is stupidity. Unless you say uhhhh with a dumb look on your face, then yea maybe stupidity.

Answer 11

No, you need to seek ouot more outgoing people that like to talk, most people just want to hear themselves talk, esp women, bla bla bla, they love to talk abotu nothing for hours.

Most women complain men dont listen enough, so talk alittle but ask them questions about themselves what they like to do, ask them about vacations, this always is a winner with girls, don't ask about ex boyfriends, never bring it up, ask about thier family, pets, food, weather, stay away from politics and religion, your probably going to disagree with them about that anyways.