I need advice on how to control my 9 year old boy!?

Question

My son is 9 years old and he is constantly trying to set things on fire. He will do it anywhere from outside to inside the house. One night I woke up cause I could smell something burning, I went downstairs the smell was coming from my daughters room, where my son had slept that night. My daughter was sleeping upstairs. My son was not in there when I entered, but her garbage can was full of ashes from papers he was burning. Then last night I went upstairs to check on him and my other son and the bathroom stunk like smoke. I found pieces of toilet paper where the corners had been burnt. I do not know how to brake him of this, but it is scary to know that your child is playing around with fire. I have tried grounding him to his room, taking everything out except his bed and dresser. Everything I have tried does not seem to work. Does anyone have any advice on what I could possibly do with him?

Answer 1

http://www.usfa.dhs.gov/safety/atrisk/children/curious.shtm

Please review this site for some help in regard to your son.

I would also advise taking your son in a supportive teaching manner to your local fire department and to the children's burn unit at your local hospital. This is a way of teaching your child in a positive way and not reacting in a way your child may find exciting by maybe you yelling out of fear from this type of behavior.

Good luck~!~

~Peace,Love,Health & Happiness~ Extended to you and your family.

Answer 2

Um, how is he setting fire. Take all things that could cause a fire away from him and hide them. It's like owning a gun as a parent, children need to be shown what is right and wrong about it. explain it to them, and then leave it out of their reach. My brother had this addiction when we were younger. My parents had to hide all matches and stuff where he couldn't get to it, and every time he did something bad regarding fire, you need to punish by making him sit on the couch or wherever you are and do nothing for the whole day, you can't let them win, obviously there is a bit of neglegence on your part if he is finding something to start fires, not to be juedgemental, but obviously you are not doing something to prevent this. Smokey the bear says "Only you can prevent forest fires." Well only you can prevent this house hold fire. Get rid of BBQ lighters, regular ligthers, matches, anything that sparks. If none of this works, take him to a child psychologist because he is a pyromaniac and that can lead to violent tendencies through the use of fire.

Answer 3

I have a almost eight year old nephew who is a firebug, too...not that extreme however. First, eliminate all lighters, matches, candles, etc. from your house....if you need to keep some around, keep them in a locked box/cabinet and keep the key on your person. Second, seek some counseling for him. Insurance should cover it as should public aid. Even if not, it is Necessary to seek this help for your child's well-being as well as everyone else around him. This is a habit which could kill. Third, hang in there, research support groups, and talk to his doctor as well. Good luck!
You could also try showing him a few pictures of burn victims, especially kids. maybe you can scare him into stopping. a few nightmares are definitely better than losing your son or your house.

Answer 4

take away whatever it is he uses to create the fire first and what happen to a good old fashioned wooping? that was how i was disaplined as a child, and believe you me, im still only a teen (live on my own now) but i wouldnt even be phased by a grounded or even extreme punishments. But a spanking, and not a gental one.. a painful one oh lord, i wouldnt ever do what ever it was i did again. just dont break anything on the child including skin, and make sure it remains on the booty only, anything more than that, and i am completely against it and it can be looked at as abuse, you certainly dont want that.

Answer 5

wow you have a pyro on your hands. this could really find you and your family in a serious problem. Take him to a doctor. Make sure you lock everything that can make fire (like matches and lighters) up where he cannot get to. Then get him to a doctor, or someone who can help like a hypnotherapist. This could hinder him in the long run if he does not learn to control this. doctor. today!

Answer 6

He definetly has a problem and a visit to a counselor is warranted. The next time he does it, call the Police. Explain his problem and that you want them to come to your home ASAP. Someone in authority may have a better influence on him. You better take care of this right away before your house and family goes up in flames.

Answer 7

He needs to see a psychiatrist. I am sorry to tell you this but playing with fire is one of the characteristics of a deranged person.ie: serial killers. If you notice him being mean to animals, that's another sign. I am NOT kidding, you better take him to see someone that is more qualified to help him than you are. Your son is not displaying normal behaviors. You are probably not going to choose me for best answer, because what I said probably pissed you off. But, I can't help it, it's the truth.

Answer 8

I think he may need professional help to find out WHY he's lighting things on fire. You can't control him and keep him from obtaining lighters and matches and it's just a matter of time before something gets out of control. Find out WHY he's doing it.. don't try to stop him from doing it.

Answer 9

Contact your local fire department. They can help you, there are smoke houses your son can tour. It should give him qiute a scare. Also you may want to try removing lighters and what not.

Answer 10

Try your best to not keep matches, lighters, etc. in the house, or if you use them on a regular basis, lock them up or hide them from him. Also, I have heard that the book "Assertive Discipline" for parents is really good. I haven't read it but you might try that.