What do you think...?

Question

My neighbor's 15 year old nephew is visiting. He came over last week to ask my 8 year old daughter to ride bikes with him around the neighborhood. He did not ask me...he asked her.
She came in and asked me if she could. I told her no, and not to hang around him at all. I thought it was very odd that a teenager wanted to play with an 8 year old.
There are several teen boys in the neighborhood for him to hang out with, but he insists on only being with the younger girls.
Now, his aunt is complaining that I was out of line for not allowing him to play with her and went out of her way to tell my children that I am 'mean'. She didn't bother to come talk to me personally.

I say I did the right thing, and if that makes me mean, then so be it.

What do you think?

Answer 1

you did the right thing....it sounds like that 15 year old is somebody your gonna have to watch out for because that is very odd behavior when a 15 year old boy wants to play with an 8 year old girl..they have nothing in common...hmmmmmmm

I have seen so many of these Dateline NBC ..Computer predator stories that it makes me leery of any man wanting to play with any children whether online or off. I dont care if he is a teen or not ..he is suspect to me. That little boy is probably a child molester in the making so I would DEFINETLY keep him away from ALL of my children and property.

That may be a harsh statement , but wake up people we live in a harsh world...I wouldn't trust anybody when it comes to my children...have you seen those Dateline NBC specials..you have 65 year old men and rabbi's (jewish priest) coming to meet and have sex with 13 year old boys and girls...its just sickening..

So I will repeat what I said "you did the right thing, and please continue to watch your daughter around anyone because your childs only protector is you"

Answer 2

You did the right thing. It's weird that the boy's aunt doesn't find her nephews actions out of line. Does she not have any kids? If you felt at all like your daughter wouldn't be in a safe situation, then you don't have to explain to anybody why you did what you did. As a mom it is your job to protect her and that is what you did. There is nothing this boy could have in common with your daughter. I do think that you should approach his aunt and tell her that she has no right calling you names to your children. If you feel the need, explain to her why you did what you did. If she still doesn't get it, then don't waste your time on her. Sure, we can always give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just being nice and was inviting her for a ride around the block. But I would of done what you did. I would also mention it to other neighbors if they have young children, boys or girls.

Answer 3

You did the right thing MOM. It is our responsibility to keep our children save. Too many things have happen to children because parents don't really think things through. You have a good head on your shoulders and do not feel bad. You are just trying to protect your daughter from any potential harm. A fifteen year old should not being hanging out with an eight year old. An eight year old girl is very vulnerable to a fifteen year old in the middle of puberty. If their were more parents like you maybe the children who have been molested by a family member wouldn't have been. Every parent has to think of the consequences of their decisions. Our children no matter what age, need parents to make responsible decision's on their behalf. Being a parent isn't always being nice. Your aunt is not using her head in this situation. Thank god you were. A mothers instinct should not be ignored. You always hear mothers say in the event of a tragedy concerning their children "I just knew something wasn't right".

Answer 4

It is always your decision and it isn't wrong for you to be watchful. What ever makes you feel comfortable.

However to give you an example of this not being odd behavior: my son is 15 and doesn't make friends easily with other kids his age. When my friend's daughter comes over (she is 8) they play well together. They watch TV, play video games and play outside in my 2 year old's sandbox.
Girls who are 15yrs play with girls that are younger. Not every 15 year old boy is a pedophile or a potential pedophile.

It shouldn't be assume that just because there are other kids his age he would want to "play" with them, especially if he is there only for a visit. Have you been around 15yr old boys much? Do you remember being 15? It is rough breaking into the group. The younger kids are more accepting and easier to get along with - especially if he is going to be there a short time and he just want to have fun- this isn't odd.

I say you did the right thing because I assume you don't know anything about the boy. However, I don't see anything wrong with supervised play.

As for the woman going behind your back and calling you mean: did you ever bother to speak to her personally about her nephew's actions?
Did you bother to speak to him?

I think there is lack of communication between the adults on this issue.

Answer 5

I do find it slighty odd that a 15 y.o. wants to play w/an 8 y.o girl. What do they have in common?? 8 y.o. are more simple while 15 is very complex...heck he is almost able to drive a car.
But the other side is, it was just to ride bikes. So perhaps I would have let her but I would have sat out and watched them play. That would either make the 15 y.o. feel real uncomfortable (if he was thinking something bad) or it wouldn't bother him and they just would have played. Perhaps he is slow or something? I am not trying to be mean but you know what I am saying? That he is slow and doesn't see the diff of him and a 8 y.o.

As for your neighbor I think you have to be the bigger adult and go over and say "sorry I am just for the life of me trying to figure out why and 15 y.o. would want to play w/my 8 y.o. it just seems a little odd to me, I wasn't trying to be mean and don't appreciate you saying that"

Answer 6

I think that you did the right thing. It sounds very odd that someone that is 15 wanted to go out of his way and ride bikes with an 8 year old.

Answer 7

I think you did the right thing too. What mother in their right mind would let their 8 year old daughter play with a 15 year old boy. I can't believe his aunt didn't see anything wrong with that. So what if they think you are mean you're protecting your child and that's all that matters!!!

The world needs more great moms like you!!!

Answer 8

You are a great MOM! I would not let a 15 year old boy play with my boys, much less my daughter. We have to protect our kids, that is the charge God gave us when we became parents. I had a 15 year old neighbor boy who wanted to only play with the little kids, not teenagers. I never trusted my kids out to play when he was there, he would come knock on the door to ask for them to come out, take their toys so that they would chase after him, etc. I say you can not be too safe in today's life.

And to the neighbor who was saying you were "mean" tell her to get a life. That you have a right to protect your kids and that you hope one day her nephew isn't convicted of child molestation.

Answer 9

Who cares what his aunt thinks? You did absolutely the right thing and if I were you I wouldn't waste another minute thinking about this. Even if there were no other children for him to play with him playing with an 8 year old boy or girl is unacceptable. Let it go.

Answer 10

You already received many answers in favor of your opinion. I just want add that you are a parent. You have right to decide what is good for an 8 years-old child. This is also your task as a parent. Everyone can have opinion that, but you don't have to accept strong criticism. It is your responsibility to keep your children safe, and grow them up to be behaving adults. If you decide that something is wrong, keep them away of that. Doesn't matter what other parents say. There is no guarantee that they are right.