My son who is just 2 years old but very naughty. Now-a-days he has become very stubborn. How can I change him?

Question

Although we try our level best not to loose patience but sometimes I have to give him a small slap to bring in control, which we don't want to. What to do?

Answer 1

I have the world's most stubborn child, so I feel for you. We spank our daughter as well, but never out of anger. I tell her if she does something again, I will spank her bottom. Many times she looks me dead in the eye and does it again to test me. I think at the ages of 2-3 children are trying to find their place in the family. You have to let them know you are in charge. That being said, with a stubborn child, pick your battles. If my daughter wants cheese and crackers for dinner instead of what I cook, I let her do so if she says please. Lately I have tried something that has worked really well. I made a little chart on the fridge with places to fill in with stickers. It has a picture of an ear. (we have "good listening ears" when we do what we are told) Everytime she does something I ask her to do, especially diffucult things like leave a game, or take a nap, we fill in a circle . After 10 (you may want to try 5 for younger) we get a treat. The treats are pulled out of a box. They are little things like blowing bubbles, swinging outside, eating popcorn, extra time with mommy or daddy, calling a grandparent, etc. My girl has taken to it, especially with the help of her dad, who asks as soon as he gets home about the chart. The trick is, the child has to be successful the first day on the chart or it won't work. As you progress, you can also take away stickers for "bad ears" . Start positive first, though, and stick with it. Discipline should be consistant and predictable by the child. Good luck, remember, stubborn kids often grow up to be leaders.

Answer 2

At this age, they are trying to test you to find out how far they can push you, and whether they can get their way. The most important thing that you have to keep in mind is that this is the MOST important age to show your child who is boss! I am telling you, if you don't really put your foot down now, he will continue this type of behavior forever. Don't be afraid to discipline with a little hit on the behind or wrist. You don't have to hurt him, just scare him a little, so he will know that YOU say what goes. If you don't do this consistently, you will regret it, because then it will turn into the terrible 3's, 4's, 5's and probably much more. I assure you that a small slap will not scar or hurt him in the long run. It will only hurt him if you don't use this type of discipline. And if you do this consistently for a couple of weeks, he will start to catch on, and you wont have to do it as much, more and more. Remember, if you don't do this, it will just be a battle between you and him, forever! And that will hurt both you and him so much more in the long run than a little slap on the wrist now. As long as you know how to show him you still love him, it will be fine. Children are not usually afraid of their parents simply yelling or telling them stirnly not to do something. If you give him time out, that might work for the momement, but I think it is more cruel to do that than to hit on the wrist because he wont understand why he has to be alone, because a child that age is not supposed to be left alone. I think that is more traumatic than a quick slap on the wrist. A lesson learned faster is a battle less fierce. Good luck.

Answer 3

Be as consistent as possible and keep being as patient as possible. Try to stop him from doing something before he does it, instead of waiting for him to do it, then getting mad. You can usually tell when the kid is about to do something. And being only two, you can easily distract him most of the time. Otherwise every time he does it, react the same way, make it unpleasant but not unbearable. And if you are losing patience remove him and yourself from the situation, go outside with him, put him in the playpen for a few minutes, go to another room with him. Whatever you gotta do till you can cool off. He'll get the message, and then move on to some other really annoying thing. Good luck.

Answer 4

Its hard too disipline a kid that is your pride and joy . if he is naughty . When I displined my 3 kids I hated it because it hurt me more to use my means of disipline . I used a paint stick that was wrapped buy duct tape . there were 4 sticks that were bound toughter . when I spanked their bottoms the sticks would make a louder noise but would be as not as forceful or hurtful to them . The whole effect was for them to hear the snapping noise . when I lightly touched there bottoms . after doing this a few times . I would only show them the paint stick . they would remember how its sounded and felt . they would not challenge me again . Its Important to know that your child is really asking you to set boundrys . if the same thing occurs .or the same behavior occurs , or the same offense occurs , You must set the boundrys , I always said to my kids . why I was disipling them and that I had too do so in order too teach them what that boundry was . . My kids Today are in there teens and rarley do I have any problems with thier behavior , they are respectful , honest and willing too talk too resolve issues . I belive 2 years old is a time now too enforce the boudrys that you set . get the eveil out of them now , by being gentle and firm . and I belive that you will have no problems later . its critical too establash in there minds that you are their loving authority . I hope I have helped

Answer 5

Well I think You should play with him give him your time talk to him always be with him make him feel he has a father who will be always be there for him when he be naughty tell him bad boy when he bes a good boy say good boy and kiss him and then he will be an angel trust me my son was so naughty but what I did what I told you and he become so good and nice and mannered like an angel ok and never slap him that would never do anything ok With best luck : Kate R

Answer 6

Welcome to the "Terrible 2's!" (And 3's, and 4's and well... all of them!) It sounds like you need to help your son identify his emotions. He's probably getting out of control because he doesn't know what he's feeling and why or what to do with them. So the next time he gets angry at something, pick him up and explain to him that it's OK to be mad, and that you understand that (whatever made him mad) makes him upset. And then ask him what you can do to fix it. He may not be able to tell you what needs fixing, but chances are you'll already know, just explain things to him as you're doing them.

If he's throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way, I found the best cure is to ignore it. It's hard to do, but if he gets no reaction what-so-ever out of you when he throws a temper tantrum, he'll realize that they don't work, and they'll eventually stop. Try to have a magazine near by if you need help to hide an angry face or even a giggle when it starts up. It worked like a charm with my son. He rarely throws tantrums now, and when he does, they're usually in front of his grandparents, because he KNOWS they'll give in!

Good luck!

Answer 7

Always, remember, YOU are the parent. You do not have to explain yourself to your child, you don't have to plead, argue or coerse your child in publc. If he shows indifference, like in a grocery store, remove him from the situation. The groceries will still be in the store when you are ready to try again.
First and foremost, when you say something, mean it, do it. Do not threaten, they will TEST YOU. Don't ever tap, hit or yell at your child again. You are teaching him to tap, hit and yell.
Use your brain and they will respond by using theirs. That is the gift we have when we are born human. The gift of reason and communication. Do not overexplain, say it once and DO IT!
Besides, if you were two you would not enjoy shopping. If you do go to the store, then start with short, quick trips, no treats but end up with five minutes at the park just after your excursion. Not as a reward, make it your daily plan or routine. Treat your child as a person, not as a belonging or a little puppy, constantly taking orders.

Answer 8

Strongly recommend a book by Dr. Dobson "The Strong Willed Child" - the best lesson I took away from that book was to pick my battles and make the punnishment fit the crime. Oh, and the battles you pick- you gotta win. :-)

A lot of "battles" they can "win" are those like wearing socks and sandals in the rain (wet tootsies, no picnic), staying up really late (an early morning and full day following this with no nap time really drives the point home)...

Car seat and safety issues are battles I always pick and make sure I win. Even if it involves a field trip to an ER or police station.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Just remember you are the parent not him! I have raised 4 and what I say goes, isn't a debate. Giving him a slap on the behind isn't a bad thing but maybe he's looking for attention Start taking away his favorite toys and tell him he has to start to earn them back by behaving. This will happen a few times and than he will get the hang of whats going on... be bad/loose a toy, be good...gain a toy back.

Answer 10

First, always be consistent in the rules and punishments for breaking them. He is constantly testing his boundaries...the more consistent you are, the more secure he becomes, and the less it will happen. Second, count to ten before you do anything...unless he has done a major no-no like playing with the stove. I find time-out works incredibly well at the toddler/pre-schooler age. It drives them crazy to have to sit still. My oldest son is 3 now, and he still occassionally tests the limits...just so he can be sure where they are. Remember, they are learning constantly.