Etiquette help about his anNOYing habit!! I can't take another minute of this. What should I do about it?

Question

My darling betrothed is, oh, dare I say it, a spoon biter!Eoyerrwugh! It drives me mad. Here's the deal: when we met, I noticed SOMETIMES he has a tendency to bite down & pull out with the teeth on his eating utensil, be it a fork or a spoon, or even the occasional spfoon. Eeer. "This is gonna be a problem for me," I thought upon 1st hearing it. He's splendid in every other way and if this thing didn't DRIVE ME INSANE (I don't know why...I've TRIED tolerance for over 2 years now...) I'd just go on saying nothing. INITIALLY, I talked to him about it maybe on 3 DIFFERENT OCCASIONS. He declared that he'd never gotten any other complaints and promised (stubbornly) that HE'D NEVER ATTEMPT TO CHANGE IT ~ it's something he's done all his life. When we eat breakfast especially and have a regular discussion, I'm sitting there steaming, praying through it, doing deep breathing, etc...just trying to be tolerant, since he says he won't change. I need your solutions before I snap. PLEASE.

WOW!! Bless your hearts for these outstanding answers. I'm going to Wal-Mart..better yet COSTCO for a huge box of plastic forks. I'm also going to try to make a deal with him. I'll try to stop doing what I do that annoys him - I've stopped a lot of stuff over the years, though. Anywho... a few of you are right. I'm doing good if this is my only complaint. But still, I'm tired of steaming while my teeth are on edge. Thanks again!!!

Answer 1

Like some of the previous answers but how about giving him only plastic cutlery? Could be a good training tool til he breaks the habit. A life time of doing something is VERY difficult habit to break and eating isn't something that most people even think about. If it's going to drive you nuts some compromise needs to be made and ONE thing shouldn't be a make or break.

Answer 2

The spoon-biting probably shouldn't be a deal breaker--but his unwillingness to change it very well could be.

I once broke up with a guy who didn't hold his utensils properly. Of course the reasons for the breakup were somewhat more complicated than the utensils problem alone, but the moral of the story is: if you think he's a mannerless oaf, you're going to lose respect for him, and the relationship isn't going to work.

I think you can do better. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

solution: eat separately
solution: never place utensils for him, make him walk over and get his own.
you know, it's a small thing but it could break the relationship.
for what it's worth, I think you are in the right...he has no right to maintain a childish amusement which offends others and he probably would not do it at a friends home.

Answer 4

If there is anything you do that annoys him, maybe you could make a deal. You will stop .......if he will stop biting his utensils. Make sure it is something you do frequently and will be as hard to stop as his habit.

My worry would be his attitude if he is not ready to change or "make a deal"

Answer 5

Talk to him and tell him how much it bothers you. There is no way to get him to stop unless he makes a concious decision to change it. He has to remember while he's eating. Have the dentist tell him that it's bad for his teeth or something.

Answer 6

Rule #174 about male/female relationships. He won't change unless he wants to.

Answer 7

YOU HAVE ALREADY ENDURED his "bad" habit. So give yourself another year or so. If you really love him then give him the time to realize that he is troubling you with this "bad" habit. Only he, can change this.

All the best.

Answer 8

If thats the only thing you have to complain about,your doing REALLY well.

Answer 9

he told you he wont change so what are you doing with him if his habit annoys you?? tolerate his bad habits or leave.

Answer 10

Deal with it or leave.