is it normal to dislike your stepchild?

Question

ok I left out something IMPORTANT the child started abusing mine at the age of three(mine) her(five) went on for 3-4 yrs they are now 13 and 10

Answer 1

???? If you search with in yourself you will realize it is not the child you dislike...it is more than likely something to do *with* the child in question. It could be that you dislike the father/mother,or the way the mother/father chooses to raise the child(even though you love the mother/father,you don't have to like everything she/he does),there are many different things it could be and only you can find the reason(s) for dislike...but it is more than likely not the child itself! It is VERY hard to be a step-parent...I know from experience (a couple times had b/f w/child(ren).) It is not an easy thing and it may turn out NOT the answer you are happy with but you are the only one who can find the true reason and decide if the reason is tolerant to your life. Good Luck in the future and PLEASE search yourself and help mend the relationship with the step-child...as long as you wish to be with the parent of the child(ren). NOT having a good/honest/trusting relationship with that child(ren) will and probably has already put a terrible strain on your relationship with the parent of the child(ren). It is not good for anyone involved to have undelying stress!

Answer 2

I'm sure Dr. Freud would have some sort of outstanding opinion on this but, alas, I am not Dr. Freud so you are stuck with mine. Being the product of both a Stepfather and mother I think a little animosity in the beginning is normal. You both are learning how to push each other's buttons and, more importantly, how to share a loved one. Your stepchild is not your child and that is important to know and accept immediately however, that doesn't mean you let the kid walk all over you. You have got to make it known that you are still the adult but not the parent but don't be obnoxious about it. Remember, you are the "intruder" in the child's eyes.

It's hard coming from a split home, cut the kid some slack and try to find some common ground where the two of you can develop some relationship, no matter how superficial.

Oh, and one last note, you disliking the stepchild I'm sure is pretty transparent to the biological parents.

Answer 3

Well... if s/he makes a real nuissance... it's natural.

But unless s/he is trully angelic... yes, it is normal. I mean, your spouse had a child by somebody else... especially if you don't have children yet, that has to grate. And when you do, it's a tinge of jealousy - when your spouse pays attention to your stepchild instead of your own children... yes, it's normal.

BUT it is not normal to think that your dislike cannot be changed; it is not normal to dislike them without a specific reason for a long time, and not to try to get to know the stepchild, so you can overcome your dislike.

Answer 4

Its natural to dislike anyone. Some people just won't and can't see eye to eye. It's how you act on it, as a responsible adult who has chosen to take part in the role of shaping this stepchild's future, that counts.
Whether or not you like your stepchild is irrelevant. What you do that is hopefully in the interest of this child's future and well-being is extremely important and of the utmost paramount.

Answer 5

Personally, my two step-kids mean as much to me as my own children. I absolutely adore them. But I know that I'm one of the lucky ones. I realize that combined families are not easy! But I also think that people tend to be a little harder, and even a little jealous of their stepchildren because they are a reminder of your spouses previous relationship. Especially if you don't get along with your spouses ex!
When I married my husband 8 1/2 years ago, he had his two kids from his previous marriage, and I had my three. And since we got married, we have had four together. We both came out of horrible marriages, so our exes are not the nicest people in the world, but we decided we had to make everything as easy as possible for the kids sake. I can't stand the ground my husband's ex-wife walks on, but I now she is my step-children's mother, and I would never say anything bad about her in front of the kids, and my husband is the same with my kids. He would never talk bad about their dad in front of them.
We wanted our other five kids to feel like they are just as important and loved by both of us as the four we had together are. I think it's important to try and find the reason you dislike the child, and understand if it's feelings you have towards the child's other parent, or if it's honestly something the child has done. Try to work it out.

Answer 6

It could be normal to dislike anyone, they are your own feelings. What you do with those feelings is the important part. Go inwards and figure out why you feel this way, be honest with yourself, even if you don't like the answers. Then with this new understanding (which will take awhile, but it will come if you are sincere), you will see that the disliking is faded or gone, because the reasons why are not that important.
I hope this helps...sometimes it's hard to say in words what I mean...

Answer 7

It is not normal, but sadly a lot of the times, true.
There are a lot of people out there who also adore their stepchild. So think positive. Be wise. If you love her parent, you can surely love the child.

Answer 8

I don't know about disliking a step child really, because I only have my own kids, and when I was single I wouldn't date a woman that had kids, because I would find it difficult to raise kids that wern't mine. If I were in your position though, and there was abuse, I would first speak to you other half about their kid beating up on my younger kid, if that didn't work then I would put a stop to it. Because that's BS. Maybe the kid needs some counciling or lithium, if he/she can't keep their hands to themselves.

Answer 9

properly actual.. i have considered the final public of this habit from black people even if it would not advise all black people are rude like those fellows there. This has got here about to me beforehand too even as i replaced into truly the purely white people on the final practitioner. those people there have been so ghetto and maximum all started screaming issues at me. yet i'm getting out of there and behold i'm not surrounded by skill of idiots anymore. interior the coolest look at it like this: Their in basic terms stupid people. And all of us recognize there are stupid people everywhere, no count what race. So do not let them get to you. Lol. yet sturdy project I stay in a Jewish community. not an oz of problem right here. If the zone the position you stay bothers you flow to a Jewish community. ;]

Answer 10

NOt at all you don't have to like anyone but you do have to put up with her/him. Try to remember it is a child and it could be your child and you would not want anyone to treat your child bad and you should be able to look past all the spoilness and little "bad" thing that they try to do to make you mad. Remember do on to other as you would like done to you