i'v married just 3 months ago.i have a great husband and i love him so much. he has a very intimate relationship with his mom and although i 'm not a jelouse girl but i dont know why i'm just sick about this. his mom and his only sis are not bad persons at all and we havent any problem . i just pretend and treat them so much politeness but i know that it's not true! is that normal not abling to see yr in-laws? would you plz let me know yr ideas?
2006-07-11 00:49:10 · 9 answers · asked by mahsaassadi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is, because your just getting to know them, you'll come to love them sooner or later
2006-07-11 00:54:27 · answer #1 · answered by [dANiiE♥♫]™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's very common, esp for women. Try to give it time, because things will get sticky if/when you have kids. That may be a turning point for you - either good or bad.
My best friend was annoyed by her mother-in-law. And, of course wedding plans were a nightmare, and the first 6 months or so w/ the new baby were a nightmare. But, somewhere in there, things improved (betw the time the baby was 6 - 12 months). Now she looks at her mother-in-law as a helpful person rather than an imposition (i.e. she has a real purpose for her because she can help take care of the baby).
2006-07-11 00:56:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it can take a WHILE to get adjusted to your in-law family... and for your marriage to take a priority in your husband's life over, say spending time with his family or telling things to his mom before he has told you...
Try to have an open mind about it and don't decide that you'll hate them forever.
Don't feel bad that you're not head over heels in love with being a part of their family now... just try to be yourself and I hope that you will kind of "grow into" your new family.
Even within a biological family everyone has their differences of opinion, different tastes, different styles, even different values systems, so keep that in mind. If you feel like the odd one out, it's not because you're an in-law, it's b/c everyone is different and when it comes to family, we find ourselves having and even nurturing relationships with people who, otherwise, we normally wouldn't have a relationship with at all.
I do have to mention that I had to talk to my DH early on that I did not want the first time I heard of something big in his life (a promotion, a move at work) to be when we were at his parents' for dinner and he was telling THEM over the table- NOT TELLING ME FIRST!! That made me so mad and it wasn't right for him to do that. After all, I am his life partner now in sickness and in health blah blah blah. You may have to assert yourself on this a bit, but don't do it yelling and screaming and crying. Do it in a calm way with a voice that is trying to reason, not accuse or blame, and you will probably get a good reaction.
Congratulations on your marriage!!
Good luck.
2006-07-11 01:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely normal. But try and get along with them for your husband. And unless they have done anything to make you feel this way try and make the best of the situation. you never know you could make a good friend out of the sister, but the mother try and keep your distance or they will try and control you like your one of her kids. And let her know your not.....
2006-07-11 00:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You claim it's not jealousy but you don't know why you are sick about them? I think you are dumb. OR I think you don't want to admit that you are jealous.
You think you should not treat them with politeness? How do you think you should treat them?
What does "is that normal not abling to see yr in-laws?" mean?
Try learning to communicate!
2006-07-11 00:54:44 · answer #5 · answered by csucdartgirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give it time. He probably is close to his family and that scares you (because he has other ties). But that love and the love he has for you is completely different. It will be okay. You just aren't use to the "extended family" yet. My in-laws really are hard to deal with so feel blessed.
2006-07-11 01:05:21 · answer #6 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is completely normal. Nobody likes the in-laws. Just try your best to avoid them or talk with your husband about it.
2006-07-11 00:52:37 · answer #7 · answered by rockandroll5556 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-10 07:50:27 · answer #8 · answered by zell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I undertand the feeling. You can't be close to them because you are not a very sociable person. It is best if they don't visit too often.
2006-07-11 00:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋