Any other mother's feel like you aren't appreciated or even loved by your husband at all??

Question

My husband is constantly on my case about EVERYTHING! Always questioning my parenting of our 2 year old daughter (I'm a stay at home mom), I'm 7 months pregnant now and never feel good plus I have been fighting depression over personal loss issues for almost 5 years as it is, but I keep up with our daughter somehow & do all the housework & cooking. He gripes about the house, my cooking, my being on the computer when I cant sleep, what shampoo I use on our 2 year old during her baths, how hot or cold I have the house when he isnt even here; just everything! I'm sooo stressed out I just wanna scream, I cry at the drop of a dime and unless I have on a happy face 24/7 he gets mad & actually has to ask me whats wrong... I cant hardly sleep at night but he expects me to just close my eyes & poof I'll be asleep. Tonight he had the gall to say to me "How the f*ck you gonna handle 2 kids when you cant even handle one?!", I hear this type of thing every single day.. how do you cope?

Answer 1

I think YOU need a vacation.

Then I think you need to RE-NEGOTIATE your relationship with your husband.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Do like I telll my husband, kiss my a**, if you think you can do a better job, then have at it. Men do not understand that taking care of a child especially if your pregant is the hardest job you can have. **Been there done that I have a 6 and 1 year olds**
At stay at home mom has a job, that is considered 2 full-time jobs. One day don't do anything, leave the house work, let the kid get dirty, feed her and take care of the potty duty, but leave everything else. When he comes home and asked you what the hell you did all do, say you know how you come in and ask me what the hell I did, say well I didn't do it today. He might get the point. If he doesn't like it, tell him until he gets life with you, then you and the kids are leaving. Myhusband understands how I feel, I left him with my youngest for an hour, and all she did was scream and poop. Needless to say, I haven't heard another word from him. **I'm starting to think my husband starts this sh** to piss me off, he thinks he is such a smart-a**

Good Luck Honey, go see a psychologist for your depression, they can help you with or without medication, if you don't get help your kids will be the ones that suffer

Answer 3

I do sometimes feel I am not appreciated by my husband. We as homemakers are just expected to do all the things to keep a house running. To take care of children, pay bills, clean house, go shopping, cook, wash clothes and still be true to ourselves! I think you should tell him maybe if he doesn't like the you are doing things then he should help out. You are juggling so many things right now. Being a stay at home Mom is a blessing at times, but it is hard unpaid job 24 hours a day, with no vacation time, sick time and definately no personal time off. I hope you have some family or friends that you can vent to about your situation. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED THE WAY YOU ARE BEING TREATED!!! You are a beautiful woman who needs to be honored and most definately respected! I think he needs to know he is the reason you can't handle things. The way he is treating you is abuse. He needs to be grateful for all you do. Could he do all you do?? Probably not!Loss is something men seem to brush off. I know how you feel. I have also had many loses in the past 5 years and antidepressants don't even seem to help. Some days just getting up and do the basics is hard. Be gentle with yourself and speak to your doctor to see if he can help you in any way. I will keep you in my thoughts. Best of Luck with the new baby!

Answer 4

hi there
im also in the same i have a two year old and four year old
and in one word a mean un-caring husband that thinks the world should be about him
honey i do what you do i get on the computer when i cant sleep as what else is there i can do that makes me go into a world that feels good no nagging kids,husband
what im trying to stay is there are two thing you can do
stay strong get divorced i left mine for a week with the kids bye the time i came back wow how things have changed still working at it but it woke him up well a little

regards



a

friend

Answer 5

I've been there. Now, I am divorced. Whether that is the answer for you is only for you to consider.. For yourself, I think you would benefit from some form of counseling. His behavior is abusive and I can't say that strongly enough. You would probably benefit and get some clarity about your situation with counseling. At the very least, you might gain enough self confidence to see that you don't need or deserve this. Also, some marriage counseling. I think my first stop would be with my family doctor. He could give you great advice and be able to work with the possible depression you are going through as the result of your situation.

Answer 6

I think your husband is a cold hearted bastid and needs to understand the value of a woman and not think he ordered you from a Sears catalog under the catergory house bitcch. You need to start adressing your self and speak to your Ob about you insomnia which a sign of depression not heathly while expecting it will only escalate after the pregnacy ,it may just be a simple hormonal issue since you basically just gave birth only two years ago.......as for your husband that is not something I can tell you how to handle but I see a serious need for some marriage counseling for both and and good old fashion kick on the **** for him................

Answer 7

You tell him hes the one that needs to start handeling his part. Hes not treating you right, there may no physical abuse, but he is mentally abusing you. And although you may think you need him, you dont. You could get along just fine without him and I know this because I have been there and done that, I was a single mom with 3 girls taking the same type of thing from their father, I got a job showed him I didnt need his money and made him move out. I felt better than ever.Good luck!

Answer 8

First of all, see your family doctor, you need some help dealing with what sounds like a solid case of depression. It sounds to me like you need some counseling along with some medication. You may have to go alone, because your husband sounds like a manipulative, controlling jerk.

Remember, what your children observe while growing up will be a pattern for their lives. Do you want your daughter thinking its OK to be treated like a second class citizen? If you have a son, he will disrespect women just like your husband appears to, cause good ole dad brings him up that way.

It seems to me that you are looking at a roadmap of the rest of your life. Is this the happiness you seek from your relationship?

You need help coping, your husband needs to grow up and be a man instead of spoiled child that wants everything his way. Talk to a doctor, a minister, or a womans support group.

I feel sorry for you, a real man would be there to help his soul mate through difficulties, not add to them.

Answer 9

I think your husband is really controlling and he is degrading your self esteem. This is a form of abuse. Ask him point blank why he feels you have no mind of your own. Tell him he needs to be less expressive about how you manage your daughter and your household because believe it or not, you really DO know how to do these things. Suggestions are one thing, but demeaning remarks are entirely a different story. He may not realize he is acting this way, but if he's insulting your intelligence on purpose he is definitely abusive and needs outside help if you both want your marriage to succeed. Use tough love; don't let his remarks get you down. Do what you have to do and NEVER let him see that he upsets you.

Answer 10

www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5067a_qa.html

The subject of physical and emotional abuse in marriage is difficult to address because spouses cannot usually agree as to what it is. Physical abuse is easier to define than emotional abuse because there are bruises to prove it. But even a spouse who seriously injures or even kills the other spouse during a fight can justify his or her behavior as self-defense, not abuse. And the courts often see it that way, too, particularly if women are the ones doing the killing and maiming.

On the other hand, a spouse who walks away from an argument can be accused of being emotionally abusive by the spouse who wants to continue arguing. And those who are not home often enough to even discuss an issue are often considered abusive by a neglected spouse. But is neglect really abuse?

The reason abuse is difficult to define is that it usually means one thing to the abuser and another to the one being abused. In our society where there are so many rewards for being a victim, it's common for BOTH spouses to claim that it's the other who is being abusive, and in most cases, they're right. But what they usually can't understand is that they are both perpetrators of abuse, as well.

However, there's an issue that's far more important than how abuse is defined. Whatever we decide to call it, abuse or something else, spouses who feel abused are being hurt. So the advice I give on the subject of abuse tends to sidestep the issue of definition, and it goes right to the core of the problem -- that spouses must learn to protect each other from any of their behavior that's harmful. There are literally thousands of ways that one spouse can hurt another, and I am opposed to all of them. Whatever it's named, if you are hurting your spouse, you should stop doing it.

Abusive behavior usually begins when a couple tries to resolve a conflict the wrong way. Instead of finding a solution that meets the conditions of the Policy of Joint Agreement (never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse), an effort is made by one spouse to force a solution on the other. Resistance to the proposal is matched by increasing force until the spouse browbeats the other into submission. Every fight is an example of abuse because it uses the tactic of emotional or physical force to resolve a conflict instead of respect and thoughtfulness.

Answer 11

Have you tried answering his love language? Don't give up, every relationship you'll have will be the same. Read the book "love languages" you can find it on amazon for like 4 bucks. When you start to speak his love language he changes. You marriage then turns into nothing but you guys trying to make eachother happy.