Men Only....Would you date.... ?

Question

I'm a successful and (so I'm told) attractive 33 year old with two well behaved children (a 6 year old son and a baby daughter). I have a great job and am financially independent. I can make people laugh and don't lack the ability to laugh at myself and my friends can't believe that I'm on my own.

I'm separated from my husband and going through divorce proceedings... no dramatic break up, just drifted apart and was making each other miserable. We are on good terms and my soon to be ex-husband is a good person and good father and has a lot of contact with our children which I wouldn't deny him!

The only problem now is that when I tell guys about my children, every single one has run away at a million miles an hour....

I'm very lonely and feel like I'm going to be alone forever. Why can't I find that special someone that I can adore and love and have him love me back.

I'm not looking for a father for my children, they already have one, but would want a guy to love my children as they are part of me....

Answer 1

yes i think so

Answer 2

The biggest problem dating a women w/ children is you don't have just one relationship to nurture. You have 1 for each child as well. Trust me when I say the kids can be brutal. As an outsider you are viewed as a threat.No matter what the mother feels for you if the children dislike you it will never work. Most guys over 25 have dealt with a failed relationship w/ a single parent, that's the reason for reluctance. There are alot willing to take the opportunity, just be patient and understanding and the right guy will find you.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Its like anything else in life, there are those that will and those that wont, unfortunately you’ve come across too many of the wont kind do far.

It always disturbs me when i hear people refer to their kids as baggage, might be better to say they come with blessings!

You’ve already explained your kids don’t need a new dad, they already have one but im sure another friend to them wouldn’t come amiss.

Kids are wonderful and whilst it’s true that there is a bond with your own that you can’t explain, its very easy to create a bond with someone else’s to, perhaps not the same but a relationship that’s no less valid. I know people who have fostered and id defy anyone to believe that they are any less equipped as parents because there is no biological link!
Anyway, don't be lonely as you’ve two great companions and i promise that someone will appear soon, think about it, if you got 3 for the price of 1 in ASDA people would rave about it :-)

Oh, also, those that run, consider them lucky escapes, better you find out they are superficial now rather than later.

Good luck

Answer 5

The answer is that good men are VERY hard to find. I know the running away men are hurtful but in truth you are weeding out the losers who would run the second things got tough. If you look at this as a test of your strength and be patient, he will find you. You also might try and alter where and how you are meeting them. With so many healthy ways to network, you might find a more mature candidate in a different venue. The other answer might be to widen your net, age wise as the older guy might not want more kids and might be happy to have a second chance to be an even better dad with your kids.

Answer 6

Honestly,

If I were you I would focus on finding someone who is in the same boat as yourself. I'm 33, never married, no kids and I can't imagine dating someone who has children. Believe me, I have done it and I was the exact same way. I really tried it and I just wasn't cut out for raising someone else's kids. If I were you I would get on eHarmony (where there are 93 marriages a day from people who met on there) and post a picture with you and your kids. There are some really teriffic people out there who would love to meet you. However, my question to you is WHERE are you trying to meet people? If you're meeting people at places where "really" single people are (no kids, never married) I don't think you're going to be able to connect with people who have your same goals/vision. Give eHarmony or Match.com a try and that way the people who will respond to your profile will know EVERYTHING about you (well, the mainpoints, anyway) and will contact you if they like what they see and read!

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

this is a really tough one. the way i see things, their are 2 types of guys. the first, might well love you, but doesnt want to have a relationship with your children, this is unfortunately the majority of single guys. a relationship with a type 1 male will be horrendously difficult. you wil have to balance you relationship with him with your relationship with your children, and the type 1 male will be acutely aware that no matter what happens, you will love you children more than you love him. Type 2 males are much more secure and confident (despite the bravado that type 1 males might demonstrate). if they love you, they will love you, and they will be secure enough to recognise and handle that your children will come first, the insecurity of type 1 will not be apparent. type 2 will be willing and determined to forge a relationship with your children, not out of a desire to raise them or replace their father, but out of a desire to understand and love you more.

ultimately however, if you go "hunting" for a new partner, you will encounter type 1 more often than type 2. i would reccomend going out, socialising nad having fun, but dont actively look for a partner, as many men will see that drive as WANTING A father figure for you children, and they may well become type 1 males. Relax, make friends, and sooner or later you will fall in love again, and it will probably hit you blindside, like lightning.

i wish you the best of luck with this honey, you will find someone, or more accureately, you will find each other, it will just take some time.

Answer 8

I would have no problems dating / falling in love with a 33 year old lady with 2 children that can make me laugh.

I think the question i would ask back would be are you trying to find someone to love you or all of you?

Remember a single guy is used to doing things when they want, even down to going out for dinner on the spare of teh moment or out at the weekend for breaks etc.

Only an opinion but i loved a girl with a six year old son, it was great to start off with and then it got harder and harder as she didn't want me to get too close in case we split and her son would then get hurt as well....

Difficult but try speed dating, even if it means you get back on the flirting scene, it's great for confidence and can open your social scene right up.

Good luck foxy lady

Answer 9

I am not going to give you any of the usual rubbish that appears on this site but will tell you what I think in a frank and honist way.

Men who dont have kids really dont want to take on anyone elses, I know this from experience as my mum brought me up on her own until she meet my step dad.

This sucks but as a young man I found myself doing the same thing when I met a girl who was 23 and had 4 kids by 4 diffrent fathers.

You will meet someone who will love you and your kids but it will take time.
Its a very difficult thing that you are asking for, you would like a man to go from being single to being a father figure and to take on responsibilitys that as far as is his concern is nothing to do with him.
I compleatly agree that you should move on with your life and find someone to love but you have to keep in mind the well being of the kids.
How will they take mommy bring new men home and going out with new guys?
I am not saying that you should be single but you have other concerns as well as finding the new mr right.

In your question you state that the kids have a father, how will he take to the fact that you are out dating? does he want his kids exposed to men who he doesnt know?

There are not many men who will take on a women who has an ex husband and kids but there are some who will do it and these are the guys you are looking for but you should keep in mind the well being of your kids.

Answer 10

Well, it takes a special man to want to raise two children, that are not thier own.

Most men, are immature about this, so you have to look at an older man, who is ready to do some nurturing...

I read someplace that a young man will spend his first years until retirement working his self to death to provide for the family, while the woman nutures them. Then, when he retires, "he" is ready to nurture them as his financial obligation is over because of a steady paycheck now, and they are fully grown at this time and the woman has no interest in nurturing now, but is interested in a career of her own.

So, an older man will be more likely to be interested in nurturing your children, than a young man will be.

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 11

You wish to have true happiness!! so therefore youre still not happy.
I'm sure, you're both on the process of divorce coz you're not happy with each other.

But how can you be so sure that you can find happiness with other men when in fact in the first place you're not happy with you're soon to be ex.

Is there a guarantee that you can find a man that can make you happy?

Yes of course you can find that man but first know the criteria on how to find that man. Note, you should be very patient since it will not be easy for you have a baggage now, your 2 children>

How to know the criteria? go to www.familyfed.org! evrything is there>

good day!!!