My bf and I have been commuting for the last 3 months, 5 hr drive each way on the wkd to visit each other. Very stressful but only way to see each other- he told me today before I left his place that he doesnt think he can do this ( the drive back and forth) as much as he would like because of financial reasons and b/c it dirsrupts his life too much- and he cant save money and barely can make ends meet.
We are in a long distance relationship cuz he wasnt ready to live together when we lived in the same state- and I feel that seeing each other less will kill the relationship - we already lack the trust factor- and I feel his family is convincing him to drive less to see me, so that I would move there- I already moved once for him but he didnt want to live together- he also says he will ask me to marry him but still no ring- dont even know if he can afford it .. i believe he loves me but says he feels like a lousy bf-- i love him but dont know
what to believe or do anymore : (
2006-07-10 20:40:53 · 27 answers · asked by Mx2 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Suggest moving in together again. If he says no well there's your answer. He says he wants to marry you, yet doesn't want to move in with you and doesn't want to drive to see you so that doesn't leave much else now does it?
2006-07-10 21:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by DialM4Speed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't look good at this point. Was he okay with you visiting every other week and letting him save his money? If not, he is pretty much ending it. And a long distance relationship without frequent visits will most likely end up in a break-up.
Lots of men will tell you that they want to marry you, but the proof is in the pudding (the ring and proposal). You will find that a man that truly loves you will do almost anything to be with you...and he has just been running. Not to say that he doesn't care for you, but he is not in love enough to sacrifice anything.
Good luck.
2006-07-11 03:49:33 · answer #2 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's clearly an inconvenient romance, but not necessarily a dead one. The distance factor prevents the relationship from progressing much more than it is now. He's right about the life disruption etc, and that would apply to your inconvenience as well. I think you're entering a new phase where only the test of time will be the referee on this one. If it was meant to be, you have major obstacles to overcome.
2006-07-11 03:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound cold but I dated someone that was long distant and he would visit me with no problem as time went on he started making excuses I know that 5 hours is long compared to the 30 minute drive that my ex took, But in my opinion you need to move on seems like your man has found someone else, and is just trying to ease his guilt, It's cold and sad how his behavior is but if a person truly loves you distance wouldn't be a factor so just move on before the pain gets more worse than what it is, One day you will meet someone decent for you that is worthy of your love and time.
2006-07-11 03:45:36 · answer #4 · answered by Neek-Neek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distant relationships are very hard, especially when the cash flow isn't there. Best thing to do is tell him how you feel and go from there. If he wants to be with you then he will find a way. If he just gives you excuses, then chances are he doesn't want to make that kind of a commitment yet.
2006-07-11 03:45:32 · answer #5 · answered by low1sk8er 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to hurt feelings here but it sound as if the relationship is already missing the most important ingredient... Trust!
It also sounds like you are the one that is required to put all of the effort into this to keep it going.
I cant help but to think that if you put just a fraction of the effort in to your own personal happiness.... You wouldn't feel so conflicted over this guy.
It may seem selfish, but sometimes you have to ask..."Whats in it for me?" really.... Ask yourself that! Maybe make a list of the positive points that you benefit from. "I love him, and He loves me" You already know that, so don't even list it!!!
Good luck!
2006-07-15 12:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by and,or,nand,nor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Head games some of it .Find someone that you trust and closer .Long distance is the hardest of all relationships . But here it seems it's not the financial problems but he is the problem .
2006-07-11 03:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by Fairy Tale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm stumper. The only thing i could tell you is you have to ask yourself one question. are you truly happy in your current situation? I'm thinking no but if you stick with this guy for the wrong reasons: guilt, stability, afraid of being alone. I'll see you in ten years as another divorce stat. Just my opinion
2006-07-12 18:53:23 · answer #8 · answered by NEOTEH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person making sacrifices is you...I would give him space and back off. Let him miss you awhile and try to find someone to date casually on a local basis. If you are meant to be together he will make an effort to make it work.
2006-07-11 03:48:41 · answer #9 · answered by lisa1984 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST PRAY ABOUT IT AND THE ANSWER ON WHAT TO DO WILL COME TO YOU.... KEEP IN MIND THOUGH GAS PRICES ARE THROUGH THE ROOFFFFFFF...... SO HE DOES HAVE A VALID POINT THERE... IT IS OBVIOUS THAT HE HAS SOME COMMITMENT ISSUES ALSO.... SO NOT MOVE UNLESS HE AT THE LEAST CAN ASK YOU TO MARRY HIM... BUT THAT IS MY OPINION.... YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT TO MOVE... TO STAY WITH HIM OR NOT... AND ITS YOUR DECISION ALONE... BE SMART ABOUT IT AND TOLERATE ONLY WHAT YOU CAN TOLERATE... TRUTH OF THE MATTER MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME TIME APART TO PROVE YOU ARE FOR HIM.... AND VISEVERSA.... WHATEVER YOU DECIDE THOUGH BE SMART ABOUT YOUR DECISION.... GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
2006-07-11 03:47:07 · answer #10 · answered by rawdawgsgo_hard2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋