okay. i have a "special friend" that's a boy. but i've been hurt really bad that i can't even think in a sexual context. will i eva get over it? is there anything i can do? i mean i don't wanna go around havin sex w/ everyone. but i can't even think of kissing a guy. i mean i was a lil girl and a man hurt me. it wasn't my fault. I like my friend and i've told him why i can't be in a romantic relationship right now and he said he would wait for me. but i don't wanna keep him waiting forever . . . so help me.
2006-07-10 20:03:57 · 23 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Been there... it can' take a long time or a REALLY great guy. I turned down many guys because that one special one, they just can't compare, but than again they obviously weren't right for me if I was thinking of someone else.
In a way I think it's kept me out of a lot of Bad relationships.
2006-07-10 20:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by double v 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of coarse you'll heal with time. But, you don't sound like you did anything wrong, Otherwise you'd feel more guilt than pain. Why don't you try and let go of a negative experience, while your young. Besides that, the guy that hurt you has probably moved on. Try talking this over with some one. Not just here, because your request for help, is a bit vague. And well, you know you can't explain it all in detail. I highly recommend you don't. Any female older than you, can probably relate to this. I think I know what your asking about. Trust me men are generally stupid creatures sometimes.
2006-07-11 03:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously something serious has happened and without knowing what that is, I can't really help but I'll try anyway. Does thinking about kissing a guy make you feel sick? Do men in general give you a bad taste in your mouth? If so, then you may be interesting in trying something new, for example girls. I'm not saying you should or whatever, but it's obvious to me that you want affection and aren't getting it from guys. I still think you will get over it after a while though, so you could just wait with him.
2006-07-11 03:10:01 · answer #3 · answered by Pickles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need counseling to help you deal with the emotional baggage of being abused. Second you need to look into getting the man who abused you punished. Thirdly, if you felt comfortable enough to talk to you special friend about this then he must be wonderful and if he is willing to work through this you need to hang on to him tight. You are worth waiting for, and obviously he believes this too. Finally, sleeping around is the last thing that you need to do. When a woman sleeps around that does not do anything but damage her already low self esteem. Good luck, hope this helps, and have a good life.
2006-07-11 03:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by simplyfabulous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your beliefs have the majority of impact on this situation. You can try stimulation during association therapy. Try finding another connection with him, other than the fact that he's a guy, and work from that connection into the sexual situations that arouse you. If you're not capable of arousing yourself then you will not be able to ease into a sexual relationship with anyone else. Try pornography and masturbation to associate the pleasure with the visual stimulus, and maybe get some of his cologne so it will make you respond to his smell. Do not force it, but with therapy it will happen as long as you are comfortable with it, and can get better as you go along.
2006-07-11 03:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by Demosthenes&Locke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u said u were young so stop blaiming ur self its over its gone u done have to suffer for ever now u r a new one with a new life just relax and think abt it do u wanna stay like this all ur life ?
do u wanna lose a man just for a bad past?
he should wait if he really wants u bt why u would make it complecated i know u might be thinkin abt what happened every time u think abt gettin over it but u have to belive that u need to get over it and belive that u dun need it in ur life and mind any more
good luck!
2006-07-11 03:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's best for both of you to wait or it may brung back more pain and hurt the relationship .He said he'll wait , thats a great guy .If there comes a time that he says come on now , it's been %$%^*& If your not ready but he doesn't want to wait anymore ,let him go .Because you really need to be settled with yourself .
2006-07-11 03:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by Fairy Tale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait and let time heal you. Most important is to forgive yourself and realize that this was not your fault. Take your time and let them wait as until you heal, you are not ready for anyone and all of your strenth needs to be focused on you. Worry not, you will get over this and love will find you again. The secret now is to get ready and choose even better!
2006-07-11 03:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by christopher7329 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on to the next one. There are many dudes out there. Don't make it all about sex. There will be plenty of chances for you to be the dumper rather the dumpee. But it's not all about being either one. Just be mature about it and realize if at first you don't succeed, get out while the getting is good. However, if what you're getting is good, don't get out.
2006-07-11 03:12:42 · answer #9 · answered by fun.headgiver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will get over it. It gets easier after every break-up. Surround yourself with friends and do things that are fun for you. Keep busy. Dont just start going out with every guy and have sex. You would regret that.. It is not right.
2006-07-11 03:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋