or is it ok for everyday living? I started out as submissive 5 yrs ago, its mostly stayed in the bedroom but in the last 1 1/2 yrs its seems to be moving out in to my everyday life......its this health???
2006-07-10 19:31:14 · 13 answers · asked by sunflowergal35 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you are actually talking about D/s in specific. If you are doing bondage or S&M play out in the vanilla world, there is something wrong. However, I assume that is not the case.
D/s in a relationship is perfectly fine as long as both the Dominant and the submissive agree on what the power exchange will be. Contrary to some beliefs, being a submissive is not an invitation to be a doormat. You do have the ability to draw the line if you are feeling truly uncomfortable. However, it does have the ability to go out of the bedroom in subtle ways which are not distressing, such as running errands or pushing the cart at the grocery.
It can even be made into a game to a certain extent. Just how much D/s can you have out of the bedroom without arousing too much suspicion? In some fields, it wouldn't be difficult. (A male submissive can appear to be a gentleman, a female submissive a traditionalist.)
It is healthy as long as the boundaries that you have to put out for yourself are not violated. If your Dominant is pushing you too far, then you can use your equivalent of a safeword and put it to a stop. However, I would recommend not doing that lightly as it can put your whole relationship into question.
There are couples that practice D/s on a 24/7 basis. Most couples learn to be subtle when dealing with the vanilla world, such as the submissive using their Master's (or Mistress's) name alone when in non-BDSM circles. However, usually these relationships evolve to this state from a more limited power exchange. The growth of a more-external power exchange comes with increased trust, and trusting in your partner when that trust is justified is very healthy.
Hope that helps.
2006-07-11 13:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Actually, Pete has been misinformed. Being a submissive does not mean you no longer have any choice. Now, if you're a slave, as i am, that's a different matter. But a submissive will (and should) most certainly have limits and a safeword. In fact, the submissive is the one who has the true power in a D/s relationship, because it is she who decides when and how she submits, and when the relationship begins and ends.
That said, i know of many couples who live a D/s lifestyle around the clock. For these people, it's not a hobby but a true lifestyle. i would encourage you to do some research, including talking to others in the lifestyle. One of the best websites i've found is at www.castlerealm.com. A web search may turn up groups of people in your area whom you can speak with.
Good luck to you!
2006-07-11 14:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by arani_csa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy is nice to begin with he will be nice after those kinds of activities. Remember that those things are for the bedroom and no where else. Its totally normal to be into that stuff, just remember that maintaining a high level of respect for both yourself and the other person is important. Getting into BDSM is a fetish just like any other fetish. Keep it safe and respectful and you'll be fine.
2016-03-27 00:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you picked being a submissive, remember, that means you have to submit without question to anything your master deems. In other words you are not supposed to have a mind of your own, or you are not a submissive, so what are you going to do? Being a submissive is never a healthy thing, it is not a relationship, it is being used by someone for whatever perverted pleasure they have.
So to answer your question, no it NEVER was healthy...you need to continue with your present course and start questioning why you are a submissive, in other words, start growing a brain girl.
2006-07-10 19:38:27 · answer #4 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion BDSM should be a part of everyday living to a point that is. It should stay out of the workplace if at all possible, you should also talk to your partner, your Master or your Mistress which ever it should be and see what they think on the matter if they are comfortable with it moving out into your "vanilla" life then so be it. just some advice from a fellow sub
2006-07-10 19:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what are you really asking? If you're asking about clothing changes, control over what you eat or do, etc. then the question is whether you enjoy the changes. If you're saying that the lifestyle is impacting negatively your work, studies and other important relationships then that is a different question.
2006-07-11 01:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by qandaonthefly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that depends on your level of submissive.If it is only play then the bedroom might be correct,but if it is a lifestyle thing then it seems to me that it would have little boundaries
2006-07-10 19:41:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is healthy AS LONG as you totally trust your Master. As long as you know he loves you completely, unconditionally.
My hubby and I met as Dom/sub, we are more like a regular couple now, specially since we had our daughter... But he is Dominant in nature and he tells me how he adores me. I even catch him watching me when I am asleep...
But just make sure you are okay with it and happy...
2006-07-11 11:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by angelsmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!!! Explore...It's the only way you gonna know what you really like...Have fun,but be decreet.. Keep it exciting though..
2006-07-10 19:38:12 · answer #9 · answered by blueboyswoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's perfectly healthy as long as it is safe, sane, and consentual.......check out the site beow for more info
2006-07-10 19:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋