We went out for a week and I broke up with him because I wasn't sure. Then, 3 months later we try going out again. I stay at home and he goes out to party with his friends. He drinks and smokes marijuana and he ends up having sex with someone. He gave up drinking and smoking for me 2 years ago this August. He comes home and is crying and feels so upset for what he has done because he finally realizes what happened. He goes online and tells me right away when he gets home and tells me he's sorry. We are so in love but at the time we didn't know each other that well and we never met each other by then except once but we didn't talk or anything. We broke up and he was with her for a week or so. We waited to get back together. After that, we have been together for 2 years and 5 months this friday and we have known each other for 3 years this August. I try not to hold it against him and I want to forgive him but it's really hard for me. We plan on a future together!
2006-07-10 18:10:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no and why would you want to plan a future with a loser?
2006-07-10 18:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by bobndew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haven't you forgiven him already if you've been together for 2 years 5 months? Maybe not. There must be something bothering you if you're still not over what happened 3 years ago. Maybe you need to really sort all that out before you start planning a future together.
One question: you broke up with him twice and both times he went off with another girl even after he said he was sorry. what's up with that?
2006-07-10 18:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by fabulousisjane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key here is that "Forgiveness" is the same as "Forget." You will never be able to move on and have a great relationship if you do not put this "Completely" behind you.
That doesn't mean that you get walked all over, but you have to put all suspicions behind you and move on. If he does something like this again you will find out and know what to do then. But you have to let him off the hook for it completely or forget the relationship altogether.
Trust is the single most important part of your relationship, without it you really don't have one you can rest on...
2006-07-10 18:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by Skrappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has been free of the alcohol and drugs for 2 years and 5 months it sounds like you have a chance and should forgive him. Certainly you must forgive before going on with him. If this was a recent occurance (not sure the way you put it) them dump him. He isn't going to change. Guys that want to hang with "the boys" for male bonding don't do well with relationships or at least their mate usuallly aren't happy.
2006-07-10 18:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by Elwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you described, I think you should not rush into any serious relations with this guy. You should give it some time to see if he truly changed by observing his actions. The fact that he left you for another girl is a strong indicator that he wasn't serious about you back then. One thing is for sure, you should not hurry to forgive him just because you feel emotional and happy that he wants to return to you.
2006-07-10 18:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by explorer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok this was a lot of words to say he cheated early in our relationship, anyway, since then you have been with him for 2 years, don't you think its a little late to be thinking about whether to hold it against him or not? you decided to go out with him again so just let it go, if you weren't sure you should've stayed away from him then, you can't spend 2 years with someone and then say you know i've reconsidered and that crap you pulled two years ago just isn't going to cut it, get out. be serious!
2006-07-10 18:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody is an individual and I try to respect that, your decisions are your decisions so who am I to judge......but since you asked the question, you're an idiot!!!!! And I mean that w/love ;) You know the answer so y did u ask? Hell yea you shouldn't be w/him, you're being stupid, but hey it's your life.....but don't complain later and say guys are dogs when you were the idiot for letting him get away with it.
2006-07-10 18:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by cub6ib9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with dappermom..it is true let it go..past is the past..you went back with him and spent 2 years of your life with him knowing he has done those things..So somewhere down the line you did forgive him but you just can`t forget it..So get over it and just enjoy the relationship you do have...Good Luck...
2006-07-10 18:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by tshee70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be hard to , but I would forgive him. If he gave up smoking and drinking for you then he has to love you.
2006-07-10 18:18:41 · answer #9 · answered by myname 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boot him to the curb. He was smoking, drinking, doing marijuana, and cheated on you.
Can it get any more obvious than that?
2006-07-10 18:15:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋