I need your help? My Mom lives with me and she's not paying her share, what should I do?

Question

I am the youngest of three and the only girl. I moved out when I was 16. My Mom has been divorced for years now and has needed my financial support ever since. I am a full time student, so I decided it would be best for the both of us if we just moved in together until she could handle things on her own. We got along well at first, but things have gotten progressively worse. On top of it all, for the past few months she hasn't been paying her share. I am working less since this arrangement so I could spend more time on my studies. This is becoming a real burden for me and the stress is staring to show in my grades. It's difficult to talk to her about this subject because she's my Mom and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. My friends say I should put her out, but that idea is unfathomable to me. Any other ideas?

She's in her 50's, the lease is in my name, my Father passed away shortly after I was born, and my two brothers can barely support themselves.

Answer 1

She is your mother and honesty is the best policy. You need to sit down and discuss this with your mom. Maybe she is truly "forgetting" to pay her share. You don't say how old she is but she may be having memory lapses and you will never know if the two of you don't discuss it.

Answer 2

A simple question to answer your question, Has your mom ever asked you for your share when you were young??
She is going through a bad phase. Its togetherness that matters. Speak with her and be more open about your limitations. That way she will also put in efforts to run your house.
Have some respect towards your Mom, Kick the daylights of your friends who seem to be tellin you to put your Mom out. Looks like they want your place to shack up.
When you fight such adversities you will surely come out tops and when you look back you would have more than reached the top. Keep your Mom with you No matter what.

Answer 3

Move out. If the lease is in HER name then stop paying the rent and move out. The landlord will come after HER for the rent and be evicted. If you are not on the lease at all seriously stop paying the lease. Also disconnect the cable/ telephone lines if they are in your name before you move out.
Tell your mother you are sick of her mooching off of you and it is going to end today. She pays her rent or you are done with her. Immediately stop paying any rent and save your money, find a friend or a new apt to go to asap. Pack and leave her high and dry. If you arent on the lease then you dont have to pay legally and you DONT own her anything!

Answer 4

Sit your mom down and be perfectly honest with her. Explain to her how you are a working student, and enjoy having her company, but you have your own bills and responsibilities, and in order for you to be the successful woman that you've worked so hard to become, you need her to pay her share.
If she shrugs it off, let her know you need to find a new roomate.
Alternatively, call up one of your siblings and ask for one of them to take care of her for a brief period, as per your current situation.

She's an adult, and while there's nothing wrong with you assisting her in a time of need, you are not her mother. Family is important, but she should not be the reason for a dip in your grades. Is she aware of the strain she is causing? If so, she should be ashamed of herself. I understand your hesitation towards simply pushing her out, but how much are you willing to sacrifice for her? Will you wait until your grades drop so low that you are kicked out of school? Will you wait until your landlord evicts you? Will you wait until creditors are banging down your door? Again, you are both adults and should be able to discuss this as adults.

Answer 5

Tell her you NEED her help, by taking care of these things. I could never put my Mom out either, but I could sit down and talk to her about what it means for her to be living with me and the expectations and shares of responsibility.

Hopefully she raised you to not allow anyone to take advantage of you. She just needs a little reminder.

Answer 6

Communication is key here. Talk with her. She has to KNOW everything you are experiencing.

Tell her your studies are and grades are falling. Your stress level is high.

Shes a grown woman SHE should be the ONE helping/ assisting YOU, not the other way around!

Answer 7

If she wasn't your mother, I would say throw her out. But she's your mother, regardless of what's going on. Don't you have any family members (or your father) who could intervene on your behalf?

If there is no such family and it is just the two of you, maybe you might want to speak to your school counselor, who could in turn talk to your mother. Sometimes third parties are what's needed in order to resolve some issues.

Answer 8

your friends are asses. Anyways talk to your mom. She's your mom. TALK to her.. tell her you're really stressed out and that you're going to be working less and if she can please HELP you out. That's all you have to say.. but talk to her. Don't kick her out.. that's sad. If you're still scared to talk to her.. transfer really far to another state and get another roomate The end.. Yea c'mon stop being scared and talk to her.. COMMUNICation IS the KEY! There are mean ways of saying things and there are nice ways of saying things... be nice and rehearse what you're going to tell her before you say it to her.. bu tyea.. GOodluck I'm sure she'll understand... she's your Mom!

Answer 9

T A L K TO YOUR MUM!

tell her you love and want to be able to help but you are feeling that maybe your relationship with her will end as stressed as your grades if she doesnt help a bit more.

see how that goes.

Answer 10

part of being an adult is making difficult decisions ---- you need to talk with your mom about her not paying her share --- if she balks --- tell mom that you'll be moving out ---effective immediately!