Whats your stance on spanking?

Question

I'm a nonspanker, not because it might hurt their "delicate psyche" but because there are better means of handeling the problem liek taking away of priveldges and video games and such. Spanking just seems barbaric and ineffective in my mind. If it were a good way to teach a lesson you would only have to spank him once. I'm not saying that taking away the xbox for a month or not letting them hang out with friends is 100% but i think its the most reliable alternative. What is your position and why?

Answer 1

taking away my toys or games didn't bother me --- I'd sneak out to my friends and play their games..... physical punishment worked best --- you know your child - so you have to go with what works--- sometimes it's a spanking - sometimes it's taking away privileges... with some it's just raising your voice...

Answer 2

I attempted spanking once....and it didn't work - as a threat or an actual punishment. It isn't something that can be done methodically or without anger. It also sends a message to the child that it's ok to physically hurt someone to teach a lesson - which in boys isn't good at all. I tend to favour 'time out', withdrawling 'fun stuff' like PS2, friends coming round, etc. or just putting him on periods of 'ignore' when the behaviour is bad. The one thing I've learned that is essential with taking things away is warning the child and being specific about what will happen. I also extend and shorten the period that PS2 is withdrawn based on whether the behaviour is improving or worsening.

Answer 3

Which would you rather your child do? Stick the fork in a lightsocket because he doesn't believe you when you say it could hurt him? Or spank him when he heads for that lightsocket and make it a lesson he'll never forget as opposed to a lesson that will end his life (the shock from the lightsocket).

Spanking is fine but only to a point. It should only be used under the most important circumstances, not as an every day punishment.

Answer 4

I am in the middle of the older generations ideas on discipline and the new non spanking techniques. I dont believe its necessary to beat your kids into submission to get them to mind. Its never ok to spank in anger, and nowhere else but the bottom and with a bare hand not a belt. (I got the belt) But I never talked back either. Kids are so disrespectful to their parents these days it was unheard of when I was growing up.

However,I tried non spanking and time out and different things and I have found that what works better for me and mine is the 3 spank rule. If its a safety issue, one to 3 spanks on the butt only to fit the crime. Everything else gets a time out. Running into the road when a car is coming gets 3 firm spanks on the bottom. I have had to do this as my son is very accident prone and active. I watched him jet out in front of a car and yanked him back in the nick of time. Scared the he** out of me. 3 spanks right then and there.

If you dont discipline your kids they wont listen, mind, respect you, act decently when you go places, etc. Your kids feel safer when they have limits and you let them know who's boss. If the other ways work for you then thats good too. I spank because I love my kids, and I never hurt them. Afterwards, we talk about why they got a spank and then I give them lots of LOVE and sometimes a popsickle...

Answer 5

Spanking is not abuse! I am so sick of hearing that! I was spanked quite a lot as a child, and I deserved every warm bottom I ever got and probably a few more. I do not use drugs, I do drink alcohol but only very little, I am happily married with three wonderful children (and yes, I do spank them), there is nothing wrong with my self esteem, I have a B.A. and am currently working on a M.A. Spanking is very effective when used properly.

Answer 6

There is a difference between a swift swat on the butt and a
"I'm pissed as hell and going to beat your sorry hide" kind of punishment. I'm for the first, if it's not overused, and definitely against the second. It also depends on how angry you are. If you're angry, you should never spank your child. But a swift swat is quick, much lighter, and still gets the idea that they've done something wrong... Now if they've done something really wrong, then you take away priviledges.

Answer 7

re: "If it were a good way to teach a lesson you would only have to spank him once."

.......what would that 'lesson' be? most folks say it's to teach that there are Consequences.
as for me, when dad/mom spanked, hit, beat, whipped, belted, switched, back handed, kicked us kids the lesson that taught me was to hate and fear them, hide all my deeds, and go behind their menacing and stupid backs to do or be whatever they would punish me for. i developed a SECRET life at an early age totally separate from my hateful, hurtful parents and got into all kinds of stuff that would have horrified them. it was they (not us) and their spanking that put me and my brother in an underworld that they couldn't enter. all the while they STUPIDLY thought they had such well behaved, model kids since we always looked good to their ignorant faces and cursed/loathed them both behind their idiotic backs! same thing in school where the shop teacher's job was to paddle the bad boys. what an idiot! we just pulled our stunts behind his idiotic back!
our lesson from spanking: go behind the spanker's back and get away with as much as you can!

Answer 8

I only used spanking on my kids when they were little and still in diapers. Didn't hurt their "Delicate Psyche" one bit.

I am now trying to use other methods of discipline. Some work some don't. Just takes time and lots of PATIENCE!!!

Answer 9

There is a ton of room for maneuver here. I firmly believe in paddling, up until age(?). Immediately after the transgression. It is an attention getter. Do the "Wait till your father gets home", and I think it is meaningless to a child at that point. They cannot connect it with their bad act. Paddling is a temporary tool in a box of many to aid in the growth and development of a child for their own benefit. To strike a child for release of your frustrations is mighty low, and counter productive.

Answer 10

As a small child I was spanked only a few times. Each time it wasn't that it hurt (didn't, really), it was the fact that my mother was mad at me that made me feel bad.